To quit my job?

[laneyc]

Currently pregnant with second and thinking realistically how I would go back to work after maternity leave. We couldn't afford to put the new baby in nursery whilst I worked full time and the demands of current role means the chances of me going part time are really difficult. Was already told when I took the new role that I'd have to increase my working hours, which I did as luckily we had parents to help us out with childcare for our first DS. This time we won't be able to rely on them; they are getting older and I feel it's a burden for them to help as much as they have been doing.

My son has ASD and I've been thinking about not returning to work and instead being a carer for him/SAHM. I've wanted to be there for him as much as possible as he does have high needs and I've found it impossible at times whilst working full time. And that will be even harder with another DC.

I think we would be entitled to UC, my partner earns £24k so not much really in comparison to others.

Am I being stupid in wanting to do this? I'm trying to think of absolutely everything before I make any decisions. If I did do it, would it be better to leave before maternity leave starts also?

I feel so stuck and just don't know what to do!

Not married?
Nope

Your partner can give up work or you both work part time - better that way as you are less exposed to the loss of one job and both build up a pension.

What can you retrain in to earn more money? I'd make that a medium term goal. Same for your partner, whose earnings are also very low.

Is there any way you would be able to return from maternity pay on a very part time basis to avoid having to repay your enhanced maternity leave pay. Once you have been back at work for the required time, you could then resign? When I had my daughter, I had to return to work for three months to avoid having to repay my maternity pay and with the annual leave I had accrued whilst I was off, and reducing my hours to two days per week, I only actually had to work for about six days before I resigned.

Exactly what everyone is saying, you're unprotected. Your DP could leave you at any time and you'd be a single unemployed mother of 2. All he would have to contribute would be child maintenance, which on a £20K something a year salary would be next to nothing. How would you house your kids? It's not just yourself you would make vunerable. Say you stay at home 5 years - thats 5 years of experience, promotions, pension contributions, NI contributions towards state pension etc you'd miss.

Sounds like you've made your mind up to me.

Considering your incomes are relatively low I'd have thought you'd be entitled to some UC towards your childcare fees? Have you done the calculator to see?

Have you done a benefits calculator to see if you’d be entitled to UC with you both working full time. The threshold of what they pay towards childcare has increased significantly.

You can use UC childcare help and funded hours at the same time.
Definitely apply for it whilst you are on maternity at least.

With a dc with ASD your dilemma isn't just 'financial', it can be incredibly difficult to maintain a FT job and cope with all the additional pressures this will place on you and your DP - specifically school and school holiday childcare - not even factoring in the new baby (congratulations btw).

Just an absurdity to note with UC and Carers Allowance. Although UC will add a premium for caring for a disabled dc, this premium is less than Carers Allowance and they will deduct £ for £ any Carers Allowance you receive and call it "unearned income". (insulting or what!"). If it was regarded as 'earned income' then it would be subject to the UC earnings taper and not deducted £ for £.

Thanks everyone I'm really thankful for all of the responses. I haven't made my mind up yet but just wasn't sure of what other options there are.

I suppose a good place to start is by speaking to my employer to see if it would be possible to do part time. I'm thinking perhaps 3 days a week and maybe looking at a child minder for at least 2 of the days whilst we both work and seeing if our parents would help with the remaining day.

Are childminders cheaper than nurseries? Although not sure if we would be entitled to UC with me working 3 days a week?

This. Please please consider getting married if you are going to stop working. You have no legal protection if you split, unmarried. At least married you'd have certain entitlements.

Universal credits would pay a large portion of your childcare costs unless you are both on very high salary’s which it doesn’t sound like you are.

I personally think you’d be mad as a box of frogs to give up career progression, pension contributions, savings etc to rely on a man and benefits which can be taken from you anytime leaving you royally fucked.

I wouldn't leave until after maternity leave has ended. If you're concerned you could always use the SMP part of maternity money but keep the enhanced aside in case you did leave and need to pay back. It would also give you some idea on if you can live on just your partners wage as UC wouldn't be be much different to SMP amount wise.

There are a lot of benefits to staying home with your children especially if you're not giving up a high paying role or looking at losing career progression.

Op, I’ll advice you not to give up on your job now. Also, as you’re not sure you’ll return, save the enhanced pay they give you for now till you make a decision. As your current job only pays 21k, that’s not enough money to stay with an employer that offers no flexibility, no part time work or work life balance. Towards the end of maternity leave, get yourself to aggressively look for a better job, it does not have to pay more but at least, it should be one that offers some flexibility

Personally I worked it out before planning for child number two and whether we could afford a second child.

Except in my case I ended up with twins, so I went back to work 2 days a week and ended up with £20 a week after petrol which was a nightmare but it meant I kept my job that I loved.

I'd do maternity but opt NOT to take the extra maternity pay, that way you won't have to pay it back.

Could you not look for a different job that has different hours so you don't have to pay for child care?

Or pay for child care for the older one and have family look after the younger one?

Just a minor correction here - the person claiming child benefit will get NI contributions covered until the youngest child is 12. (I wouldn't be surprised if that age limit were brought down in the future, but I imagine it will stay in place for pre-schoolers.)

@laneyc do a calculation based on the figures of full time/part time and 2 children in childcare. If you rent you may be surprised at the amount you can get.

there are some people that don’t apply because they presume they’re not entitled then kick themselves because they could claim something. Even if it’s £100-£200 a month it will make a difference.