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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you would think of this?

48 replies

HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 21:37

Natalie works in a children's home. Lots of upheaval at the moment due to staff changes.
Had 2 temp workers in. One been coming in for over a year, requested by the manager to work and highly qualified and experienced, always found to be helpful and caring. More like permanent staff than temporary. (Anna) the other, level 2 in health and social care. (Sarah).
Sarah was sitting back and was not really being useful. Anna was helping kids wash their hands for lunch. Sarah was asked to help and then gave a kid the wrong lunch and as he was allergic, this could have been very dangerous. Yet because Anna had pushed a chair towards the table for the kid to sit on, they were both shouted at for the error.
Natalie then shouts out that she can't cope and rushes into the other room to say she is doing everything on her own and can't cope with just having temps in. Everyone in that room laughs and discusses it amongst themselves.
The next day Anna makes a formal complaint pointing out everything she does for the home and says she won't be coming back. What would you think ?

OP posts:
Original poster
HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 21:55

Anyone ?

OP posts:
toddlermum27 · 21/08/2023 21:56

Anna should apply for a permanent job if she doesn't want to receive comments about being a temp.

Doggymummar · 21/08/2023 21:57

Can you explain more simply p, I don't get the question

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 21/08/2023 21:59

I’d think all the named people working there were childish and not serving the children well at all.

Hellocatshome · 21/08/2023 22:01

I think they all need to grow up.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 21/08/2023 22:01

Natalie sounds stressed out, and fed up of not having permanent help instead of temps. Sarah sounds completely useless if not dangerous. Anna (I'm guessing you?) sounds like she wants to be treated with the same respect as a permanent member of staff would be, which is fair enough, but probably could have been paying more attention at the mealtime.

Original poster
HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 22:07

Sorry to dripfeed but Anna was attending to another child at the same time who was upset.
Not sure why Anna and Sarah are seen as the ones who need to grow up. Sarah acted dangerously but was not yelling or shouting at anyone.

OP posts:
Magneta · 21/08/2023 22:07

Are you Anna?

I'm not sure what you're asking really. It's up to Anna if she wants to make a complaint and/or leave. A complaint will need to be followed up according to process, it may or may not be upheld but she's within her rights to make it. And she is of course within her rights to walk away from a temp job.

Basically it sounds like everyone was reacting emotionally rather than professionally, and that can't be in the children's interests, but it's going to happen if morale is low and staff feel that they are badly treated. This sounds like a straw that broke the camel's back.

Lavender14 · 21/08/2023 22:08

It sounds like the culture in the home between the staff needs addressed. That's an unacceptable outburst in front of children in a children's home to declare that you 'can't cope and do everything'. It's a privilege to work there and each child should feel that is how all staff see it. Her issues should have been brought up directly in supervision.

Sarah who served the meal should be held fully accountable because that's an incredibly dangerous oversight however, any staff assisting with mealtimes who are there long enough to be familiar with the children and their allergens I would have expected to be vigilant enough to catch this also, temp or no. Fail on all fronts basically but that's what will happen when you have chronic understaffing. Management need to be stepping up to address this and create a better culture in the home. Having regular changes in staff is unsettling for the children and the team and can create more work, it may be that Natalie wasn't referring to Anna in her comments. It's unprofessional all round basically.

pictoosh · 21/08/2023 22:08

I think Natalie sounds stressed out. She shouldn't have made the comment within earshot of the temps though.
I think Anna has taken things personally. I'm undecided on whether or not she's a bit of a self important drama llama. Refusing to come back over this seems extreme.

Hellocatshome · 21/08/2023 22:11

Sarah needs to grow up as you have described her as work shy and dangerously not following procedure.

Anna needs to grow up as she has walked out of her job without giving notice or giving them time to act on her complaint.

Original poster
HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 22:11

Anna just doesn't appreciate being shouted at when it was not her fault and the insinuation that Natalie was doing everything when that was far, far from the case. Getting everyone involved and being disrespectful also. Shouting and acting like she was the only capable one also.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 21/08/2023 22:12

HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 22:11

Anna just doesn't appreciate being shouted at when it was not her fault and the insinuation that Natalie was doing everything when that was far, far from the case. Getting everyone involved and being disrespectful also. Shouting and acting like she was the only capable one also.

