To not be able to cope with impostor syndrome?

[Hari223]

I'm in a well-paid and difficult job that is high-stress and often involves dealing with very difficult people and balancing a lot of conflicting priorities.

I get a lot of good feedback, have consistently got pay rises and bonuses and I believe I'm generally well thought of by my colleagues. People seem to like working with me and I get good results.

The problem is that I feel absolutely awful, all the time, about how I'm doing. I feel like I'm a fraud waiting to be discovered, that everyone else is doing brilliantly (far better than me) and that I'll end up getting asked to leave/will reach a point where I can't continue because I'm too expensive and not delivering enough value.

I think this is linked to my procrastination problem. I'm constantly putting off all and any tasks but especially difficult ones, and this shows up in my output (although it can't be disastrous as I don't receive heavy criticism on that front, if any at all - I am told i could do better in productivity terms, but very gently)

I just don't know what to do. This is really ruining my life and making me miserable. Anything, big or small, that goes wrong at work is basically a catastrophe for me and takes weeks to get over. Positive stuff doesn't even register.

Anyone relate? How do you cope?

Yes I do experience this as well it’s brutal. I’m planning to listen to podcasts and read books about it. Just realised I am procrastinating about this when I wrote that down! So I don’t have any magic way to solve it as yet. Also I am about to start counselling for another reason but was thinking I might bring it up.

Yes I feel exactly the same at work - I wish I had some good advice to share, but I haven’t really found a good way of dealing with it yet.

This is EXACTLY how I feel. It’s actually so nice to hear I’m not alone.

I know what it’s like.

I overcame it by breaking things up into small manageable chunks.
For example, as an analogy, I need to make a big celebration cake. I’m not interested in making the dratted cake but I’ve promised to do it.
Day 1 look up recipe & check cupboards for ingredients.
Day 2 shop for missing items.
Day 3 weigh out stuff & leave laid out on plates & bowls covered over until
Day 4 go through the mixing up process & bake
and so on until you’ve completed the task.
This worked for me as a program of small contributory tasks so I used it when for example, preparing monthly reports etc. I hated doing them with a passion but segmenting the task was often helpful.

It's pretty common. And I think fake it til you make it is a common suggestion.

I keep a list of my achievements close to hand so when I feel shit about myself I can read through them and understand I am bloody accomplished. Similarly, positive performance reviews and any good feedback all goes in a folder which I take a look at every couple of weeks - reading through them always gives a bit of a motivation boosts and really helps with the procrastination

Psychotherapy

Self belief is very important.

Can you collate all the positive feedback you've ever received and read through it regularly - especially when you are low

You can also use an online 'strength scope' tool to identify your strengths and know which ones to work on and which ones not to.

There are many tools to cope with/overcome imposter syndrome. Look them up and shift your mindset to overcome rather than succumb. It's a slow journey but possible.

This is absolutely me. I'm changing jobs because of it. I just can't cope with feeling awful all the time even though everyone around me says I'm doing fine and was promoted last year. It really is a horrible feeling.

My goodness i could have written this. It is so awful and I feel exactly the same. I am 3 months into a new job and it is brutal. How are you getting on?

There are definitely things you can do to help!

Do you have a “coach” or a work mentor you can talk to about this and help you come up with strategies / different ways of looking at it. There are also lots of books / podcasts etc that might help. One I really like is “Love your Imposter”.

I promise talking it through with specifics to people who understand and know you / your role well enough to give helpful suggestions really can make the world of difference.

I struggle with these feelings too. In my case they’re linked closely with the fact that I have ADHD. A lot of the therapy I have for my ADHD focusses on these issues.