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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there must be dodgy financial activity going on with this couple?

274 replies

TurkeyTeethLookAwful · 20/08/2023 14:04

A couple that we know (but are not friends with as such) both seem to have a very extravagant lifestyle that is totally at odds with the jobs that they do.

The husband works as an assistant manager at a shop; not a superstore or anything like that, just a small branch of a chain store in the local town. The wife works two days a week as a hairdresser. They have four children aged between 16 and 2.

In the past five years they have:

Totally renovated their semi detached house to a very high standard. They have an instagram account about their home (not many followers, less than 200 so are not earning from that) and have tagged many high end products and tradesmen, such as a bespoke bed and 2k chandelier type light for the bedroom.

Taken multiple luxury foreign holidays per year; not budget holidays but five star holidays. And regular weekends away at Disney Paris, too.

They, and the kids always have very high end designer clothes; the woman wears dresses that cost £400+ when she goes on nights out, and on the holiday they are currently on she has posted on social media that she and her two daughters are all wearing matching swimsuits that cost £100+ each.

The woman has hair extensions, brow lamination, lash extensions, botox, fillers, nail extensions, and probably loads more stuff on a regular basis. All done at high end salons.

They have very regular expensive family days out and weekends away, such as travelling on the train first class to London to see a musical and then staying overnight in an expensive hotel.

In the past, I've known of a few other couples who live that kind of lifestyle and it's turned out that they are earning money drug dealing. This couple both absolutely do not have rich families; both of their families live in council housing. I feel like they probably have not had a lottery win as I feel that if they did, they'd buy a massive house, seeing as they like extravagance. I can't imagine a mortgage could be obtained or a house bought on drug money...

And yes, I know it's none of my business, but I'm curious.

AIBU to think they must surely be doing something illegal to have this lifestyle?

OP posts:
MavisBeacon1234 · 20/08/2023 16:28

TurkeyTeethLookAwful · 20/08/2023 14:04

A couple that we know (but are not friends with as such) both seem to have a very extravagant lifestyle that is totally at odds with the jobs that they do.

The husband works as an assistant manager at a shop; not a superstore or anything like that, just a small branch of a chain store in the local town. The wife works two days a week as a hairdresser. They have four children aged between 16 and 2.

In the past five years they have:

Totally renovated their semi detached house to a very high standard. They have an instagram account about their home (not many followers, less than 200 so are not earning from that) and have tagged many high end products and tradesmen, such as a bespoke bed and 2k chandelier type light for the bedroom.

Taken multiple luxury foreign holidays per year; not budget holidays but five star holidays. And regular weekends away at Disney Paris, too.

They, and the kids always have very high end designer clothes; the woman wears dresses that cost £400+ when she goes on nights out, and on the holiday they are currently on she has posted on social media that she and her two daughters are all wearing matching swimsuits that cost £100+ each.

The woman has hair extensions, brow lamination, lash extensions, botox, fillers, nail extensions, and probably loads more stuff on a regular basis. All done at high end salons.

They have very regular expensive family days out and weekends away, such as travelling on the train first class to London to see a musical and then staying overnight in an expensive hotel.

In the past, I've known of a few other couples who live that kind of lifestyle and it's turned out that they are earning money drug dealing. This couple both absolutely do not have rich families; both of their families live in council housing. I feel like they probably have not had a lottery win as I feel that if they did, they'd buy a massive house, seeing as they like extravagance. I can't imagine a mortgage could be obtained or a house bought on drug money...

And yes, I know it's none of my business, but I'm curious.

AIBU to think they must surely be doing something illegal to have this lifestyle?

It's absolutely none of your business. Why get worked up over other peoples lives?

BeverForget · 20/08/2023 16:36

OnlyFans, or similar, or living in masses of debt.

Jevwaypock · 20/08/2023 16:40

I don’t think it’s nice of you to presume they are dodgy, and like you said it’s not really your business.

JaceLancs · 20/08/2023 16:43

A couple I know made in excess of half a million playing online poker
they still make a reasonable income from it to keep them going
a distant cousin of mine got tracked down by a firm of heir hunters and ended up with 250,000 from a relative they didn’t know they had in another country

Toottooot · 20/08/2023 16:45

What kind of circles do you mix in that you’ve known other couples be involved in drugs therefore immediately suspect this 2? I’d be looking at who I associate with if it’s not a one off. 🤷🏻‍♀️

fuckmyuteruslining · 20/08/2023 16:46

Lottery. If they moved house it would be obvious to family etc. So they are just living a nice life.

TerfTalking · 20/08/2023 16:49

I haven’t read all the replies but I suspect there are lots saying it’s debt, inheritance and mind your own business.

I know someone very similar, the lifestyle he leads is ridiculous and doesn’t match his job. I do know it definitely is drugs, along with the odd stolen car and insurance job, money laundering across the Yorkshire/Lancashire border and anything else he can make grifting.

I expect at some point his world will come crashing down “and it will all have been a set up, I’m innocent I tell you”.

I am of the opinion that karma is real and the less you know the better.

CrystalCascade · 20/08/2023 16:52

ChristmasCrumpet · 20/08/2023 16:19

With all due respect if I was spending £50 in B&Q or Primark, or part buying a Kia do you really think I'd have commented on a thread nothing to do with that?

Car. Paid in full. If I hadn't bought that, the value would have bought probably only 2 long haul holidays (but that's for the 5 of us, to the standard we like). DH is high earner, so he typically pays for that sort of this.

Shoes. £550.
BBQ. £1350.

Garland. Large pre lit outdoor archway. £250. Rest of the decs and materials to finish doing it up, yet to purchase.