Ok so I'm assuming you are Anna. No one should be shouted at in the workplace but walking out without giving notice or giving management time to look into the complaint is unprofessional.

pictoosh · 21/08/2023 22:13

Anna could be more resilient.

pictoosh · 21/08/2023 22:15

I think they'll get another temp to replace Anna and that will be the problem dealt with.

Original poster
HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 22:15

Not walked out, I finished the shift. I don't have to give notice as am a temp. But despite working here for nearly a year, I now feel I can't go back. I am not accepting being shouted at or disrespected in that way. It doesn't come down to being more resilient. In any other workplace you wouldn't get away with it.

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GerbilTrainerExtraordinaire2 · 21/08/2023 22:15

id think ..

who is doing the shouting and why are people being shouted at? No wonder the work place struggles to keep staff. There are better ways to manage people and sort issues out.

sarah needs further training and awareness around allergies. If she’s otherwise a helpful temp, it would be worth investing time. If this is one of many errors, give her the push and trial an alternative temp.

annes got part of the blame when she shouldn’t have. No wonder she’s upset.

natalie seems a bit dramatic

Original poster
HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 22:16

Maybe so but when they have a succession of temps leaving then they may want to start addressing Natalie's behaviour.

OP posts:
ChrisPPancake · 21/08/2023 22:20

Neither of them should be 'shouted at' for making a mistake. Or was the shouting more like "Nooo, don't give Billy that! He's allergic!" - slightly more appropriate.

I don't disagree with Anna putting in a complaint for being shouted at.

AtrociousCircumstance · 21/08/2023 22:21

Natalie is venting/using the situation to rant out of built up frustrations/stress. Was inappropriate and unprofessional.

Sarah nearly made a massive fuck up. Does she feel any guilt for causing all the hoo-ha?

Anna feels enraged she was blamed for
something she had no part in and is angry at Natalie playing the woe-is-me ‘I do everything around here’ card when it’s not true. But she could have responded differently: a considered email outlining the incident, a chat with the manager etc. Something more adult.

Three stressed women with other shit going on in their lives no doubt.

Hellocatshome · 21/08/2023 22:21

HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 22:16

Maybe so but when they have a succession of temps leaving then they may want to start addressing Natalie's behaviour.

So you think your actions were justified Natalie's behaviour needs addressing and Sarah is useless. Which is all possibly true as we don't know any of what has really gone on. What are you hoping for from this thread?

takealettermsjones · 21/08/2023 22:22

You can't really have it both ways though. You don't want to be treated like a temp but you don't have to give notice because you're a temp.

I agree with PP that nobody should be shouted at in the workplace, and it's a bad atmosphere for those poor children. But I think you're unreasonable to refuse to to go back and put in a formal complaint over this one incident, if it is one incident.

Natalie sounds like she needs a break.

Original poster
HoppingDragon · 21/08/2023 22:25

Because I know nothing will be done. My temp boss doesn't like to rock the boat because she is scared she will lose the business with the various homes. I have seen this happen with other colleagues. Because we are just temps, we have no protection.
I also don't think it's right to say that you are only deserving of respect if you are permanent staff. I deserve respect and not to be yelled at regardless of my position.

OP posts:
toddlermum27 · 21/08/2023 22:25

You want the respect of a permanent member of staff, but you work on a temporary basis because it's more convenient to you, you don't have to give notice etc.

Sounds like no one is really thinking about the vulnerable children at the heart of this, and leaving and refusing to go back will have the biggest impact on them.

pictoosh · 21/08/2023 22:27

Well we weren't there were we? We don't know how she shouted at you.

I work in a school for children with additional support needs and we too have supply staff, some regular, some random. Some are fantastic, others not so much. I can imagine the scenario you describe all too well.

All things being equal, you're right. But it's not a level playing field...short staffed, low on resources, the expectations piling on...it's not easy at all. I'm sorry that you got caught up in her sentiment but dealing with very specific and vulnerable children with a revolving door of staff is a challenge. Natalie should apologise for her comment regarding temps and for giving you a hard time over the misplaced lunch.

Truth is, management will do listening face and noises but ultimately put it down to a spat between staff. It's your choice to refuse to come back. They will get another temp.
Dealt.