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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I arrived home to a tip. DH defensive and turns it around on me.

2 replies

Percypigs4 · 21/08/2023 17:54

I've been out since first thing this morning with DS1 (who is disabled and has high care needs, so it's never a relaxing or stress free time)

DH was home with our youngest who is very self suffifient and is on day 2 of his 2 days off work.

I arrive home to the place looking like a complete shit hole.

Not just toys everywhere (which is always understandable - they're kids) but I'm talking -

Full bins
Biscuit and crisps crumbs everywhere
Sink full of dishes
More washing chucked near the laundry pile but none put in the washing machine (I did two loads yesterday)
Yesterday's 2 loads still sitting on airing racks (completely dry)
The throws hanging off the sofa, pillows scattered about the room.

As soon as I got through the door he suggested I put the kids tea on whilst he nips to the shop, how was I supposed to just do that with all the cooking utensils sitting in the sink..

I was annoyed and said "so you didn't fancy doing any of the housework then.." and make a start on sorting the place out a bit.

He immediately gets defensive and says "well I never say anything to you do I?"

I ask him to elaborate and he says that its not always spotless when he gets in either.

That may well be, but I will always do whatever I can manage even if its just a quick half an hour blitz (which is a damn sight more than he's done today) and he never gets home to the place looking anything like it does today. Ever. Literally everything needs doing. He hasn't done a thing.

For context i'm having major surgery in 2 weeks time and have some restrictions associated with that. I also have a separate health condition that causes me alot of pain.. and ADHD. I'm registered as disabled and spend 5/7 days in significant pain alongside doing 80% of the childcare for the children as he works nights.

A few weeks ago I acknowledged my limitations after a bollocking from my consultant for overdoing it. I told DH I wanted to get a cleaner, several times. He completely rubbishes the idea and sarcastically remarks that If we do that then we might aswell get a carer aswell.. clearly meaning for me. Dick.

He doesn't have any disabilities. He isn't in pain.

AIBU to think he's got a cheek and he should have atleast done something today given that he spent the entire day indoors, probably sat on his arse gaming.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 21/08/2023 18:13

YANBU he doesn't seem to see marriage as a team does he?

Screamingabdabz · 21/08/2023 18:20

I would be furious too op. It’s just simply unfair and actually insulting to leave all that for you and then shout at you, bugger off to the shops leaving you to make the tea, sort the mess and look after the kids!

No. A divorce level row would ensue in our house if that had happened.

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