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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be emotionally affected by toddler behaviour

10 replies

Peachpicklepie · 21/08/2023 19:34

Two year old DS. Normally we have a blast, but today it's like he's woken up and hates me. Hitting and kicking, despite plenty of time outside and me trying to engage with him. He has a 12 week sister who rattled him for the first couple of weeks but since then it has been fine. Until today. I'm a SAHM and feel like I try so hard only for everyone to still be unhappy.

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 21/08/2023 19:35

Everyone has a bad day sometimes, children and adults alike. If usually everything is good don’t dwell on the one bad day and let it ruin all of the good ones.

Merryoldgoat · 21/08/2023 19:37

I usually found out of character behaviour was the precursor to illness.

My youngest is very sunny but non verbal. The second I get grumps and food refusal I know a cold is incoming.

Could it be something like that?

Chanhedforthis · 21/08/2023 19:39

You have my sympathy op, same here with dd (also 2). Kicking me all day, throwing things at the tv, window, dogs.
Even said to me ' You're not my best friend anymore' which bloody hurt!

You're doing a great job promise x

Original poster
Peachpicklepie · 21/08/2023 19:46

It actually could be - he's not super verbal so struggles to tell me exactly what is wrong (if it is). Weird to hope for a cold 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Peachpicklepie · 21/08/2023 19:47

Chanhedforthis · 21/08/2023 19:39

You have my sympathy op, same here with dd (also 2). Kicking me all day, throwing things at the tv, window, dogs.
Even said to me ' You're not my best friend anymore' which bloody hurt!

You're doing a great job promise x

Yes this 🤦 I had "mom mom all gone". Cheers mate. Hang in there x

OP posts:
RabbitsRock · 21/08/2023 19:48

Maybe still jealousy? I used to be a nanny/ mother’s help & sometimes really struggled with the older child’s behaviour towards the new sibling.

fearfuloffluff · 21/08/2023 19:53

Quite often siblings kick off at this point when they realise the baby is a permanent fixture not a passing novelty! I think it takes a year or so for an older sibling to forget/stop longing for the before times.

Yanbu, it's hard, but equally you need to zoom out a bit and learn not to take it so personally. You're creating a space for your DC to grow, when they have feelings that are negative you'll bear the brunt of it but it's not about you, you're the safe person for them to share that with.

You're a parent, not a friend. Sometimes they play up out of insecurity to see if you still love them if they're beastly.

fearfuloffluff · 21/08/2023 19:55

Do you get some 121 time with him? Even if it's 10 mins here and there, it helps.

Original poster
Peachpicklepie · 21/08/2023 20:22

fearfuloffluff · 21/08/2023 19:53

Quite often siblings kick off at this point when they realise the baby is a permanent fixture not a passing novelty! I think it takes a year or so for an older sibling to forget/stop longing for the before times.

Yanbu, it's hard, but equally you need to zoom out a bit and learn not to take it so personally. You're creating a space for your DC to grow, when they have feelings that are negative you'll bear the brunt of it but it's not about you, you're the safe person for them to share that with.

You're a parent, not a friend. Sometimes they play up out of insecurity to see if you still love them if they're beastly.

Yes could be this - I thought we had got off lightly. Luckily I did stay calm and consistent, but my god it was a close run thing!! I try and remember he's a baby learning his way, but it definitely feels very personable sometimes. Especially when Daddy gets giggles and laughs!

OP posts:
Original poster
Peachpicklepie · 21/08/2023 20:24

fearfuloffluff · 21/08/2023 19:55

Do you get some 121 time with him? Even if it's 10 mins here and there, it helps.

I really try to, but it's just me, him and the baby 7.30am to 6pm each day, and he goes up to bed at 6.45pm. Baby only contact naps so I try to take him to the park or soft play with her in the sling so that I can focus on him, but maybe he's still resentful that she's there at all 😭

OP posts:
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