I have a close male friend. He used to play badminton with me and my ex and some others, and we ended up hitting it off (platonically!). We’ve been playing a weekly match and then grabbing lunch or dinner for about a year now. He has a girlfriend who I’ve met.
He admitted told me he has strong feelings for me. This came completely out the blue.
I definitely didn’t have romantic feelings for him prior to this conversation but hearing it has sparked an interest in him that I didn’t know was there ( once I’d had time to think after he told me).
Nothing has happened between us (either before or since his confession) but it feels very different when we spend time together.
We don’t talk about it a ton, we’ve pretty much carried on as normal - playing badminton and then going to the pub and just chatting about random stuff.
Now it just kind of hangs out there though, like the elephant in the room. When we have broached the subject, he’s just said he’s very confused as he and his girlfriend just bought a house together, but he knows something isn’t right in their relationship and that his feelings for me are very strong. We really don’t talk about it much though.
Despite the fact nothing physical has happened, there’s no doubt that there‘s a shift in the dynamic now (hard to articulate, it’s like an energy between us, maybe?).
All that said, I’m not overwhelmed with it, or determined that we have to be together. I don’t want to rip his clothes off or elope into the sunset. But I have realised I no longer see him as just a friend.
I don’t really know what to do though. It’s been quite easy over the summer as I’m a teacher so I was off work and travelling for most of it so wasn’t seeing him as much.
I feel like once September comes around though and we’re back to weekly matches, something is going to have to change.
If he weren’t a friend, I know the obvious answer would be to remove myself from the situation entirely unless he leaves his GF, but that’s very hard to do. We also can’t carry on as normal indefinitely though, pretending it was never said.