I hate my budget holiday

[ValentinaTheVampire]

We have small children to do things on a budget so we tend to do self catering in the UK to avoid paying for flights and also so we aren't all squashed into a hotel room.

But ugh, it has been so miserable this time (we are away at the moment). The weather where we are staying is pretty miserable. We are staying near family where I grew up as we tried to do holiday and family visit in one and I am honestly just counting down the days. I'm so tired from all the driving about and visiting and trying to keep kids entertained in the rain with none of their usual stuff around to help.

The cottages we've had the past few holidays have been so tired looking and even then they are so expensive.

I have a small but perfectly nice house at home. Kids aren't exactly getting a cultural experience here (although they are loving seeing family).

Dh wants to do another holiday cottage for my 40th birthday which is coming up over other school holidays and I've just told him no fucking way 😂.

I'd rather spend the money on my house or save for a nicer holiday even if we don't get one as often.

I can't tell if holidays have got worse or if I have become a that who just likes staying at home.

We had a miserable holiday like this. It put me off bothering for a couple of years. We have a better time and more sleep (and spend less money) doing day trips from home.

To be honest in my experience anyway trying to holiday in the UK or abroad no matter where you go if you're taking young children it's never going to be relaxing coz you're just parenting them still just in a different location which can be even harder when you are somewhere where the weather is unpredictable like the UK. I found when my kids were young going abroad all inclusive was easier just coz we had the sun we always chose places with a waterpark attached to them and hotels that were geared mainly to families of all ages so it is still hard holidaying abroad with young kids but not as hard as trying to do it in the UK. But small kids are hard to deal with anywhere generally that they are out of routine.
I will say it won't last forever this little stage they will soon be older and not even want to holiday with mum and dad then u can start having lovely couple holidays and go in term time when it's cheaper it's all coming u just have to have faith and patience like I said they don't stay little forever. Good luck 🙏

@Ohyousillydivvy and a very nice location too .although possibly jumps the week after as that is the week pre half term if I remember correctly. I am so glad we are beyond needing school holidays- the difference can be staggering. It's probably a bit better for those in Scotland too who have different holiday periods or those at private school who break up much earlier !

YANBU. Holiday cottages UK are boring. Everything depends on the weather. All the kids toys etc are at home. I tend to go for a lodge on a site with swimming pool and evening entertainment. I also book it for 4nights as this makes it cheaper. There are plenty of these smaller sites but I'm not sure they are near your relatives.
With the cost of self catering and days out you would be cheaper looking at all inclusive in Spain.

Have a look at Centre Parcs in Europe as they are more reasonable than U.K. and you get the weather.

When my 3 children were younger we used to go to Haven sites, Parkdeane , Pontins(a lot better back then) and Butlins. Butlins was the biggest grottiest place I’ve ever set foot in!!
we would go away 4 times a year in the school holidays. We also bought our own touring caravan and we’d go away and stay for a majority of the summer holidays and then in the half terms too.
Now it’s just hubby and myself we go abroad 3/4 times a year, we do all inclusive as hubby says I need the breaks after years of holidaying with the children!!
if it rained we just put on wellies and rain coats and would still go to the beach or to the park!
Theres so much you can do regardless of weather

maybe instead of visiting family, tell them if they want to see you they can come and visit you at the place you are staying at

If you are happy to drive we have found going to budget French hotels / camp sites safer option for sunny weather and different things to do if should rain. We spent less than £1500 for a week away with DC aim France

I think the dh enjoying it and wanting more probably isn’t helping. My wife and I are on our second caravan holiday this year at the moment.
we definitely lean on each other in our total exhaustion and ‘why have we done this to ourselves againnnnn’ moments- if she was all jolly hockey sticks about it I would have murdered the lot of them by now! You need someone to say yeah it’s shit but we do it for the kids, here have a brew and a doughnut and it won’t seem so bad!

My kids are grown up but I agree with you about Premier Inn. You know what you are getting and a family room most places would be cheaper than a cottage add in what you aren't spending on shopping and you can eat out and relax.

I think a cottage holiday is fun if there's a big group of you with plenty of kids so they keep themselves occupied while you drink wine relax with your friends.

Big really nice houses in France can be surprisingly good value if you have a large group. Eg something like this would work out about £260 per person if you filled it, and you can drive so much cheaper than flying

Holiday home with private heated pool in France | Manoir de Saux (purefrance.com)

The kids would be in the pool all day!

sorry should have said that is in August

I won't ever do a self catering holiday, big kids or small. I did one and only one recently because friends wanted us to go with them, but never again. They wanted to cook/eat in more so we took it in turns, there was laundry to do and also tidying up and basically what you might do at home. Never again. What is the point of a holiday If you have to cook, clean and do the same as you would at home. And honestly who wants to throw together salads and sandwiches and think that's a holiday. I want to eat nice food that I didn't cook, not clean up , do dishes or anything. I would rather save and save for a long time for and AI holiday than do a self catering.

Is it the difference in generations, @ValentinaTheVampire? Or maybe the difference between the U.K. and the U.S., I don’t know.
I got to go on one vacay when I was a child, when my brother graduated from high school in another state and we traveled there to see him.
My grandparents had a cabin high up in the Sierra Nevada mountains and that’s where we’d always go - it was an hour and a lifetime away from where we lived.
I never thought I was neglected for not being taken on different vacays every year. I guess it’s down to what you know.
Your kids will love you no matter where you are. When they’re older, they’ll appreciate you for doing everything you’ve done for them, whether it’s extravagant or on a budget.

