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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To drink at the weekend?

15 replies

MhairiLynette · 20/08/2023 19:00

On a Friday or a Saturday night if DH DC are staying with their mum and we don’t have work the next day DH and I enjoy a drink in the flat while listening to music. We do not drink with DC in the flat or if they are coming round early the next day. Nor do we drink if we are working the next day as DH is at the moment driving HGVS and he would never risk his license. A 30 year old work colleague asked me on a Friday a few weeks ago what I was doing after work and of course I admitted to having a drink with DH and listening to music. Unknown to me up to this point her DF had died due to alcohol abuse and as a result she was teetotal. Since she told me I have never admitted to drinking at the weekend again. I am however now in her eyes the devil incarnate and she refuses to engage with me over work related matters unless a customer is standing in front of us and takes great pleasure in ramming me into the shop counter with the excuse of getting past. Our manager’s reaction is we need to sort it out ourselves. AIBU or is she?

OP posts:

Conkersinautumn · 20/08/2023 19:07

make a huge show of saying, no no after you I don't want any more bruises from you. Every time. She's unhinged

Findyourneutralspace · 20/08/2023 19:08

You can do what you like with your weekends! She’s being very unreasonable. She can’t go shoving you around at work.

nokidshere · 20/08/2023 19:16

Since she told me I have never admitted to drinking at the weekend again. I am however now in her eyes the devil incarnate and she refuses to engage with me over work related matters unless a customer is standing in front of us and takes great pleasure in ramming me into the shop counter with the excuse of getting past. Our manager’s reaction is we need to sort it out ourselves. AIBU or is she?

Outrageous behaviour from her. Put in a formal complaint and/or ask for a conversation with her and both your superiors to sort it out.

SMM2020 · 20/08/2023 19:16

I feel like this is a very very VERY extreme response to having a very occasional drink...Jesus, if she worked where I do, she'd probably be booking an AA rep to see us all or be throwing us off the top of the building.

As someone who has had very close family become alcoholics and subsequently die from their addiction, I do not think anyone who has an occasional drink is a raging alchi. She's projecting onto you and it's simply not your issue to deal with.

I feel like this is being used as an excuse to just be a dickhead...also your boss needs to deal with the physical altercations. Definitely start keeping a log of that...honestly, 70% plus of the population drinks I reckon, how does she manage day to day in the outside world!

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 20/08/2023 19:19

She is being very unfair. Having a drinks on a Friday night, even if the kids were in the house is perfectly acceptable, normal behaviour. Her behaviour is neither acceptable or normal.

Cowlover89 · 20/08/2023 19:21

She's needs to get a grip and grow up!

pointythings · 20/08/2023 19:21

She needs to be stopped. My late husband was an alcoholic and abusive. I drink at weekends. What you're doing is fine. Your colleague needs to back off and get a fuckload of therapy. Start by calling her out on the physical stuff every single time.

Winnipeggy · 20/08/2023 19:42

Even if you are a raging alcoholic it's still none of her business

SpunkyGibbon · 20/08/2023 19:43

Your manager needs to manage , that's precisely why they are on better pay
Go back to them
Feel sorry for your colleague but it's not your problem to sort

Missingmyusername · 20/08/2023 19:45

Well she is monumentally in the wrong here and assaulting you at work.
Her background and home life is nothing to do with the workplace! Your boss is unprofessional too. Don’t you have a HR Dept? Is there cctv?

Autieangel · 20/08/2023 19:46

Record / photograph any bruising and report every time she doesn't have to like u but she does have to be cordial. See if you can arrange for a friend to witness her behaviour and complain about her to management

RitzyMcFitzy · 20/08/2023 19:51

She should seek counselling, because directing anger she feels towards her dead alcoholic father at a colleague who likes to have a glass of wine at the weekend, is off the charts ridic.

I'd be quite firm with her in telling her so too.

RitzyMcFitzy · 20/08/2023 19:52

and your manager sounds like an absolute wet wipe.

Original poster

MhairiLynette · 20/08/2023 20:07

Sadly it is a very small company, only 20 employees so no cctv or HR department. I’ll go back to my manager again though and say she refuses engage. Maybe he’ll arrange a meeting then for us to discuss the issue.

OP posts:

FlamingYam · 20/08/2023 20:19

You work with cunts. It is literally your managers job to manage this and she shouldn't be able to do this. People are allowed to drink once they have kids and she has no say in that.

Take this as a red flag and get a better job while making clear they are the problem.

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