Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu or is our manager batshit?

34 replies

Funkyslippers · 23/08/2023 09:07

All staff meeting at work yesterday in the large theatre where there is tiered seating. On the way in a colleague said to me that our manager told the team in the morning meeting (I wasn't there as I start later) that we shouldn't sit in the back row. I was bemused by this and as we entered the theatre by the back door and saw the back row was empty around 4 of us just sat there anyway. Just then the manager came over and said "how many times have I told you NOT TO SIT IN THE BACK ROW!!!" She also said it's been "noted" that we always sit there (not true, I've never sat there before and this is only the 2nd meeting we've had there in a few months). Myself and another colleague told her she hadn't told us at all and we all were quite taken aback by it. She then said "I'm your manager! I've asked you not to sit there!" I heard a couple of my colleagues mumble something to her and she then said "oh just do what you like!!!" And stormed off down near the front. I should say we can hear perfectly well from the back and our team were spread out in many different areas of the theatre. Aibu to think I'm a grown woman and can sit where the hell I like and but she should at least make sure everyone gets the message if she wants us to do something? Staff from other departments were also sitting on the back row

OP posts:
DrManhattan · 23/08/2023 09:10

Is she shit at her job so she does these 'powers moves' but just ends up looking like a nob anyways?

WhateverMate · 23/08/2023 09:10

It's better for all concerned if you're all sitting fairly close-ish surely?

My hearing isn't wonderful in my left ear and besides it's just a bit easier all round if everyone's not dotted about.

Stompythedinosaur · 23/08/2023 09:10

This is not a battle worth fighting. Just sit where you're asked.

Being stroppy about wanting to sit at the back makes you sound like a teenager.

Sssudio · 23/08/2023 09:14

That's a bit of a nob move if I know she'd asked you (the collective you) to not sit they're not you did anyway.

It's quite dispiriting when you're taking to a group of people in a large space if they're all at the back.

There clearly is more going on if you did this to spite her but I'd question why you did this on purpose

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 23/08/2023 09:15

It makes no difference if we're sat together as we all see and hear the same presentation. Nobody's really dotted around as most of the seats are taken all over the theatre when there's an all staff meeting

OP posts:
Original poster
Funkyslippers · 23/08/2023 09:17

Maybe I didn't explain it well but the theatre was pretty full, it wasn't like we were sat at the back with empty rows near the front! All the rows were full

OP posts:
Ella31 · 23/08/2023 09:17

I find it weird that after a colleague said to you that she requested you not to sit there, you did anyway. I'd say the manager felt like a fool.

ilovemydogmore · 23/08/2023 09:18

I'm with you OP. It's such a stupid request, you're a professional adult not a child in assembly. Sit where you like.

WhateverMate · 23/08/2023 09:22

Ok so if the theatre was pretty full, why did no-one ask her why it mattered if people sat on the back row?

I agree with PPs, you mention being a grown woman, yet you're coming across as rather childish.

NeedTheSeaside · 23/08/2023 09:25

Maybe amongst management there's a feeling of 'shirkers sit in the back row' & she didn't want her team there.

i think it's a bit batshit without explanation.

i think as you weren't at the meeting because you start late, she (rightly) assumed a co worker would tell you.

i think it was a fuck move to sit there when she'd asked you not to. Even if it was busy, I'm sure there were 4 seats elsewhere.

or maybe there was a warning of a firing squad & they'd been warned the back row would be taken out?!

GasPanic · 23/08/2023 09:26

It's actually best to try to keep the back row free if you are early.

Reason being people who come in late to the presentation can slip into the back row with the minimum amount of disturbance. Often this can be senior management who are delayed for various reasons.

For the same reason if you come in late you should always try to sit at the back and also shift along the seats so that other people can sit there, not block off the entire row by sitting at the end.

Maybe next time ask her why. I'm a 50:50 on this. On the one hand she may be acting a bit like a control freak. On the other it sounds like you are deliberately trying to antagonise her by doing something she has specifically asked you not to do (for whatever reason).

And if she is your manager you will probably find you are supposed to comply with reasonable requests.

Utereusbegone · 23/08/2023 09:43

GasPanic · 23/08/2023 09:26

It's actually best to try to keep the back row free if you are early.

Reason being people who come in late to the presentation can slip into the back row with the minimum amount of disturbance. Often this can be senior management who are delayed for various reasons.

For the same reason if you come in late you should always try to sit at the back and also shift along the seats so that other people can sit there, not block off the entire row by sitting at the end.

Maybe next time ask her why. I'm a 50:50 on this. On the one hand she may be acting a bit like a control freak. On the other it sounds like you are deliberately trying to antagonise her by doing something she has specifically asked you not to do (for whatever reason).

And if she is your manager you will probably find you are supposed to comply with reasonable requests.

