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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Splitting transport costs?

30 replies

SleepyHollowed84 · 24/08/2023 18:53

Girlfriends weekend away in a cottage in the North York Moors. 5 of us. Been booked for ages.

Two (inc. me) will be travelling from SW London during the day (booked as annual leave), involving a national rail train and tube to Kings X, 2 hour train to York, then a 30 minute cab to the cottage.

Three will be driving after work in one car from Leeds, which takes roughly an hour. They can't pick us up from the station as we (from London) have volunteered to meet cottage owners and manage at 4.

The location was picked as there was some debate about where is fairest to go/where everyone's preferences are, and after some deliberation, we settled on North York Moors. I have no doubt it will be lovely, but this is the third time we have done a weekend away in the North rather than choosing somewhere south. It keeps involving rather arduous journeys for two of us and a relatively easy car journey for the other three.

The train and cab for both of us from London is costing us both each about £60. I appreciate gas is expensive but I doubt it will be costing the drivers that much.

AIBU to suggest we split total costs of transport between the 5 of us, so accomodation and transport is split evenly? Should I just cut my losses again and demand a break on the Kent coast next year?

Any help welcome as I don't want to ruin the weekend by being stingy.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 24/08/2023 18:55

I wouldnt ask to split travel costs, but I would ask if they can go early to meet the owners then pick you up instead of a 30 min taxi

Then alternate it so you’re in the Cotswolds or somewhere next year, middle ground between you all

YouHoooo · 24/08/2023 18:56

YABU, and a bit petty as £60 isn’t much in the context of a holiday cottage.

Next time you go away just say that it’s time you went somewhere south.

junebirthdaygirl · 24/08/2023 18:58

When we do this we do rotate
So long journey this year means we are going nearer to you next year. We never have to ask for that . It's just an unwritten rule. But l wouldn't be asking to share transport costs at this stage as it will put a damper on the whole weekend as everything is already arranged. We take turns to book so maybe you be in charge of booking next year. Meanwhile just go and enjoy the break and stop dwelling on the price of it.

Clarey82 · 24/08/2023 18:58

No they shouldn’t have to pay your travel expenses and your probably all benefiting from the accommodation being much cheaper than it would be down south

Clymene · 24/08/2023 19:03

You agreed to the weekend knowing how much it was going to cost you to get there.

I'm sure you could suggest a meet up on the Kent coast next time but it would probably cost you that much to get there too Grin

Oakdog · 24/08/2023 19:03

Definitely make sure you're somewhere easy for you next time.

As an aside, if you're meeting someone at 4 it will take longer than 30 minutes to get to anywhere in the North York Moors from York Station.

Gliomes · 24/08/2023 19:05

Pay your own transport but push for meeting down south next time

Oysterbabe · 24/08/2023 19:11

No you can't ask that. Your travel costs are your problem. Can't you drive with the other girl?

Notsoadmirablecrichton · 24/08/2023 19:18

I highly recommend the Peak District for your next meet up or other midlands venue.
No you can’t ask to split travel costs but agree locals should be collecting the key and collecting you.

SM4713 · 24/08/2023 19:27

I agree with a poster above- get the 3 of them to got earlier and meet the owners, and then come to collect you from the station!

No- I wouldn't expect the travel costs to be split 5 ways, when you have agreed on the destination! Why didn't you push for somewhere South this time instead of settling for North again???

Next year, I'd agree on a midlands/southern area.

Genevieva · 24/08/2023 19:37

That's a friendship damaging idea. It might be that this is indicative of you all drifting apart, but next time insist on somewhere down south that you want to go for something a bit different - Southwold or Weymouth... or maybe somewhere you can all get a cheap flight to in Europe.

mrsm43s · 24/08/2023 19:47

Of course no one else apart from you is responsible for your own travel costs!
Nor are they responsible for picking you up from the station!

In future, don't agree to things that you are not happy to do!

I assume that since they have a car there and you don't, they will be responsible for driving on any days out you do, or if you need to go and get any provisions etc.

I would also assume that someone other than you did the bulk of the arrangements and organising, since it's not somewhere that would be your first choice. Next time, why don't you volunteer to do the bulk of the work - researching cottages, liaising with owners, collecting funds and forwarding payment etc,and then you'll have more ability to steer the options more to your convenience. TBH, with 2 in London and 3 in Leeds, the fairest location would be north of London, but south of Leeds, surely. Shropshire or Lincolnshire might fit the bill?

TrustMyArse · 24/08/2023 19:50

Just meet the owner later on? You can't expect them to pay your travel when you agreed to travel there.

BodegaSushi · 24/08/2023 19:55

Um yeah, YABU. Instead of finding the balls to ask them to pay for your travel, find them to protest yet another trip up north and don't go on them.

iolaus · 24/08/2023 19:56

Completely missing the point here - but why 'fairest for everyone' even more north than the Northerners? (if they are all coming from Leeds) - surely something like the Peak district if you want a national park would make more sense, or Leicester-y way?

felisha54 · 24/08/2023 19:59

No I don't think you can ask to spilt travel. £60 is a bargain too.

Butterflyfluff · 24/08/2023 20:02

YABU - I would feel like a complete twat asking to split travel costs.

The train from Kings Cross to York is a piece of cake - it barely stops anywhere else.

Shinyandnew1 · 24/08/2023 20:10

I think you need to communicate with each other better in future about what you want.

You not meeting the owners at 4, so that they could pick you up from the station would make more sense. Most holiday places have key boxes.

Booking somewhere between the South and Leeds to stay in would make sense more than going even further north than Leeds.

rookiemere · 24/08/2023 20:12

You can't ask to split travel costs, that would sound ridiculous.
I don't know why you volunteered to do the check in if you need a taxi to get there. Couldn't you just push back the time, get picked up by the others and all arrive together?

rookiemere · 24/08/2023 20:13

Also do you have a car ? If so why not drive it, if not then you're already saving loads by not having the general running costs of one.

Autieangel · 24/08/2023 20:16

I wouldn't ask to split the transport but I would say down south next time

Hufflepods · 24/08/2023 20:16

Any help welcome as I don't want to ruin the weekend by being stingy.

Then don’t. It’s no one else’s fault you don’t drive.
The cost to drivers is isn’t just petrol, it’s the car itself, lessons, tax, mot costs, insurance.

Parky04 · 24/08/2023 20:24

I'm impressed it only costs £60! No, I wouldn't ask to split it.

ThePoshUns · 24/08/2023 20:24

Gosh no don't ask!

Doggymummar · 24/08/2023 20:27

That's a bargain train, it cost me £250 last week Brighton to York and a 5 min taxi was £11.25