Wtf am I going to do about my sleep- please help ! 1 year old and 3 year old torture !

[exhast]

1 year old categorically refuses to go in his cot now and will only fall asleep in bed next to me. This was not always the case at all and was kicked off by a recent holiday, where he refused to go into the cot in the hotel and to get some sleep, I put him in bed next to me. I rarely ever did this before ( only when he was sick ).

He is absolutely relentless now. He takes ages to fall asleep and I have to stay the whole time next to him, otherwise all hell breaks loose. I then transfer him to his cot ( when asleep ). He then wakes at night, screams murder and I again, need to lie down with him until he falls asleep. I no longer have evenings or nights. I'm up all hours. My 3 year old also comes in, whenever she wakes up, she gets scared and gets in too.

Co sleep with both you say ? We are kind of doing that anyway, but I'm so touched out already. I just want a little bit of space for a few hours at night.

Tonight I tried to get him back into his cot. He cried for over an HOUR. While I sat and tried to comfort him ( but didn't take him out ). I also left the room for 10 or so minutes to see if that would help. Nothing. He refused to lie down and fell asleep standing at one point.

What can I do ? I can't take it. Turn around 20 minutes ago my three year old runs in and I feel sandwiched between them both, unable to move and hot and uncomfortable. I've just left them and gone to the spare are room for now.

I know when either wake up ( which they will ), they'll freak out and I'll have to lie down with them again until they can go back to sleep.

Help me please !!!

So sorry, I feel your pain. Are you having to cope with this alone? It sounds like you are doing the right things to break the cycle but its really rough going. I think you have to try and stick with it and know that you are in for a rough few days but worth it for the longer term gain. Is the 3 year old able to respond to a simple reward chart for sleeping in their own bed. Sending a hand hold - this time will pass - but I know its doesn't feel like it right now.

My life is was yours and I’m sorry it’s sooo hard. I gave in and co slept for a rough period but in a king size bed and no dh. I was still woken briefly a few times a night though.

It's rough and you aren't alone. You cave in because you are just so exhausted you can't take it, and letting them use you to get to sleep only makes their problem worse
No one is sleeping, everyone is cranky, and you are at the end of your tether.

Unfortunately, the fix isn't magic and will take about a week. So pump yourself up for 7 days of hell for a lifetime of peace...... and giving them great sleep hygiene they can carry with them to be great adult sleepers, too.

Explain to the 3 year old that they will be sleeping in their own bed all the time now. Make it exciting by getting a new stuffed animal or blanket.

Have a relaxing bedtime routine before bed, the same routine each night (this gets them prepared that bedtime is coming...no screen time, low lights, lots of cuddles and hugs), then do exactly what you tried. Each time either of them (this goes for both) cries or gets out of bed, return them to bed or go in and check on them. No talking. They know they are not alone but they also know you are not allowing them to sleep on or with you.

Eventually (and for the first few nights it may take hours) they will fall asleep. Rinse and repeat. Days 1-3 will be the worst, day 4 and 5 will be easier and by the end of the week they will be able to fall asleep and stay asleep on their own without needing you to do so.

Firm but loving (and maybe a lot of wine to get you through it!!).

Be firm about them falling asleep in their own cot. Sleep regression after a holiday is quite common but you absolutely can get things to how they were before. If tonight they screamed for an hour then tomorrow it will probably be much shorter and by end of week they will accept that this is how things are from now on and will get down peacefully. Well done by the way for not budging tonight, it was the hardest one and things will get easier from here xx

If you want things to change you need to be tough and stick to the rules you want, very hard to do when you're tired but worth it in the end.

Can't your partner deal with them for a few nights?

I'm a zombie today. Losing the will to live