Step dad and step daughter

[Justwonderinglikelysilly]

I think I ABU, but just wanted a sanity check.

DD, 12, seems to have grown up overnight. She's beautiful inside and out. I just feel a bit uncomfortable sometimes as she's started wearing short shorts (not showing bum cheeks but short), which is the fashion so understandable

DP isn't her Dad, obviously, and I think I'm a bit paranoid. What about I'm not sure. I guess him thinking things? God this sounds stupid but I don't know how else to articulate it.

I think some of this is largely normal given the world we live in and the media.

I just want her to wear what she wants and be comfortable, but it's making me uncomfortable, with him here, and I'm not entirely sure why.

DP is lovely and kind and has never perved on anyone as far as I can tell! He lives with us and we've been together for years

You're being naturally protective of your daughter, there's nothing wrong with that.

However, if you trust him and he's never given you reason not to then I wouldn't create something out of nothing.

May also be worth having a conversation with your daughter about body integrity.

Statistically stepfathers sexually abuse stepdaughters more often than biological fathers do. They're also more likely to abuse a stepdaughter than their own biological daughter, where they have both. So you're picking up on something very real, something that many of the mothers of those abused stepdaughters were probably oblivious to.

Of course, the majority of stepfathers don't sexually abuse their stepdaughters. Your feelings aren't unreasonable, but they are out of proportion to the risk. I don't think there's much you can do about feeling uncomfortable, it'll hopefully pass as experience proves there's nothing to worry about.

Thank you whattodo and Polly. You've both been very reassuring about my thoughts.

I think because I (like a lot of people) read so much about the stats you mentioned Polly, that it's been on my mind.

He's never given me any reason whatsoever to suspect him. And I'm naturally a bit paranoid/neurotic about everything. I think that's why I wanted a sanity check, because I don't perhaps trust my own mind at times.

I think talking to DD about body integrity is a really good idea Whattodo