What do you wish you’d done differently in your 20s

[JKDcot]

Random one. I wish I’d listened to my parents and seen a dentist and hygienist between ages 18- early 30s. I left it too long and have gum disease, bone loss etc. spent a lot of money trying to sort it now. But the story is always “the damage has been done”.

what does everyone else wish they’d done differently?

Honestly nothing. Life has turned out better than I ever expected or could have planned for, so I'd be scared to change anything in case I had a worse outcome. I did make a lot of good decisions in my 20s, but I've had a lot of good luck too. I just hope I can stay as lucky.

I second you on the dentist thing.

Also wish I'd been diagnosed with ADHD much earlier. Would have been life changing but very unlikely to have happened in my twenties. I tried in my late thirties and we fobbed off then!

Also wish I'd done much more raving. Best time of my life. Did not take enough advantage of it.

@HundredMilesAnHour how were you diagnosed?

I mean what led you to seek diagnosis and what treatment are you having?

Got stuck into a career I loved before I had children.

@BlastedPimples I have long Covid and as part of my return to work, I had a 2 hour assessment with a psychologist (to help identify what adjustments my employer could make to help support me with my cognitive issues and chronic fatigue) and at the end, the psychologist asked me if anyone had ever suggested to me that I might have ADHD. It was a complete surprise to me. ADHD isn't something I knew anything about (other than the stereotypical young boys running round being hyper) but when I read the materials he sent me, OMG it was my life!! It was earth-shattering for me. I was referred for an assessment and received my formal diagnosis a month ago. Just waiting to start titration.

Bought a house earlier (we used our money for holidays and going out, which was fun but we'd be in a much better position financially if we had another five years of equity paid off).

Alternatively, gone on more cheap holidays. We did some quite expensive ones and I wish we'd seen a bit more of the world before kids.

Started paying into a pension as soon as I started work.

Learned to drive an automatic rather than persevering with learning in a manual which I hated and never did once I passed. I would have had the freedom of driving so much earlier.

Drank less
Thought more about what sort of job I wanted - used the career service at Uni
Spent less money and began better financial responsibility

I wish I hadn’t had a relationship with ex , and I wish I had traveled more .

I wish I'd taken more photos of myself/ got people to take photos of me when I was at my most slim.

I was bmi 21 at one point but have no photos that show it!

Nothing. I think i did the best i could. With hindsight obviously things would have been different under different circumstances, but those circumstances were outside of my control. I'm mostly proud.

This for me too.

Contributed more to a pension earlier on.
Invested in a property earlier.
Travelled more.

Me too.

To not have wasted time (and a huge amount of energy) on getting a PhD. I had no idea how low the likelihood of getting an academic job was when I embarked on my PhD in my 20s.

I am now in an interesting and related career that doesn't require a PhD. However, I would have been in a financial position to start a family much earlier if I had gone into that career straight after my undergraduate degree.

Bought more expensive clothes
Gone on more random weekends away whilst I had no ties

Two things

Been careful with money (not much option when you have poor parents and live on your own from 18 but still, was not aware of the damage it would do later on)

Been careful with men (not much option when you're not modeled a good relationship by parents and on your own from 18, was not aware of the damage it would do later on)

These are the two most important lessons in life as far as I can tell

Taken more risks when holidaying abroad by going to risky places.

I did buy a house pretty early - I was just about 25. And we very diligently overpaid the mortgage every month and made cautious decisions which meant we could move to a larger house in our late 30s. We weren’t stellar earners, but comfy enough - I think when we bought our house our combined income was £55k. But now I wish I’d taken a few more risks and travelled a bit and had more fun. Conveniently forgetting we wouldn’t be living here now if we had.

oh and I wish I’d dealt with my weight properly then. It has always plagued me, and it’s now worse than ever.

Also wish I had worked less hard and dossed a bit more. I was so responsible.
Had my children younger

I wish I hadn't had relationships with complete tossers because I didn't think I deserved anyone better.

Invested in myself instead of in family who betrayed me when it mattered the most.

Should have told them to sort their own fucking mess out instead of wasting my youth trying to save them.

I'll live with the consequences and the bitter regret for the rest of my life.