Mum staying here aibu?

[Zee1345]

So my mum has been staying at my house since Saturday evening and is due to go home tomorrow evening she claimed she was coming to "stay to help" as I am now 33 weeks pregnant and not had the easiest pregnancy so she said she " wanted to come and help" with my older children so I could rest. I wouldn't say I'm very close with her, we have completely different personalities and alot of her behaviour I find unacceptable which has caused a lot of problems between my husband and I in the past. Maybe it's my own fault but I do look past this alot and give her the benefit of the doubt and always hope she has changed but it never turns out to be the case.
So she came Saturday, she's done nothing to help and all she has done is sat down whilst I'm running round cleaning and cooking after her ( she says she came to help but hasn't offered to do anything she just sits down on her phone) the main issue is she likes to cause problems between me and my husbands family, she gets very jealous towards them.
My brother in law came round on Sunday to pick something up and my mum was sitting downstairs, my brother in law hasn't seen my mother in 4 years because of problems she's caused in the family and things she has said in the past I always distance her with my husbands family.
He was polite to her and said "hello how are you" and smiled, I was in the room and he was polite and did nothing wrong.
However as soon as he walked out the house he started shaking and saying " I'm having a panic attack he didn't give me a warm welcome I didn't get a very warm welcome from him" I told her it wasn't like that and he was polite to her and she started saying " well your the same as me" what ever that means.
I got embarrassed because she said all this, loudly and on purpose whilst knowing my brother in law was still outside with my husband and she knew he would be able to hear her saying this, which is why she said it because this is the type of behaviour she does to try to cause tension between me and my husbands family.
I just tried to ignore it and move on.
However this morning shes started again, my husbands parents live abroad and I usually video call my mother in law every couple of days for my kids to speak to her, we haven't video called in a week because my mother in law has been busy and not at home and time difference etc.
I video called her this morning and my son was speaking to his grandmother and my mum came downstairs and started shouting telling the kids to come to her ( again something she does out of jealousy) I just nicely asked her to wait a minute as my son was talking to his grandmother, and then my mum kept coming over trying to get herself seen in the video call and trying to distract my son so he would move away from my mother in law on the video call. I kept moving the phone away because she just kept trying to get herself seen on the video call, it's just the way she is " wanting people to know she is around" so I just took the phone and my son and went to sit outside so my mother in law could see and speak to my son. My older daughter then came out and said " nanny is crying in the front room because you kept moving the phone away when you was on the video call" I went in to ask her why she was crying and she is just being funny with me now.
Aibu and have I actually done anything wrong here? I'm starting to question myself if I was rude but she just kept trying to get herself seen on the video call for no reason when I asked her to wait when she was trying to distract my son.

Holy shit, she sounds dreadful. I don’t know how you haven’t lost your rag at the woman. Definitely send a text when she’s gone and tell her that if she ever DARES mention that she came to help you to anyone, you will happily report the truth that she sat on her arse doing fuck all except create trouble when your in laws were visiting or on the phone. Your house isn’t her holiday house and you and your kids are not props.

OP, I feel very sorry for you as this sounds very very hard.

But you really need to separate the issues.

You desperately need some therapy for your neediness for your truly awful mother.

You need this because your neediness has allowed her to stay in your home, behave so badly and emotionally abuse your poor 7 year old daughter.

Stop thinking of yourself for a minute and think of your confused daughter crying because her grandmother is an emotionally abudive liar, and mum continues to allow her to stay.

That woman should never have been in your home, given an opportunity to behave badly again and abuse hour child.

This is so awful.

Get some therapy for yourself because your neediness for this truly awful woman has allowed her to be around your children.

I wouldn't want someone so awful within a 100 miles of my children.

You know she is awful, she continues to be awful, you give repeated chances to be more awful, yet are surprised when she is awful......AGAIN🤷🏻‍♀️.

Stop it.
Accept the truth of who she is and stop wishing for what will never be.

And don't ever allow her to emotionally abuse your children again.

Mind yourself.

Why you are getting that water is beyond me.
Your husband should get it, or go without.

Rest up.

You're mum is incredibly immature and to be frank, vile.

Reducing a child to tears through her lies to her face and a pregnant woman!

Send her packing and send her a very frank honest review of her behaviour.

Is she playing a deliberate game?!!

When she wouldn't get out of the car in the supermarket car park, I would have turned the car around and driven home. I know that you need stuff but wherever you're going, would there be a supermarket near by that you could get your stuff in? I would have said to her very clearly "You said you would come to help me. Not to keep me company while I did the shopping. They are two very different things. I need help. Why won't you help me?". Your years of frustration are coming out as tears at the moment. When you find your gumption (I blooming love that word), it will turn to anger.
In the meantime, can you do an online shop if there is a delivery slot for tomorrow perhaps or buy what you need to buy when you get to your location?

You need to stop giving her the benefit of the doubt. If I was your dh, I'd be pretty fed up with you allowing her to continue to cause all these problems. You need to put some serious boundaries in place.

Back when I was pregnant we were all told that we couldn't carry anything heavy. Did that advice change?

I usually take the side of mothers and MILs, but your mother, OP, takes the biscuit.