To tell DH to leave the decorator alone??

[ParisFuryIsASaint]

Part of DH’s job is planting Christmas trees. He’s obsessed with them and talks in detail about them to anyone who will listen.

We have a decorator in at the minute and last week DH was literally following the poor bloke around going on about Christmas trees. I could tell the guy was getting bored and irritated but he was too polite to say anything! I tried a couple of times to tell DH to leave him to his work to which DH said he probably appreciated the company. I very much doubt this! It was relentless.

On Friday the bloke had literally just walked through the door when DH greeted him and asked if he’d had any more thoughts on the Christmas trees. The bloke visibly rolled his eyes and said “no mate, I’m too busy enjoying summer at the minute”. You’d think this would be hint enough but no, DH followed him into the study going on about how many he’d planted that week, how soon they’ll start getting ordered, how big they are etc etc

I managed to give DH a reason to leave the house so the bloke could at least enjoy his lunch in peace. He was sat in the garden and probably assumed I’d gone out too as i heard him on the phone saying “honestly he’s doing my fucking head in, I’m going to end up losing my shit. I feel sorry for his wife”. He then realised I was there, looked flustered and said “sorry, I thought you’d gone out” so I said “am I the wife you feel sorry for? It’s ok … I feel sorry for myself” and laughed. He laughed too and said “I’m so sorry, it’s just a bit hard to concentrate - I mean, he really likes Christmas trees doesn’t he?” We had a laugh about it and I promised him I’d talk to DH. Well I’ve tried and DH is telling me I’m wrong and that blokes like to chat whilst they work. I didn’t say what I’d heard because he might confront him but Christ, how do I get through to him that most people don’t give a shit about Christmas trees?? In summer!!!??

Decorator is back tomorrow, AIbU to tell him that him that NOBODY is interested in his trees and everyone is just being polite??! It will hurt his feelings but this bloke is going to end up quitting on us and he’s the 3rd one we’ve had in!!

This made me laugh but I feel sorry for your decorator. My husband is a carpenter and he can be quite blunt, I couldn't see him being as patient as your decorator. Could your husband join some of the Christmas obsessed Facebook groups? They might share his enthusiasm.

Can we have a "I plant Christmas trees. AMA"?

• Does he plant them all year or does he do other work too?
• How long do they take to grow?
• Has he considered renting a corner of a field from a farmer, planting a load and selling them himself? I mean, if you're doing the hard work of planting them, I'd like to harvest the money too.

Plenty down here in the South East. They sell other fruit and veg in the summer. (Not for me I prefer my artificial tree - nearly 30 years old and still going strong - now that's environmental!)

Oh dear! It did make me laugh though, sorry. The poor bloke being mortified at being caught on the phone and then you commiserating with him 😂 Get the poor guy to say he's Jewish or something and doesn't celebrate Christmas!

Yes! Uncle Colm!

'So I says to myself, I says Pete, what about trying to sell some of those Christmas trees? They're from Norway originally you know, now there's a lass down the road, Michelle her name is, went to school with our Angela, you know Angela whose Da joined the circus. Where was I? Ah Michelle, she went to Norway once. School trip, but they went on the ferry and it broke down so it did, so they all had to get off and ...'

Will the decorator be working in a room with a door that opens inwards?
Can you advise him to shut the door to the room and put a note on it saying 'danger, do not open - ladder and tools behind door'

And you tell DH that the decorator has said he needs to concentrate on what he's doing so can't chat, and you also give DH a load of errands to do to get him out of the house.

Diagnosis or not....... your DH sounds like he has Aspergers. In which case he probably can't take hints and will be really excited to talk about his trees.

Wow that’s really weird! I couldn’t be with someone who has such little awareness of themselves and how annoying they are. Why have two decorators been there before him? Did he do the same?! You need to either make a reason to get him out the house whilst the decorator is there or tell him what you heard as it’s massively cringeworthy!

Just reading the post makes me want to kill. How do you put up with him?

I very nearly didn’t click on this thread. I’m so glad I did 😂
Sorry, no advice, it just really made me laugh!

Me too 😀

Is your husband Clark Griswold?

Sorry but your DH is “just obsessed with Christmas trees”?!

nope. If it wasn’t trees I bet it would be something else. And I suspect you need to be blunt and clear to your DH about this. No “maybes, ifs or perhaps”.

just straight out “you’ve spoken enough about trees and it is too much. I know because I heard the decorator say. Now leave him alone please, so he can get on with his job”.

In a nutshell, your husband is

• following someone while talking about a subject that is intensely interesting to him but not to others

• has no awareness that the person he is talking to doesn't share his interest.

• is not picking up on social queues.

• is convinced that he is right and your perspective is wrong

There's an elephant in the room.

Is the decorator not a grown up? Can he not tell him to piss off?

My df used to do this to the workmen at my house. I told him I’m not paying my kitchen fitter to gossip with you. He backed off. Tbh the kitchen fitter was a neighbour, but ffs, I wanted my kitchen back.

Tell the decorator to pop some ear buds in, then tell DH that he had mentioned there's a podcast he really wants to listen to today, so let's leave him alone so he can listen to that while he works - got to be worth a try!

Exactly this.

I'd research autism if I were you OP.

In addition to the fact that the decorator is actually working, I am confused as to why people feel that trades aren't working and love chatting all day.