In love with a man I've never met

[Iknowimanidiotksjdjd]

Name changed for this

I feel so stupid. Met a guy online dating, but we live far from each other - hours apart. We've been speaking for about 2 years but have never met in person.

various reasons for this, I'm a single parent with no other support so don't really get lots of free time - not enough that I could go away to a different city for the weekend etc

he has a very intense job and often has to travel to other countries for work

as I said we've been speaking for over 2 years. In this time we've both dated other people but nothing has ever stuck and always kind of drifted back to each other.

honestly I'm completely head over heels for him, but it's so stupid. How can I feel so strongly for someone I've never met?

I also know that there's no way it would work. My life is here, his life is there, neither of us would be willing to compromise on that. He doesn't want kids, I have kids.
it just couldn't work. But still I can't seem to cut him off, every time he messages I say this is going to be it, I need to cut the cord but I never do.

please give me the kick up the bum I need to stop putting my time and emotions into this situation that isn't going anywhere.

Have you ever watched the 90 Days series on Discovery+ ?

There are couples on there who live in different countries, chat online for years, arrange to meet and marry immediately. Sometimes it even works out!

honestly I'm completely head over heels for him, but it's so stupid. How can I feel so strongly for someone I've never met?

The fact is you don't love him, you love the idea of him because you don't really even know him or his real life.

Indeed.

I have a friend whom I met online (in an educational forum for teachers) in 2005. We finally met in real life in 2008 and have spent quite a few periods of time together every year (except Covid time), visiting each other for a few days at a time.

Online - and in emails - (we still email quite often), she is very different indeed to the way she is in real life. I've adapted to this (and I dare say, she has had to do the same) and we've remained friends but she really, really is not like I thought she was going to be. For example, she's much funnier and more easy-going online - in person, she's not terribly tolerant at all.

Sure, but that's very, very different from what the OP is describing. I have online friends too, but:

a) I don't claim to be 'in love' with them and there is zero romantic interest on any side
b) We didn't meet on a dating site
c) It's clear from their social media whether they have partners or families, and nobody is trying to hide anything
d) The possibility of meeting up has never even occurred to me

My guess is that the man the OP is chatting to is, on one level or another, not the person she thinks he is - either because he's married, or is using fake pictures, or has a life completely different to the one he's described to her. His 'intense job' with lots of travel is a classic excuse used by people in that situation.

OP, how do you chat with this man? Do you just message, or do you video chat? Is he on social media and if so, what are his profiles like?