Could you have stayed at home and enjoyed lovely days out for the cost of the holiday?

Definitely @mumda! That's exactly my thoughts. I'd rather have spent the money doing nice things at home. We live on the outskirts of London, so there's loads to do!

Oh well. We were due a visit home anyway, so at least we've done it.

@Ravaged ha! You're right and I'm bringing you with me next time so we can have a gin and cry together 😂

@DreamTheMoors, yes, I'm sure you're right that they won't have hideous memories of it and will hopefully just remember playing with all the cousins and extended family! That part has been worth the trip

I disagree that cottages are always horrible. I research them thoroughly, have saved lists on AirbandB. I won't book anywhere that doesn't look as nice or nicer than our own home. So nowhere with dated decor / leather sofas / grotty bathrooms.

I agree the weather can make or break it though. And the expense of day trips and eating out.

Do city breaks instead, loads cheaper and more to do. We had 4 nights in Liverpool for £300 this year in a gorgeous 2 bedroomed apartment. Had an amazing time going round the museums and exploring the coast and countryside away from the city centre.

I agree that being away with small children is often not much fun.

Weather makes a huge difference.

Beyond that, I honestly think mindset is a big thing. Some people who are camping or staying in a pretty dingy caravan or cottage, will still find they have a good time. Playing on the beach (even in your coat) can be fun and lots of people enjoy walking and doing stuff that doesn’t cost much. They wouldn’t choose to eat out at places which often don’t even serve good food, but would choose to cook at the house/caravan instead….and enjoy it. Some people love to visit family.

But Op clearly you’re not having a good time. Is it particularly because you spent £1500 on the cottage and are disappointed with it? How far in advance did you book? How many did you look at? Clearly, August is peak prices and you always pay a lot but if you book now for next year,you’ll get your pick and the best ones are available. Is it that you and your family like to do stuff which involves lots of expensive days out? I know families who always want to be going to an attraction and having lunch there - easily £150 by the time entry is pay and lunch for all and a couple of drinks. But it depends what your family likes - picnics? Beaches? Eating local fish? You can’t get away without spending something but it doesn’t have to be loads….but it’s all about expectations of what makes a good holiday really.

Would it help if the many family round about gave you an evening off for you and DH to go for a lovely meal? maybe they’d even have them for one night….that would be bliss.

@ValentinaTheVampire I couldn't ageee more. The standard of holiday cottages has declined, its annoying when you pay so much.
We bought timeshare to avoid just that before our DCs came along. I reckon taking all costs into account, no holiday cost more than £700 and we only ever went for 2 weeks at a time. Kerching!

We tend to holiday in the UK and usually find a small cottage or flat in a coastal town or village and look for cheaper day trips, walks and beach visits. I don't need 24/7 sunshine to enjoy myself and I'm convinced the type of holiday I could afford abroad would be tacky and noisy with loads of awful families crowding round one urine filled pool and downing beers all day. Give me a SC place in Wales or Cornwall, some peace and fresh air any day.

In the end, often the reason people choose self catering is because it is cheaper.

If it’s not about money, go to a hotel. Simples.

There are holiday homes and holiday homes. You can pay ££££ for a horrible caravan in a shitty park which is run down. Or you can pay less for a beautiful cottage somewhere else. But you have to put the legwork in…researching the area (some areas simply work loads better than others for holidays….think Dorset cast, Norfolk coast, Devon, lots of Wales etc…certain holiday locations are popular for good reason) and also looking at lots of properties online early on. The perfect holiday doesn’t fall in your lap.

I’m often surprised by the UK destinations people go to….they seem to have randomly stuck a pin in a map and then are disappointed there isn’t much to do. It’s so easy to research lovely places online.

Perhaps the problem is combining family and holiday and trying to do too much all at once. And if it’s your only holiday, sometimes people build it into just too big a thing and have unrealistic expectations of what holidays with small kids will be like.

But then some people just only like their own space too. They see dirt everywhere in someone else’s house and want everything just so and aren’t very flexible and easy-going….doesn’t work so well perhaps for holidays where a bit of being willing to go with the flow…whatever flow you find …is needed.

The U.K. is very expensive at the minute. We spent the same on travel, cottage and food for 5 days in Devon as we did for flights, hotel and spends in New York City for 7 nights.

When the kids were small we did lots of caravan holidays in the UK, but only mon-fri, that's long enough.
I would double cook meals in the months leading upto holiday and effectively take 4 frozen ready meals that just needed heating up and cooking pasta or something easy.
Picnics for lunch and fry ups/cereal/toast for breakfast
Treats out - nice cakes/icecreams/bag of chips
National trust membership (bought with club card vouchers) for days out/walks to keep little ones entertained.
Use facilities/free activities at caravan park in the wet weather.
But yes, it's not really a break with small ones.
Now mine are teens I'm fed up of spending a fortune for them to mope around all day 😆

Well think yourself lucky not had one this year

This is the problem with AirBnB though. Many of us get to a point in our lives where our houses are quite nice! We have a lovely house and we have to spend a bloody fortune to find anything nearly as good as our own house. I'd rather camp than stay in a crap caravan or cottage.