Romcom love - is it real?

[hopelessromantique]

I grew up adoring romcoms / Roms. It probably didn’t help that my dad was EA so I had a distorted view of relationships and films/tv were huge escapes

I am now almost 30 and married, currently TTC. I think my husband loves me and I know he’s never been as close to someone as me. But I also know that he definitely loves himself more in the selfish way. Whilst I hope he doesn’t cheat, I wouldn’t be shocked if he did. He doesn’t always think of me first and he doesn’t put my needs / wants above his. To an extent, I think he’s fairly normal - it just sounds harsh written down.

I can’t imagine someone being so in love with me as a person, that they just want the best for me in life even if it isn’t with them. I can’t imagine someone finding me so attractive that they just get absolutely blown away by me.

So does that intense, understanding, female-written-man exist?
I know all relationships have ups and downs and real life is far more challenging.

I recently looked at the Instagram accounts of the cast of a tv show I’m watching. It came up as a suggested. I got completely side tracked by the heartthrob character not being how I expected. He seems absolutely besotted with his girlfriend from pre-fame. Despite keeping up PR etc for his image, any non-promo posts are almost a dedication to her.

Likewise, an old colleague was very much the Main Character type. Very good looking, empathetic, and treated women the same as men (in my industry that’s rare as it’s male dominated). He once said how he wishes the company did more events with our partners as his girlfriend (now wife) is such a big part of who he is, everyone should get to know that in order to know him. I found it very vulnerable. I see a lot of times he goes out she will be there as all their friends are intertwined, lots of candid photos of her on their travels. Whereas my DH would ask me to move out the way of a nice background! He would also say he would want his own friends and that a “girl” being there is “weird”.

So does the Romantic Ending exist in real life? Mumsnet makes me think it doesn’t but I’d love to know thoughts

Honestly, OP, there’s a large middle ground between the romcom ‘meet cute’ and your husband, who, frankly, doesn’t sound at all nice. You sound as if you have very low standards if you married a man who’s this selfish and doesn’t seem that loving and admire a colleague for not mistreating female colleagues. I’d stop ttc and start thinking about what you want in a relationship.

Dont let Mn and romcoms blind you to the reality that there are good, loving, RL men who will be blown away by you.