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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WAIBU to accept this party invitation?

16 replies

Dontsquashthechocolatemousse · 20/08/2023 21:49

My son is starting primary school in September. I've met a few other school mums socially and am in a Whatsapp group with them. Most of the others knew each other already as their children went to the same preschool.

One mum sent an invitation for her son's birthday party to the Whatsapp group. It's a pool party. All of the other mums replied saying they couldn't make it. The mum who sent the invite was taking it in good humour it but was still obviously a bit stressed by the fact nobody was coming.

Now here is where I think I've made a faux pas... I felt so sorry for them. I said, if numbers allow, I'd love to come with my son. The mum said of course.

Now. My son has never met this boy. I've never met this boy either! Only his (really lovely) mum.

It looks like it's only going to be this little boy's family, and then me and my son. Have I made it awkward?? Will the family think "who are these random people who have turned up?"

I'm cringing a bit at myself. As awful as I felt for the boy and his mum - have I been a huge weirdo accepting the invitation?

(What's more - I only have a bikini to swim in. A bravissimo halterneck that's quite booby. That's inappropriate isn't it? I'm going to have to shell out for a one piece!!)

OP posts:
1stepforward2stepsback · 20/08/2023 21:50

I think that’s quite sweet, they could end up being great friends.

MakeItRain · 20/08/2023 21:54

No, it's fine! It's really normal to socialise with and get to know fellow new mums! You could message and ask/check if it's still going ahead, but I wouldn't worry about saying you'll go. She'll just think you're open to getting to know new people. :)

Coronado2 · 20/08/2023 21:55

A pool party for reception children isn't ideal, I imagine that put some of them off. No one really wants to get in their swimsuit in front of the other parents.

I think it's nice that you're going. If you think your bikini isn't suitable maybe just chuck a t-shirt over it?

minou123 · 20/08/2023 21:55

Very gently, I think you might be overthinking this.

If you do feel awkward (although I don't think you will), have a exit strategy.
Something like, stay for an hour or till the cake. Then say you have another appointment or a family member is coming to stay and quietly leave the party.

Upandonward · 20/08/2023 21:56

It’s fine and could be a good opportunity to meet and make new friends for both you and DS. Does the pool party mean parents definitely have to get in though? It could just be a paddling pool. You can alway pop a T-shirt over your bikini if you’re bothered about being a bit too exposed.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/08/2023 22:00

minou123 · 20/08/2023 21:55

Very gently, I think you might be overthinking this.

If you do feel awkward (although I don't think you will), have a exit strategy.
Something like, stay for an hour or till the cake. Then say you have another appointment or a family member is coming to stay and quietly leave the party.

Yes I agree

The little boy will be happy to have a new playmate there too

Dontsquashthechocolatemousse · 20/08/2023 22:03

Phew. Thanks all.

The t-shirt over the bikini idea is genius.

Yes, it's definitely a parents-in-the-pool party.

@minou123 Overthinking is my middle name! (that and Social Anxiety, if you couldn't telll...)

OP posts:
minou123 · 20/08/2023 22:06

Dontsquashthechocolatemousse · 20/08/2023 22:03

Phew. Thanks all.

The t-shirt over the bikini idea is genius.

Yes, it's definitely a parents-in-the-pool party.

@minou123 Overthinking is my middle name! (that and Social Anxiety, if you couldn't telll...)

We have the same middle name 😁

I think you and your DC are going to have a great time.

Bandyarsia · 20/08/2023 22:18

I read this twice and thought it was like snooker!

You will be fine OP and I bet they become fast friends.

Autieangel · 20/08/2023 22:18

You are a superstar! It's a horrible feeling when no one can come to your child's party it feel's really personal. What you have done is very kind. And it's only a few hours and you and your son might come away with new friends

Dontsquashthechocolatemousse · 20/08/2023 22:41

@Bandyarsia that made me LOL

OP posts:
MMorales · 20/08/2023 22:49

Nothing against you, but I'm surprised at a pool party for reception kids.

I'm not surprised that they havent got many people coming.

wineschmine · 20/08/2023 22:56

I don't know why you would feel awkward.

She invited you, did she not?

I would assume an invitation sent in a WhatsApp group is in invite to the whole group?

Clefable · 20/08/2023 23:02

I think it's fine. I invited a child and mum we had never met to DD's birthday because the little girl was due to join nursery the week or so before and I thought it would be nice to include them and we had space (another nursery mum had added them to the WhatsApp group). They just all ran around together like they'd known each other the whole time anyway!

Shame she got so many rejections, that's always my fear with parties!

surreygirl1987 · 20/08/2023 23:36

No, I think it's lovely you're going, and I imagine the mother is relieved! I'm not sure a pool party is the best idea for 4 year olds though... I'd go but be a bit wary. My son can't swim and is a bit nervous in the pool, despite having lessons.

Positive41 · 21/08/2023 08:37

Just the thought of having to get in a swimsuit in front of other parents would make me decline a pool party invite.

But its really nice that you have accepted. Have fun

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