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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Lost holiday photos - can I be annoyed?!

10 replies

balancetheboat · 23/08/2023 18:31

Hi there, would love to get some perspective here... I'm currently on a much anticipated family holiday, the first in ages. Ups and downs but generally going well. My partner and I each have our iphones to take photos on. Last week he dropped his phone smashing the home button. I was worried - obviously most photos of me with our children are taken from his perspective. However the phone seemed to be ok and he said he'd back it up later (spoiler - he didn't).

Since then a further week's worth of photos has been taken, in various beautiful locations, moments I really value and want to remember. I have been taking photos too but generally of him and the children.. he's also the photographer in the family so has been capturing the scenery etc. Every day I have said he needs to back up the phone and he's agreed but then he's forgotten or put it off. A few times I've stopped myself from reminding him more often because he can get annoyed if he feels I'm badgering him.

Of course now the phone is dead and I'm thinking unlikely to be restorable. We can't go back and recreate them on my phone - I know that would be madness (no spontaneity and a lot of driving)! But I'm just gutted! I have loads of photos of him and the children, a few selfies and very few reminders of the epic views we've seen.

He says it's my fault too (I know it is) - I should have reminded him more often, or done it myself. He just keeps throwing it back onto me really, without allowing me any space to be upset.

I know I should be bigger than this. At the end of the day it's not that big a deal. I just put so much effort and time into organising the whole thing and it just really hurts.

Thanks to anyone who reads and responds.

OP posts:
SocialHistoryStereotypes · 23/08/2023 18:41

iCloud backs up photos automatically, is there a chance that is turned on?

Bigparrot · 23/08/2023 18:43

Totally ok to be annoyed and sad. That's not fair on you if he doesn't understand that.
I'm sorry that's happened to your pictures. I'd be absolutely gutted.

I've no idea how you'd go about getting them back - but don't give up on that. Someone with more technical skills might advise you.

If you're still on hols get lots of good ones on the last days. That's all you can do right now. It might still help remember the whole holiday by having pics from the end.

10HailMarys · 23/08/2023 18:46

He says it's my fault too (I know it is) - I should have reminded him more often, or done it myself.

It’s his phone, he took the photos, he dropped it, and he didn’t back it up even though you reminded him every single day. How is it in any way your fault too?!

balancetheboat · 23/08/2023 18:46

SocialHistoryStereotypes · 23/08/2023 18:41

iCloud backs up photos automatically, is there a chance that is turned on?

Thank you @SocialHistoryStereotypes Unfortunately iCloud wasn't turned on.

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NalafromtheLionKing · 23/08/2023 18:49

I would have thought that the phone would be fixable if just the home button is broken and it has been working since being dropped. We have dropped and broken iPads several times but they have always been fixable.

Just use your phone to take photos from now on and take the other phone to a repair shop asap once back.

TequilaNights · 23/08/2023 18:50

It's annoying, but at least you didn't lose the memories when the phone died.

Try to connect it to a computer or take it to a shop when your home, but no use falling out over something that's already happened.

balancetheboat · 23/08/2023 18:58

Thanks everyone.

Yes I will look into a repair shop. It's stuck on the Apple logo and I'm worried it's a hardware issue but hopefully someone can fix and restore.

I don't want to fall out over it but I've been so cross. It's been a busy holiday due to baby chores etc so we're both trying to enjoy it while also feeling pretty knackered all the time. And now my period's arrived early which probably doesn't help my mood. I think it would have been easier if he'd seemed gutted too, rather than fluctuating between being blasé and irritated, both with me and the situation of being away without really having a break (which is obvs how it is with young kids).

OP posts:
SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 23/08/2023 19:00

I don't understand why people, men often, don't realise that a genuine, heartfelt apology is needed. Often, its all that's needed.

EscapeTheCastle · 23/08/2023 19:01

I understand what you mean about photos - as they mean a lot to me too.

I'm sorry your DH didn't back up his photos especially after you reminded him more than once.

My DH makes a blooming song and dance about his photos too, refusing to have auto back up service turned on. Not putting them on the laptop for months and months until I force him to.

From now on you can both have google photos on your phone for automatic backup and or the iphone service that does that.

As others have said above, take the phone somewhere to get the photos restored, you never know, this might work.

In the meantime go crazy with the photos for the rest of the holiday. Try taking snaps of everyday stuff too. One of my fav pics on a big holiday is my DS eating American cereal at breakfast and one of him at the airport.

Good luck with your photos going forward.

balancetheboat · 23/08/2023 19:03

@SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress Yes absolutely this. I know he's upset too but it comes across as just being really annoyed!

OP posts:
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