It depends on the layout though. For the ones I've been in the doors are near the front so it would be exceptionally obvious if someone came in late and had to go up the stairs past everyone to the back row

OP I think someone needs to ask her why she issued this diktat in the first place, and remind her that not everyone was in the meeting

GeorgiaGirl52 · 23/08/2023 09:48

Back row is typically for those who are late in and first out. In otherwise, shirkers who are uninterested in the presentation. Makes you look bad, makes your group look bad and makes your manager look bad.

Sosotiredineedsleep · 23/08/2023 09:56

I used to be a lecturer. There's nothing worse than the back row groups! They usually sit there because they are trying to be cool/difficult/defiant/whatever..., they usually don't want to listen to what's said or are planning an early exit. People sitting all spread out makes it hard to speak direct to the audience.

On occasions I asked those at the back to come down towards the front so I could see them and feel they were involved and listening, and to make my job easier.

In a packed lecture hall obviously some people will need to be at the back, but when there's space the interested and conscientious will go to the front.

If a manager asked you to go to the front, just go to the front.

You sound like my back row students OP, and they acted more like 14 yr olds than responsible adults.

GasPanic · 23/08/2023 10:02

Utereusbegone · 23/08/2023 09:43

It depends on the layout though. For the ones I've been in the doors are near the front so it would be exceptionally obvious if someone came in late and had to go up the stairs past everyone to the back row

OP I think someone needs to ask her why she issued this diktat in the first place, and remind her that not everyone was in the meeting

Show quote history

Some only have entrances at the front.

But I've never seen anthing that would be described as a "large theatre" that only has entrances at the front.

Anyway, surely this is a case of picking your battles. If you wind up your manager like this you are going to end up being in the firing line when she has a chance to return the favour.

If you are going to fight/piss off your manager maybe worth doing it over something that is actually important.

SherbetDips · 23/08/2023 10:05

You all sound like a bunch of children.

Moveoverdarlin · 23/08/2023 10:06

As I say to my 4 year old…why can’t you just do as your told? She probably felt a total dick, she asks her team to do something, they ignore her and call her batshit. No I don’t think she’s being unreasonable, maybe she doesn’t want to shout, maybe she can’t see you that well if you’re sat on the back row, anyway it’s not for her to explain. She asked, you ignored. You won.

TeenLifeMum · 23/08/2023 10:08

The fact you were told manager had asked people not to sit in the back row and you still did says more about you and your attitude than your manager. People tend to “hide” in the back row and she wants everyone engaged. Her rant was probably because she’s exasperated as you don’t seem to respect her. Surely as a grown woman, if you’re asked to sit anywhere but the back row, you can figure that out?

BIossomtoes · 23/08/2023 10:12

ilovemydogmore · 23/08/2023 09:18

I'm with you OP. It's such a stupid request, you're a professional adult not a child in assembly. Sit where you like.

She’s not behaving like a professional adult. Thank goodness I no longer have to manage people like this.

booksandbrooks · 23/08/2023 10:16

YABU. Why would you you deliberately ignore a really basic instruction for your manager? How does this help anything at all? I just don't understand tbh.

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 23/08/2023 10:16

Nobody hides in the back row, it wasn't an interactive session, we just had to sit and listen

OP posts:
forgotmyusername1 · 23/08/2023 10:18

I am a mum of a 10 yr old and a 7 yr old
there is nothing more infuriating then asking someone to do something and they just ignore you

she wasn't asking for anything outrageous and you all just stuck two fingers up at her and ignored her

why if you knew she had asked you all not to sit in the back row did you do it anyway?

Original poster
Funkyslippers · 23/08/2023 10:20

I think I'm just annoyed at the way she spoke to us and raised her voice in front of other members of staff instead of politely reminding us. Th colleague who told me actually thought she was joking

OP posts:
ChimneyPotter · 23/08/2023 10:21

Yeah just do as your manager asks OP. Why not? Work is a bit of give and take, and more give when you're junior.

I have to use certain formats on Word/Excel on internal documents for one particular manager. She just wants things in that way. It's a 3 second click each time. It's kind of annoying as it's just for her, and well - she could reformat it herself - but she's senior to me, and even collectively a 3 second click each week isn't a lot of time for me.

Just sit where you are asked to sit - there's some back story to this you're not aware of about engagement levels in these meetings - whether real or perceived - and you're just causing unnecessary tension and stress. We could all do without that. Yeah, your manager could be less controlling. But it's not one to kick up about, save that for the real ones.

FOJN · 23/08/2023 10:22

Christ are you all teenagers? Your manager wasn't very professional but honestly sitting in the back row with your mates in direct defiance of her request is so childish I'd have been exasperated with you too. Grow the fuck up, it's work.

Swipe left for the next trending thread