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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Cracking under this pressure

7 replies

Desperatetime · 24/08/2023 06:52

My dp is from another country where the living standards can be poor with people on the poverty line extremely poor wages but cost of living is rising etc etc.
The circumstances of his relatives can be awful at times with not enough money to pay thier way or even enough to travel to work.
Now I don't think I'm a mean horrible person me and dp have our own place to run and cost of living has hit us hard I also have a uncertain future with been stuck in rental me and dp are only on minimum wages and I have health issues I'm.also supporting my ds a little through university I'm also trying to clear some debt.
The issue is his relatives are always asking for help financially abd if they are not directly asking they are sharing all of thier financial problems with dp making him feel awful and guilty if he can't help and some people there are chatting rubbish about him.
Please I'm.torn between our needs and thiers and feel like I could crack with it all.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 24/08/2023 06:53

This won’t change so you need to decide if you want a lifetime of it with him.

Desperatetime · 24/08/2023 07:06

I've tried to advise dp on ways to deal with it I don't want us to split up but I need to look after us.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 24/08/2023 07:07

Desperatetime · 24/08/2023 07:06

I've tried to advise dp on ways to deal with it I don't want us to split up but I need to look after us.

You need to prioritise your self financially.

HamishTheCamel · 24/08/2023 07:11

It sounds like your finances are separate so you can step back from this and let your DP deal with this.

Desperatetime · 24/08/2023 07:12

DustyLee123
Thank you for your input I just feel bad I don't want to keep parting with hard-earned money on others when I have my own issues to sort out.

OP posts:
Desperatetime · 24/08/2023 07:12

HamishTheCamel
No because I deal with everything

OP posts:
AppleTurnovers1212 · 24/08/2023 07:21

DH is also from another country where it would have be common to repatriate the money back to poorer relatives. I left it over my head for as long as financially possible, we both worked, once we had children of our own he could see that our financial needs had to come above any one else's, without me saying a thing. Every so often something will go back to MIL but that's OK.

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