To think I am obviously completely forgettable.

[WestendVBroadway]

I wonder if I actually have a better than average memory for names and faces, or if my memory is normal, but I am just so unremarkable that no-one remembers me. Three examples recently- I bumped into a good friend from school, admittedly 30 odd years ago. I said wow it 'Lorraine ' isn't it. She didn't recognise me, fair enough. I said it's Westend from school. She asked if I meant primary or secondary

I replied it was both, and we also did the same course at college. She apparently had no recollection and did not remember my name, though I also remembered her 2 siblings names. Another one was when my DC started working with someone I worked closely with 20 or so years ago. She asked the person if they remembered me , but alas, I clearly made no mpression on them.

Thirdly ,I saw my former best friend from our 20's ( she had moved away and we lost touch) She didn't recognise me at first, when I recalled our girly holidays abroad, she said "Ah yes, it's ...... isn't it?" Well she got my name slightly wrong- think Anthea, instead of Andrea. I however remembered her DSis and nephew's name.

Someone on a Facebook group for my primary school added a class photo, while nobody could place me, I remembered the full names of 31 out of 33, and the first names of the other 2.

Am I just unusual to remember folk from many moons ago?

Sorry, I didn't mean to enable voting, but never mind!

You sound to have an amazing recall of names and faces. I doubt you’re forgettable and that it’s more a case of others not having the same ability as you. Unless someone is very distinctive looking I wouldn’t be able to recognise them or place someone I was a school with or in one of my first jobs , no matter how much I liked them. I’m just not good at it. I know people like you and I’m amazed at the memory they have

I'm the same as you OP. I've come to assume noone will ever remember me as its simpler (and tbh less painful) that way, and I do just remember everyone's names pretty easily because I have a good memory. By contrast DH remembers noones names, so I've learnt to see it from the other side and it's really not personal.

In terms of the class photo, are you maybe just quite generic looking? Eg I am white with brown hair and brown eyes and in most places I've worked I've been mistaken for at least one if not two other colleagues regularly. I just have one of those faces. Maybe you do too?

I'm exactly the same! I have had many instances at work of people introducing themselves and clearly not knowing who I am, when I've met them several times and remember them very well.

One of them was someone I'd interviewed for their job!

I've often said I feel invisible. People in shops ignore me and go to serve the person behind me in the queue.

I've tried to make my peace with it but I do find it hurtful. I'm not especially quiet and not shy, so it isn't that.

I have a degree of face blindness - I can recognise my family without a problem but I easily mix up work colleagues that I see regularly. I do try to explain this as I understand people might take my blanking them personally.

I can never recognise people I went to school with unless they have not changed a bit . If someone asks me to describe what someone looks like I also can't do it, I just cannot picture them at all. I think you have an exceptional recall for faces and names, not that you are forgettable!

I think someone who holidayed with you in your 20s (you sound late 40s now as you say school 30 years ago?) is unusual not to remember you. The other examples - not unusual at all.

I consider myself neither especially good or bad at remembering people, and there is no way I could full name almost everyone one of my primary classmates 30 years on. So I’d say your base for normal is way off!

This is not an intended drip feed, but I wanted to hear some opinions first. I was the only mixed race child at primary school, apart from my sibling, and one of about 5 at secondary, so not really generic looking.
Mind you, at least folk don't say " Oh yeah, you were the brown girl at school."

Wow, this feels like the set-up for a sci-fi story, where you remember living a life but nobody remembers you being there, so they could be implanted memories and you're a replicant who never lived that life but are on a secret mission to... I don't know what, but if you find any clues, keep us posted!

If that's not what's going on, you just have a good memory and people are up their own arses not thinking much beyond what's relevant to their journey... and you won't save them in the apocalypse where you're the only one with the data to survive!

Interesting. Agree with OPs that your/our baseline for remembering names is not normal, which makes any level of being not-remembered feel hurtful. You didn't say whether others could name everyone in the school photo except you. I imagine they forgot a lot of names. Or maybe it's just your name itself that doesn't stick in people's mind? That would fit with the examples you name as well.