Podiatry for exH girlfriend

[CandyLeBonBon]

I've just had a conversation with my dd (14). Her dad has chosen to stop contact with her (an entire other thread so won't detail here but it's his choice to stop talking to/seeing her), and one conversation led to another tonight, which has prompted my AIBU.

Exh has a girlfriend (together about 7 years ish). We have been separated/divorced since 2009.

She doesn't have kids.

Tonight's convo with dd led to her telling me ex dh's gf made her do full on podiatry sessions - ie scraping off old skin/sloughing off heels/scraping dead nails off her feet/nails etc generally sorting out grim feet (so not just painting toenails).

I was quite shocked that a woman who really only spends a limited time with her partner's kids thinks that getting an 8/9 year old to scrape out her feet is a bit odd?

I've never asked any of my kids to do that for me and I would never have thought to ask that of my partner's daughter but I can't work out if I'm weird for thinking that, or if I should just get the fuck over myself? (I'm not suggesting anything untoward by the way, just that getting your partner's preteen who you don't see that often, to scrape out your crabby feet feel a bit weird).

What do you think?

Oh Lord, I thought you meant your daughter’s feet. That can’t have been pleasant for her. She’s better off out of it!

No! ExH gf got my daughter to do it on her feet!

How gross! Basically making your daughter her unpaid chiropodist (sp?)

Yeah. I mean nail painting I get, but apparently she had this whole kit which dd had to use to get all the dead skin off etc.

Eww! Yeah that’s gross and weird! What do you mean by made her? Would she have been in trouble if she refused?
Agree she’s better off out of it

I get the impression her dad would've made her feel guilty it'd she hadn't done it

Crikey I am nursing an ingrown toenail and soaking with Epsom Salts 😳Am on holiday soon and cannot imagine asking my adult daughter to paint my toenails!!
She needs to say NO !

She was 8/9 at the time. Her dad hasn't been in touch for over a year so safe to say it's not happening now

Fucking hell, not normal.

Your exH gf sounds like a nasty manky bitch.

Your daughter will be better off without her shitty dad who allowed his gf to treat like that in her life.

Is she from a culture where turning children into maids is normal?

As someone who has no kids, (her not me) could she have perhaps thought this was a nice thing to do? Lots of children like to play with hair, paint nails etc. My own dd used to love painting my toes and putting cream on them. Maybe she thought it would be a way of bonding between them?

Or maybe she was a skank, only she knows the real reason. It’s not worth letting it bother you almost 5 years on, she’s not worth the headspace.

I would from now on teach my child to resist and tell about anyone who has invited them to touch any part of their body for any reason.

Good opportunity for your child to learn about boundaries, when in doubt say “no”.

I only found out about it the other day so it hasn't been taking up headspace. My dd mentioned that it had bothered her. And I thought I'd come on here and ask opinions. Personally I think there's a big difference between painting nails and getting a (then) 9 year old to scrape dead skin from your feet!

Yeah, that’s a bit grim. I would do DH’s maybe but wouldn’t do anyone else’s. I wouldn’t trust the children to do mine. Or DH.