Aibu to still be so hurt regarding friends

[DandDoodlz67]

sorry this is long and I’m just trying to understand what might have happened and then either put it right /or get over it

so I’m already very depressed and anxious from pnd
So I’m not sure if I’m totally overthinking this
but i had a friendship group of around 8 years of friendship two have kind of disappeared into ft work (and one has a disabled child ), both of them lovely kind ladies and see them maybe’ couple to few times a year due to busy lives.
that leaves four of us locally I saw two quite often well call them pippa and sue , we used meet I think at least once a week we are pt or sahm and local.
we last met up summertime last year she seemed happy chatty and pleased to meet us all
however not long after this meet up I find out she’s deleted me on Facebook I was confused so asked her she said she hadn’t done so we re added , but all I could see was her profile picture where as other friends on Facebook can see the photos and updates etc she’s a regular poster almost daily,so she clearly has made them not viewable to me only!
and now I have also been deleted off Facebook again!! so clearly there’s a reason?

I feel sad and confused because I don’t really know what I could have done wrong!

pippa said she has no idea what could be a issue. Despite her seeing her the most (every week at activities)

Sue has heard nothing since last summer coming up to 11 months ago , despite her trying to get in touch and meet up with the dc as they used to do regularly !
The other two arnt proactive at messaging and have had no contact since the meeting up last year!

To add to this Now recently Pippa has started ignoring my messages (3 month now) and excluding me and lying about it (I have seen her out with other people I know, after she’d told me she was busy and doing other things) which is fine! I understand that not everyone has to be involved or invited to everything but why lie about it!?
this has now happened a few times and it’s also feeling awkward , as I see her at some hobby groups and she brings these other new friends along and ignores me when otherwise I thought we used to be good friends! She hasn’t responded to last two messages and last one was four weeks ago (just hi are you free to meet up at x which we used to do regularly)

I’m thinking it must be me and something I’ve done? I have had a baby which none of them have any more (the others have older kids and toddler/pre schoolers)

so I wonder, do I ..
a ) get in touch to ask if they are ok?
b ) leave it and assume and accept that the friend ships are both over (for a reason that they see fit)
c ) ask her if I have upset them and try to put it right!

we four live in same small town and likely to bump into each other too , this makes me anxious as I don’t know what to do if this situation arises! Like say hi, or assume they don’t want to talk to me!

I’m really not used to this and racking my brain can’t think of anything specific that’s happened so appreciate any advice from anyone who has maybe experienced something similar!

I don’t think it’s helping that I feel lonely and now spend a lot of time on my own with a baby and the days feel long and I’ve too much time to think plus I’m no longer going back to work as my post has expired and I can’t afford to do full time because of the child care costs!!!

I’m sorry this has happened. If I were you I wouldn’t reach out. If you’ve inadvertently done something to upset them, if they were still genuinely good friends they would have let you know about it directly. It’s hard to feel isolated but a lot of people are in the same boat. Can you try some other groups?

As sad as it may be I think it's best to assume your friends have moved on, for whatever reason. Don't tie yourself in knots trying to work out what's gone wrong. Draw a line under it, hide their posts from social media to stop the constant reminders and start to work on yourself and feeling better.

I'd advise b)

It's very painful when friendships end but I don't think there's much to be gained from pursuing this further.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down and upset about it ❤️

I suppose I should do really because I’m on edge when I go to the usual and they are all there ignoring me. I did enjoy them but luckily the hobbies are popular ones so there would be plenty more a short drive away

I’m afraid the best thing you can do is move on, tell yourself that the friendship has run its course and now you are onto a new phase. Continue your hobby bit somewhere else if you can and then try and join some groups with people who have babies too. Time to think about you and your family and move on, hopefully you’ll make better friends this time (and if they are being mean girls nothing will upset them more than seeing you have a life away from them!). Good luck!

I would leave them be, as hard and as horrible it is to not know why they’ve acted like this, no good will come from chasing it.
Continue doing your hobbies in the same place unless you’d feel happier going somewhere new.

It might just be that you've had a baby? Not that that's reasonable, but may be why. If some of them have older children (not sure who has what - do they all have both school age and toddlers?) they might not want to do baby-friendly meetups and be too chicken to say so.

Sometimes friendships end for no reason or very small reasons.

Stop reaching out to them, and concentrate on making new friendships.

How did you know others could see Facebook pictures and more detail? Did you go asking?

Someone saying they are busy or have other plans does cover them going out with other people, and I definitely wouldn't be expected to be invited to things with friends that are not my friends. That's different groups of people.

But it does sound like they are ghosting you if ignoring your messages etc. I think I'd be tempted to cut all contact and see what that brings.

How utterly pathetic and immature of them. Honestly gives me rage to hear about people behaving like this. It's one thing drifting apart from friendships, but the fact that they are actively ignoring you when you see each other at the hobby groups is high school crap.

Really not sure why people are trying to find reasons to justify their behaviour because there's no excuse. Cut them off. Painful and hurtful as it is, I think you'll only make yourself feel worse if you try and reach out and they inevitably don't reply. Unfortunately, no response is a response.

You're better than them.