You really should try it.

Show quote history

You seem to be offended - my comment was not intended as a dig at you, just doing the maths. But you make what of it was you wish.

And in any case what you have explained still proves my point. Some of that is reasonably expensive. But it's still not on the same level as the OP couple, who seem to be buying lots of expensive things regularly.

I see you have the 'higher earning' DH. We are both higher earners. all the things you mentioned apart from the car we can cover with one payday. Car - not sure how much yours was but looks like a 4 year old Land Rover is 45K ish. That would take us close to a year.

This is not meant as a dig at you personally, or to compare, but to point out just how much liquidity you'd need to be spending that much. I can certainly see it coming from OF, escorts etc but not selling stuff. Over a period as you have done, maybe, but not at the level of their spending.

It's a bit like how, if you look at celeb salaries. 10 million net worth is a lot to ordinary people, but it's not actually enough to own a private jet, multiple yachts and mansions. that needs several hundred million. Most people can afford one thing or another, but not all of them at the same time.

CrystalCascade · 20/08/2023 16:53

oops fotgot to put all 'higher earners' in quotes

BiIIie · 20/08/2023 16:57

There's a lot of assumptions in your post

Roselilly36 · 20/08/2023 17:06

Eyesopenwideawake · 20/08/2023 14:13

Small lottery win - not enough to move but enough to blow through it on stuff. Their choice.

This, we have lottery winners for neighbours they are always having something done, good luck to them.

Mummy2mybear · 20/08/2023 17:07

Concentrate on your own life OP your far to invested in this family you sound obsessed.

CanadianJohn · 20/08/2023 17:10

Forever Living, or similar MLM. (Just kidding🙃)

MK19590 · 20/08/2023 17:11

I knew a family like this. He was a mechanic and she was a self employed stylist working 2 or 3 days a week. 2 adult DC in unskilled labour jobs

They were in £60,000 plus of debt

MK19590 · 20/08/2023 17:13

Or maybe they got rich on crypto currency

ladyvivienne · 20/08/2023 17:13

I know someone like this - the man works in a leisure centre and she's SAHM to multiple kids. Money a plenty.

Something doesn't add up!!

Every so often she puts a defensive post up on FB about how she spends her money is her business, but given her husband probably earns £40k at best, their entire lifestyle is not built on this.

Isitautumnyet23 · 20/08/2023 17:15

As others have said, lottery win. Might be something not big enough for them to move but big enough to give them an extension and all the luxuries mentioned? Even if I won a million, I wouldn’t move and it wouldn’t be obvious other than a few house improvements and holidays.

Glarptip · 20/08/2023 17:15

Lilithlogic · 20/08/2023 14:46

OK, I'll play. Hit men for Frey Bentos?

Those pies don't just fill themselves.

Badbadbunny · 20/08/2023 17:16

Drugs, money laundering, flogging duty free booze/cigarettes, or something sordid (online sex chat, selling used underwear etc) are the most common/likely scenarios. I don't think people realise how many are at it.

Fallingthroughclouds · 20/08/2023 17:17

Love how the OP seems to think she is going to get a finite answer from a load of randomers. She no wiser now than she was before she posted.

She just looks mean minded for accusing people of being criminals or prostitutes etc and petty for being so invested in other people's lives.

Why on earth does she think she has a right to know????

larlypops · 20/08/2023 17:17

Possibly trading or similar, a lot of my friends do it from their phone

HeatherMoores · 20/08/2023 17:19

Why on earth does she think she has a right to know????

People are curious about people though aren’t they?

CremeEggThief · 20/08/2023 17:20

I either say one of two things on these types of threads.

  1. Comparison is the thief of joy.
  2. Keep your nose out of other people's business.

Either way, YABU.

Fallingthroughclouds · 20/08/2023 17:22

Badbadbunny · 20/08/2023 17:16

Drugs, money laundering, flogging duty free booze/cigarettes, or something sordid (online sex chat, selling used underwear etc) are the most common/likely scenarios. I don't think people realise how many are at it.

Why assume the worst? They could have made money in property, inherited off their grandparents, made good investments, had different jobs in the past.

Or as you lot like to think a family doing well and providing nice things for their kids are drug smugglers or selling dirty underwear etc. If that's what you need to do to feel better about another families success, then that is just pitiful.

ChristmasCrumpet · 20/08/2023 17:24

CrystalCascade · 20/08/2023 16:52

You seem to be offended - my comment was not intended as a dig at you, just doing the maths. But you make what of it was you wish.

And in any case what you have explained still proves my point. Some of that is reasonably expensive. But it's still not on the same level as the OP couple, who seem to be buying lots of expensive things regularly.

I see you have the 'higher earning' DH. We are both higher earners. all the things you mentioned apart from the car we can cover with one payday. Car - not sure how much yours was but looks like a 4 year old Land Rover is 45K ish. That would take us close to a year.

This is not meant as a dig at you personally, or to compare, but to point out just how much liquidity you'd need to be spending that much. I can certainly see it coming from OF, escorts etc but not selling stuff. Over a period as you have done, maybe, but not at the level of their spending.

It's a bit like how, if you look at celeb salaries. 10 million net worth is a lot to ordinary people, but it's not actually enough to own a private jet, multiple yachts and mansions. that needs several hundred million. Most people can afford one thing or another, but not all of them at the same time.

Show quote history

I didn't feel the necessity to add that I do all the same beauty treatments, paid from my selling bits and pieces, but there's that as well.

I gave a few examples of exactly how I could afford what the OP states the other family appear to be doing.

They went on holidays and Disneyland, I bought a car.

If the maths doesn't stack for you, then there's not much I can do about that.