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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Would this annoy you whilst dating somebody?

23 replies

Rosey98 · 21/08/2023 23:12

For example we were messaging and I’d gone shopping so he asked what I’d bought, I told him some trainers and what they were and he said ‘oh nice, I have hundreds of pairs of trainers, most new in boxes at home’

He asked me if I’ve got any holidays planned he says. I told him I’ve got a week away booked next year ‘oh that’s a long time away, I’m going abroad for two weeks soon’

lots of times this has happened, this is just a couple of examples

Just feels like it’s a competition to him if that makes sense and like he always has better? Or am I over thinking it?

OP posts:

ConnieTucker · 21/08/2023 23:14

Sounds like a conversation

BiIIie · 21/08/2023 23:49

Sounds more like a conversation than competition.

GrumpyOldCrone · 21/08/2023 23:55

I would find that tedious and off-putting.

They could ask: what trainers? Or where are you going? But instead they make it about their trainers/holiday etc. No thanks.

uhOhOP · 21/08/2023 23:57

No, OP, I get what you mean. If it's exactly as you've written, I completely get it. If he wanted to tell you about his hundreds of pairs of trainers still in the boxes, he could have found a more conversational route to get there, a route that might have involved talking about YOU since he did actually ask you a question about your purchases. Maybe he'd have asked if you collect trainers, or if you have many pairs of trainers, then from there he might have subtly segued into telling you about his interest in collecting trainers.

If he said exactly what you've written, it's very blunt and just seems as though he wants to talk about himself rather than engage you in conversation.

tiredofthenoise · 22/08/2023 00:01

He sounds like he may be a bit of a braggart, but tbh the hundreds of pairs of trainers (some unworn) would be enough to put me off, even without any boastful tendencies. That's not my style at all, and I'd not find it attractive in a partner, either.

Ydkiml · 22/08/2023 00:05

So if you were going to Tenerife , would he say he’s going to Elevenerife ?

nadine90 · 22/08/2023 00:06

Is he off to elevenerife?
If it were these two examples alone amongst hours of conversation then I'd put it down to just awkwardly making conversation, but from your op I'm guessing it's more of a pattern. If something's irritating you now it will boil your pee a year down the line x

HeddaGarbled · 22/08/2023 00:09

Yes.

Also, what sort of financially-incontinent knob head buys 100s of pairs of trainers just to keep them in boxes?

Bellabears · 22/08/2023 00:18

Ligit conversation

SheSaidHummingbird · 22/08/2023 00:19

Do you really want to be involved with someone who is surrounded by 'hundreds' of boxes of new, unworn trainers?

readbooksdrinktea · 22/08/2023 00:22

If it's on-going, yes.

Testina · 22/08/2023 00:26

Yeah, another one who’d have little in common with someone with “100s” of unworn boxed trainers.

ellenpartridge · 22/08/2023 00:42

He sounds ridiculous and yes it would put me off, both the bragging and the boxes of trainers!

VeniVidiWeeWee · 22/08/2023 00:46

HeddaGarbled · 22/08/2023 00:09

Yes.

Also, what sort of financially-incontinent knob head buys 100s of pairs of trainers just to keep them in boxes?

I take it you've never looked at the prices of unused, boxed, trainers, (of certain types)?

A bit like those females who buy handbags, and never use them, because they know in a few years they'll be quids in.

HarrietJet · 22/08/2023 00:49

VeniVidiWeeWee · 22/08/2023 00:46

I take it you've never looked at the prices of unused, boxed, trainers, (of certain types)?

A bit like those females who buy handbags, and never use them, because they know in a few years they'll be quids in.

Show quote history

You think he's buying hundreds of pairs of trainers as an investment??

VeniVidiWeeWee · 22/08/2023 01:49

HarrietJet · 22/08/2023 00:49

You think he's buying hundreds of pairs of trainers as an investment??

Show quote history

Well, since they're in boxes, and unworn, what other reason could there be?

Other than the fact that he's a man and is, therefore a, (insert perjorative adjective of your choice).

Original poster

Rosey98 · 22/08/2023 08:48

Yeah it does like the elevenrife thing to me. He always turns the conversation onto him if that makes sense and it has to be a bigger and better thing than what I’ve done or got

OP posts:

CrazyFrogDingDing · 22/08/2023 08:53

Rosey98 · 22/08/2023 08:48

Yeah it does like the elevenrife thing to me. He always turns the conversation onto him if that makes sense and it has to be a bigger and better thing than what I’ve done or got

The only thing he's got that's bigger and better than yours is an over inflated ego, along with cupboards that resembles sports direct.

drunkpeacock · 22/08/2023 08:57

Yes op that would bother me, the bragging and one-upmanship but also rather than taking an interest in you he's instantly turning it back onto himself. Do you have good conversation apart from that? Does he generally show an interest in you and what you have to say?

WtfHormones · 22/08/2023 09:00

That would give me the ick. He sounds emotionaly and socially stupid.

If you like him in all other areas I'd call him out on it and see how he responds but otherwise I'd just drop him. You don't need to put up with anything this early on.

pizzaHeart · 22/08/2023 09:09

Yes it would put me off immediately and forever. The thing is that either he does have hundreds of pairs of trainers, most new in boxes at home’ which is not sensible and tells that he is hoarder and probably bad with money or he doesn’t which means he is a lier. Both options are not attractive and will worsen with age.

CurlewKate · 22/08/2023 09:12

Someone having hundreds of pairs of trainers still in their boxes would be a deal breaker for me!

papasmurfdontpreach · 22/08/2023 09:27

Yes I stopped dating someone for this reason, plus other annoyances. I'd told him about a lovely gift someone at work got me for Christmas and he was smiling as I was talking. It was really meaningful for me to get this gift and I was very touched. But all it was, he was not glad for me, he had this big grin as he was just waiting for me to stop talking so he could tell me how his boss had given him a bigger, better gift. He didn't comment on my thing at all. After I noticed it once I couldn't unsee it. He did it again and again so we didn't last much longer. It was not conversational, perhaps hard to describe writing it here, in the moment it was more transactional and boastful. Ditch him unless it's a one-off!

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