11 year olds travelling to school - London

[TeddyIEI]

Hoping some London parents can put my mind to rest or something.
My brother his wife snd 3 children live in south west London. My eldest nieces (twins) turned 11 at the end of July, they are due to start senior school. I've just learnt they will be going to school in central/west London and taking the tube there alone!!
On the first day my brother is going to make sure they get off at the right stop and they have done the walk from their stop to the school before with their mum before. They have to be there for 08:10 and will leave at 16:50ish, so will almost definitely be caught in the rush.
My sons are 13 and 15, we live rurally and right now they can do whatever in our village, walk to the bus stop for school (school provided bus), my 15 year old has been allowed into the nearest town to go for food with friends and I wouldn't mind dropping to the cinema/picking them up or similar. But the thought of them going into central London alone, at peak times at 11 makes me feel a little ill. They will be on the tube for nearly 30 min (no changes) and a 5 or so minute walk either end.

Is this normal? Do lots of kids in London do this? AIBU to think this can't possibly be safe ?

Perfectly normal, and despite what anyone will tell you, the tube is more frequent and far more reliable than almost all National Rail services. In the times when I used to travel to a place of work in central London, almost every day there were children travelling.

Absolutely standard. We don't live in London anymore but DC's school has a v big catchment and many children are doing 40 min train or bus journeys to get there, often with changes. DS has been getting the train to London to see his friend since he was 11, an hour's journey.

Except there have been loads on already saying that and it hasn’t reassured you.

I’m not sure what anyone says will. There is a lot of safety in a large group of people in a well lit environment. Walking 5 minutes on your own on a country lane has risks as well - but you are comfortable with those as you are familiar with them.

It is normal for London. I live rurally and my city friends were aghast at me putting my just turned 5yo on the school bus on his own. It’s just how it’s done here.

I did it, my DC did it from that age (in the holidays - we don’t live in the UK). It’s totally normal, and an extremely important developmental step imo. They need to learn street safety and awareness; they need to develop a radar for danger; they need to develop initiative and resourcefulness. Now is safer than 30-40 years ago when I was doing it, as my kids have phones/smartwatches.

Honestly, I’m probably as terrified of village living as you are of urban life! I cannot imagine raising a child to 18 in a cocoon and then bam - sending them out into the world. To me that’s grossly unfair to them. I’m sure you’d think I’m a lunatic! So maybe see it through the prism of fearing what you don’t know. They will be fine. It’s different, not worse.

Perfectly normal OP. What I would say though is that your kids don't seem to do much on their own. My kids were going into the nearest large city n the train from around 12 to meet friends. They used public transport, usually bus to go into nearest town for swimming etc from around 9. They walked approx 1.5 miles to school and back most days.They went to cinema etc with friends and usually made their own way on the bus unless I was going into the town and could give a lift.
By the time they were 15 they both had part time jobs.
I think maybe yours are a bit young for their age which is what is clouding your view.

This is normal. Many of the teachers and support staff will be on those Tubes!

I think you need to relax a bit on your 15yo. We live edge of Greater London and my 15yo has been going to London with friends for a couple of years.

She gets / tube / train / bus as needed and quite happy to navigate around with map and transport apps.

My 11yo gets bus to school and will go to the local town and friends houses by herself on the bus.

Life long Londoner here. Yes it’s normal. I was actually talking about this today as my 11 year old has asked to go shopping at Westfield and while I’d have been allowed at that age no issue, I did hesitate.

We decided that this kind of thing when young, is what makes Londoners so bold. 🤣

But they are not your children so why do you need reassurance? If you don’t get the reassurance you’re looking for, do you plan to talk to your brother and SIL about their children and their choice of school? Apart from this being well outside the scope of your role as their aunt, I’d assume your brother to be annoyed by your thoughts?

I mean this kindly, OP, maybe you need support with your anxiety- if this was your own children I could perhaps understand where you were coming from, but someone else’s children at high school age, it’s not reasonable.

Generally there are schools close enough to walk or take a bus in most places in London (longer journeys need a tube as the journey would take ages by bus). Most families I grew up with or in my deprived bit of London walk or take the bus rather than tube. I know lots of mums in London who wouldn't consider choosing a school that needed a tube journey. But it seems to be more of a middle class thing, to take the tube out to the top selective private schools or the handful of grammars or semi-selectives (where it doesn't matter how far you live). So it probably is a "normal" thing in MN circles, but not in the poorer non-MN bits of London.

Totally normal. Many London kids travel out to North Essex and Kent for the grammar schools so I would think sitting on a tube would be more than acceptable!

I grew up in Tottenham, you will have NO trouble here 🤣

By 12/13 mine travelled round London socially, not just a familiar school route. It’s fine. There’s more than one of them and they won’t be the only ones

Ask your brother and his wife for reassurance, Op. I assume that they made the decision for their children to travel in full knowledge of what it would entail.

Absolutely normal. The tube is safe and busy. I travel on the circle line to work and there are always lots of young ones on my journey home.

DS positively enjoyed working out the different routes he could take to get to and from school by tube and bus.

Yes, completely normal. Actually, 30 mins on one type of transport might be quite unusual. Mine had a mix of tubes and buses. We practised the route a couple of times. And we also practised alternative routes in case of delays.

As someone letting my child roam deprived areas of London… really that’s fine! Busy, few issues

Totally normal. Plus, they will be travelling together most of the time (unless they have different clubs after school) which will definitely help with making decisions if things go tits up.

DD gets the train to school - she has from day 1 of year 7. We discussed different journeys to take back if her train is delayed/ cancelled. I had a couple of phone calls in the first term, but after that she grew massively in confidence and with the aid of CityMapper/ her phone manages perfectly fine.

One thing that surprises me. Why are so many people saying it's none of the OP's business? Surely it's certainly your business to raise any genuine concerns you have about your nieces and nephews? I certainly would, and I'd expect my brothers to do the same.

As others have said it's perfectly normal in London.

You REALLY need to get out of your village/small town a bit more.

I will never forget organising a hen party for a group of adult women and half couldn’t come as it required getting on a train, on their own. They considered this completely irrational behaviour, like how were they possibly expected to come to LONDON (from Essex; on the central line)

You really don’t want that kind of adult. It’s tiresome and restrictive and a small world to be in.

Honestly? Your posts make me think that you think travelling through London is an extremely dangerous thing to do … when it’s actually the opposite. Children get pretty good at using tubes and buses very quickly. I rather think knowing how to get around a city (not necessarily London) is an essential life skill. And they’ll be together!

If they are going to an independent school in central-ish London then they will have sat an exam, had an interview and had to provide a reference to get in. There are a bunch of threads about getting into independent schools in central / south west London and they are a fairly intense read. This family will be really pleased with the school the children got - please don’t spoil it for them.

But there’s nothing to be concerned about. The OP is completely out of loop regarding London schooling. Their plans are perfectly normal.