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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Restarting contact

5 replies

DramaLamaaa · 22/08/2023 18:39

ex hasn’t seen 1.5 year old in over a year. We had a falling out and things were quite hostile and he was doing things that weren’t safe for the baby so contact stopped (apparently he’s clean now). He reached out last week and said his elderly dad was in hospital and asked if he could take our child to visit him in hospital as he may not see him again. I agreed, dropped our son off and waited in the car park. Tried to make handover as calm as possible and there were very few tears and apparently he settled very quickly. The visit lasted an hour and when I went in to collect my son, ex had asked me if he could start seeing him regularly which I agreed to.

He messaged me the next day to thank me for allowing contact to resume and I replied saying it’s fine but we need to talk about contact going forward and to let me know when suits to talk about things - this was 3 days ago and I haven’t heard anything from him.

am I being unreasonable thinking that he should be making a bit more of an effort with our son considering he has been absent most of his life? I understand that his dad is ill but he is still going to work and active on social media. Doesn’t take much to text me back.

OP posts:
Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 22/08/2023 18:41

Ime seek legal advice. Why were you so quick to believe he is now clean? Aren't druggies great liars?

DramaLamaaa · 22/08/2023 18:42

@Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand yeah I know 🤦‍♀️ I also heard from friends that he stopped a while ago

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Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand · 22/08/2023 18:49

Is it worth the risk? He can convince a judge imo. Does he pay cms? A court would be keen to hear if he is supporting his dc.. And if not why not. Dc aren't pay per view but show a level of commitment which should be seen before he is messing a dc about contact wise...

DramaLamaaa · 22/08/2023 18:53

@Cloudsandrainnotsunandsand hes on and off with payments, still hasn’t paid for the past 3 weeks and cms are so slow at chasing him! I understand dcs aren’t pay per view which is why I allowed it, it’s just boiling my piss now that me and my son are being messed about! Am I wrong in thinking he should de making more of an effort considering he’s ‘desperate to have a relationship’ with his DS??

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DramaLamaaa · 22/08/2023 21:42

bump x

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