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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help me get out of this negative cycle

2 replies

IneedHelp2023 · 24/08/2023 17:50

Isnt really an AIBU, posting here for traffic

My 8 year old turns everything into a negative and it's really starting to get to me now. I'm sat in the garden trying to calm down because I'm actually so angry its unbelievable

Yesterday we went on a family day out to an activity centre. DD CHOSE to go on several climbing/slide things then every single time, held up the queue, crying saying she didnt want to do it. Not a problem, come down then. No, she doesnt want to come down, she wants to sit at the top and cry and cause a scene. Why not just come down the steps? It's not a fear of heights she went up and down several of them with no issue at all.

Today, took her swimming. She cannot swim. Takes her swim vest off in the middle of the pool and then starts crying getting angry at me when I make her put it back on, because she CANNOT swim. Told her she can either put it back on or get out and she chose to get out, crying on the side of the pool looking around to see if anyone was looking at her

Weve come home, all their toys are still all over the front room, ask for their help and she starts crying claiming she doesnt know where anything goes. Their her own toys, take them to your room?

At school, she is constantly crying about her work when she doesnt want to do it, threatens to kill herself then gets took into a special room where she doesnt have to do her room and gets lots of sympathy ect

We had a family worker last year who said to ignore it and I do so she doesnt threaten to kill herself at home anymore, but she does at school

It's like every interaction is negative or met with negativity.

I tell her so many positive things about herself, I tell her how kind she is, how fun she is, how much i love her, shes beautiful ect and every single day its met with negativity

It might be because it's the school holidays and I've had enough now, but every single interaction is just turned into a negative. I'm sick of it. Absolutely sick of it.

Shes awaiting an assessment for ADHD which I do think she has as is diagnosed in January.

I'm at my wits end. This post in itself probably seems very negative, but I try very hard to make sure my house is positive, calm and happy and she is just constantly turning anything and everything into a negative. I dont know what to do anymore.

How do I stop this negative attention seeking?

I have another DC who lives with us and they are the complete opposite. Such a happy go lucky character, such positive self esteem. I dont know where it's gone so wrong with her?

I sat here angry and upset now because I just dont understand why she is like this and why she seems to enjoy the negative so much? Why does everything have to turn into a feel sorry for me fest?

I dont want to be upset and angry at my own child. This isnt why I became a mum. This isnt fun at all and i just dont know what to do anymore

OP posts:
BlueBlubbaWhale · 24/08/2023 17:54

One of mine can be like this op and it is draining. It's got better as they've got older. They have asd, demand avoidance and I suspect also adhd. It's generally anxiety related.

IneedHelp2023 · 24/08/2023 18:03

BlueBlubbaWhale

Is there anything you did that made it better? I'm finding this so difficult, she just seems to get worse and worse each year that goes by.

I grew up with really poor self esteem, an ED & undiagnosed ADHD and I've tried to do everything I can think of to make sure my children dont grow up feeling like I did. I dont know how to make it stop?

She can be so confident in things she can enjoy, she has no issue getting up infront of strangers to sing and dance, she can make friends easily when we go to places, shes so funny and so quick witted. And she can be so so kind and thoughtful.

But this awful, negative attention think makes me feel ill, it stresses me out so much. I just want her to be happy and to love herself

OP posts:
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