This is my first AIBU and a bit of a preemptive one. Sorry to mention Christmas already…DH and I alternate Christmas but the issue is the years at his family aren't actually ever at my in-laws places they are always at his sisters SILs houses. Which means I spend those Christmases with people I barely know feeling like a total guest, I might see them at my DNs birthday parties but that is it other than Christmas ever other year. I’ve not said anything other than a grumble to DH as he is the younger brother and his family’s life tends to revolve around his older sister 1. Because she already has children and 2. Because her DH doesn’t compromise much so it would mean mil and fil having to chose. However we are now expecting our first DC and I really don’t want their christmases ever other year to be in a different family’s house with all their traditions and us feeling like outsiders. I would LOVE to have Christmas at SIL or MILS house just not at my SILs SILs house if that makes sense, I’m not related to them!
we want to offer to host at ours once DC on are here and to say that ever other time we are with DH family would be us hosting but it’s going to cause such an issue to rock the current boat and make MIL and FIL choose as I really don’t think my BIL would come to us he would want to be with his family as he is ever year. I wouldn’t invite BILs in-laws as, as nice as they are, to me they aren’t my family and I find it strange to always spend Christmas with them (plus invite one I would have to invite them all and i don’t have space for an extra 6 adults and I’m not even sure how many children - 10 ish on top of my actual in-laws)
so AIBU it’s totally normal to spend Christmas with your in-laws in-laws
or AINBU it’s normal to want to spend it just with your actual in-laws/family especially once DC are here