I’m so upset.
My husband and I have been TTC for 16 months with no success. After a very late period, I felt so hopeful, but it turned out to just be another negative test. My husband’s brother, who’s 2 years younger, is expecting a baby with his girlfriend, which they have been very open about in how easy they were to convince. I’m absolutely thrilled for them but I can’t help but feel heartbroken that it isn’t me, and it feels so unfair to hear all about an accidental pregnancy when I’m doing everything I can to get pregnant. So many close friends are also pregnant, and last night was a particularly heavy night of hearing, ‘we weren’t even trying, I’m so shocked’, from so many different people. Once home, I broke down. My husband asked what was wrong (he was out with me), and after I explained, he put his arm around me for about 2 minutes then got up and went on his Xbox. I was still crying and asked him if we could do something together, and he responded by saying he wants to play Xbox by himself. I reacted by getting up and telling him I’m going to bed then, and then he got annoyed and said I was ruining his evening by making him feel like he can’t play on his Xbox. I told him he can play on his Xbox, but that I thought he would have wanted to do something together. He said that I shouldn’t use my heartache to guilt him into getting my own way. He then put his Xbox back on and I went upstairs to bed. I sobbed because I just felt like he didn’t care about me and I felt sad because of the complete lack of comfort. He could hear me crying but didn’t come up to bed until 2am (he started his game at 9.30pm).
when he finally came to bed, he asked me why I was upset, so I had to re-explain how down I feel about not being able to get pregnant. I told him I feel so alone when most women in my life are currently pregnant, and I feel like my life is on standstill. He then asked why I’m so upset with him because ‘it’s not my (his) fault you can’t get pregnant’. I explained I’m upset with him because he didn’t comfort me, and chose to sit there and play Xbox knowing his wife was in tears. He said he did comfort me because he put his arm around me. That was for 2 minutes and he stopped doing it to play even though I was still crying. He said he wanted to play Xbox and it’s selfish of me to expect him to not do what he wants to do.
This morning, he got up early to take our puppy out for the toilet. He then got ready and went out with his friends for a few hours. During this time, I watched our puppy, took our older dog out for an hour long walk, then took our puppy out for a 20 minute walk (our older dog pulls so much it’s impossible to walk them together by yourself). I then did work in our garden, cleaned the downstairs of our house, and made us both lunch. He came home and had his lunch then proceeded to lie on the floor with the dogs whilst all the plates, pans, and bowls were in the sink. I asked if he could help me with the dishes which he did. He then followed up by telling me to put all the dishes away because he’s washed them and it’s not fair if he washes and dries. I then pointed out all of the things I’d done whilst he was out and he said, ‘well I got up early with the puppy and you didn’t’. I normally get up early with the puppy. He also said I should have done the dishes because I made the lunch and therefore used the dishes and he didn’t. I’m now sat upstairs really upset whilst he’s sat downstairs. I just feel like he’s been so selfish yesterday and today. But I’m still really sensitive from last night. He also hasn’t asked me once how I am today.
am I being unreasonable or has he been quite selfish?