I'm not sure if I'm being petty here .... sorry its long didn't want to drip feed..
SIL was married with two kids, in 2021 she visited us and said she was very unhappy with her marriage and was planning on leaving her DH, apparently he had a serious subsistence abuse problem (I'm not if I can say what, its white...) and she'd had enough. This was understandable, he was completely useless (and much more besides) and we were supportive.
A few months later she called and said she had met someone else and was having an affair; sure enough a few months after her DH found out and obviously it was awful, they live 30 miles away so while we didn't get the worst of it (he vandalised her car, caused trouble at her job etc) her DH suddenly decided that after 15 years of mainly ignoring us and DH's Mum, Dad & Nan he wanted to maintain contact, sending cards, making calls etc. all very awkward.. We still supported her, looked after her dog for months, lent her money when he cleared out the bank accounts, took her calls crying down the phone.
Within a matter of months she had divorced him, sold the house and moved her and her two children (14 & 19 at the time) into an expensive rented house with the new man. In February this year she called DH to say they are getting married - we have met the man 4 times and don't even know his surname, I have on many occasions tried to arrange things together but she's always too busy and after years of trying (with both the husband and the new man) I've given up. We received a wedding invite via WhatsApp's a few weeks ago (for the wedding in November) and that is our only involvement with the whole thing, tbh I'm a bit sore that DD (4) couldn't be a flower girl and they could at least put DH in an ushers suit but we were told the new man has a big family and hasn't been married before.
DH's parents are lovely (hit the jackpot there) but are now getting older, he also has a very elderly Nan, they do well but need support with things, ordering shopping deliveries, driving to hospital appointments, not many weeks go by without something, DH also takes DD to visit every weekend so he can do any jobs they need and they can see DD.
Two things have tipped me over the edge...
A few months ago the very elderly Nan had a fall and cracked some ribs, I went straight round (asked work for flexi time) and sat with them for most of the day while they waited for the ambulance to arrive, DH then visited her in hospital every day, checked on her house, spoke to the doctors, we took her everything she asked for: magazines, food, chocolates for the nurses, a phone charger. SIL visited once with a bag of sweets and all we heard about was how wonderful it was she had these sweets.
This morning at 6:30 DH got a call from his Mum to say his Dad had fallen and she couldn't get him up, DH drove round helped get his Dad up and downstairs stayed most of the morning (while he should have been at work) and he's going back this evening to help with some other bits and pieces. I asked DH if his mum had called the SIL and she said "No she's busy and I don't want to worry her"
SIL works Tuesday-Thursday from home, new man has only just returned to work after 9 months off sick (with high blood pressure so while obviously ill, not completely incapacitated) They do live further away, 30 miles, we live 15 miles away but I think she could be doing more.
I'm worried I'm being petty; SIL had a successful career, is very attractive, outgoing, sociable. Always seems to end up living somewhere amazing, throwing parties etc, DH and I do okay and I'm happy but in comparison we are probably very boring and I worry I'm just being jealous and spiteful, she deserves to be happy after all, the whole things just seems a bit odd and not enough of a reason to drop her family the way she has.
Unfortunately we also have a similar situation on my side, my Dad had a stroke at the beginning of lockdown and still needs support too and I have a sister who also also lives just far enough away to absolve any responsibility, so I think we might just be a bit frazzled with it all.