To feel upset about housing situation (and how to get over it??)

[Hunkyd0ry]

Hello,

I am going to keep some details vague for obvious reasons but I want to know basically how do I overcome how I’m feeling (whether I am being unreasonable or not!)

I happily live with my own family about an hour away from my parents and sibling. They live about 20 minutes from each other.

my parents are building a house. My sibling asked to build one too (I wasn’t told) and so now they are building houses next to each other.

I am very happy where I am. We don’t want to move closer. I am unconcerned about the money, we have enough to get by and I know that when my parents eventually pass away they will even it all out.

what I am gutted about it being excluded. It’s already started. All the chats about builders and designs etc. all the excitement about what their homes will look like.

They are both going to have this life together, popping into each other’s houses, sharing everything.

It makes me think that I am going to be the outsider. That I will turn up and they will talk about the things they’ve done together and I will be the odd one out.

that I won’t get the same time with just my parents as my sibling will send their kids over or my kids will want to see their cousins all the time.

my parents are sad that I’m finding it difficult but don’t seem to really understand my point of view. I don’t have the best relationship with my sibling and haven’t spoken about it.

I just don’t know how to move on. I’ve got the next few years of building and the rest of my life with them together, a place where I’ve never lived but they will call home.

I’m not sure, jealousy is difficult to manage and is very damaging. You’re an adult now and this sort of sibling rivalry is concerning. I think it’s a shame you can’t be happy for them and interested in the designs, but have made it about you.

I don't know how old you are. But think of it as a blessing.

Just make plans to visit and share excitement as often as you can. You'll be involved in their lives but ultimately in later years you'll be called on less than a sibling living next door.

Instead of visiting your parents at their new home why don't you invite your parents over to see you and their dgc without their cousins around?

@Hunkyd0ry You can't help how you feel and you are not resentful, just feel unsure about your position in the family and sad about it. I am certain they all love you very much and if you spoke frankly about your feelings, they would reassure you. I wish you well.