Am I being unreasonable to not want to help parents?

[candyblue]

I have a rocky relationship with my parents and now that they have retired they are expecting help of myself and my siblings.

I was neglected from the age of 5.

All my baby teeth rotted due to not having a toothbrush.

I had to look after my younger brother when I was 10 and cooked for him whilst we would be left alone after school as parents would be at work.

My mum could of of taken a morning shift but chose not to for whatever reason.

We had to learn to cook for visitors and every time visitors came we would have to make them tea and prepare food. All this under 16.

When I misbehaved as kids do my mum would tell me she wished I died at birth.

We would be hit and verbally sworn at if we were naughty.

I was thrown out of home when I was 18, never once came too see me.

When I was raped at 20 and had a black eye my mum told me not to visit them as she didnt want other family members knowing or seeing my black eye.

When I was stranded in the US with an abusive partner the US police called my Dad and he hung up saying “I had made my choices in life”.
Even the US police officers were shocked.

My parents have not changed and show no remorse for how they abused me and my siblings.
They try and tell me what to do and how I should be living my life, they offer no practical advice and I find it very stressful dealing with them.

Their actions really affected me in later life, I really struggled but I am in a much better place now, but it hasnt been easy.

I dont even know why I still remain in contact with them.

I just cant help feeling bitter at the thought of helping them in their later years or feeling as if why should I help them?

Am I being unreasonable?

Our parents should love us.
You owe them nothing.

@candyblue

You owe these people nothing (can hardly call them "parents" as it seems they did very little parenting). Less than a beggar in the street as they neglected and deserted you when you really needed them to at least acknowledge and live up to their responsibility for you as their child.

I would definitely go NC with them (no need to announce it, just do it. Cut off all their access to you via social media (tighten up your account generally but block them everywhere), block them on your mobile and landline. Mark their emails as junk and then clear your junk mail folder regularly without reading their messages).

Get yourself a ring/camera doorbell so you can see if they approach your door.

Be consistent and don't allow anyone to make you feel guilty about these actions you take to protect your mental health. Perhaps also consider seeing a properly qualified counsellor so you can talk freely with them about what you've been through - talking to your siblings may not be enough. 🌹

You come across as a lovely caring person. Please do the 1 thing your parents have never done and put you first. Don't waste any more of your life on them. They don't deserve anything from you.