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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What is the etiquette car borrowing

49 replies

Bangbangchittychitty · 20/08/2023 10:45

My friend's car broke down, she doesn't have a lot of money and I told her she can borrow mine till she gets hers sorted. I am lucky we have two cars in my household, and we both work from home. She's had it for 3 weeks and she's just returned it with an empty tank. I wouldn't have expect a full tank but at least to leave it as she found it. I know money is tight for many of us so I am wondering AIBU?

OP posts:

brisedusoir · 20/08/2023 10:52

I'd have expected a pretty full car and a car wash for 3 weeks.

And im known as a push over

katmarie · 20/08/2023 10:54

A friend loaned me her car in similar circumstances. I made sure it was tidy and clean, and had a full tank, washer fluid topped up etc when I gave it back. It was the least I could do, she did me a huge favour.

Gizlotsmum · 20/08/2023 10:55

Assuming she borrowed it with fuel I would have expected at least the same amount left when returned

Conkersinautumn · 20/08/2023 10:57

Clean, hoovered, full tank, windscreen topped up air checked in tyres. Its just basic easy to do stuff. There'd be flowers/ wine/ chocs too depending on friends tastes if it were me

continentallentil · 20/08/2023 11:01

katmarie · 20/08/2023 10:54

This is what I’d expect.

Is she depressed? That can make it hard to get your shit together which might explain it not being cleaned. The empty tank is really poor though. I would more or less forget it but not be inclined to do her favours in future.

Sgtmajormummy · 20/08/2023 11:06

But, how are you all lending your cars when most UK insurance is driver specific??

yogasaurus · 20/08/2023 11:07

Yanbu, CF

GoingGoingUp · 20/08/2023 11:09

Sgtmajormummy · 20/08/2023 11:06

But, how are you all lending your cars when most UK insurance is driver specific??

Some insurance policies are driver rather than car specific. You can also buy short term policies. It really isn’t that scandalous…

professionalnomad · 20/08/2023 11:12

My mum always kindly lend us her cat when we're in the UK for holidays. I always return with a full tank and a full valet as thanks

PaperBlue · 20/08/2023 11:13

@Sgtmajormummy you can buy temporary insurance from places like Veygo, which means should that person have an accident in the car it doesn't affect the car owner's policy I believe. We used this when Ds was learning to drive in my car but it also covers full driving license holders too. There are several of them.

OP, I would expect clean and tidy with petrol at the very least. Flowers would be welcome too.

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 20/08/2023 11:14

Sgtmajormummy · 20/08/2023 11:06

But, how are you all lending your cars when most UK insurance is driver specific??

Easy to add temporary cover, I have borrowed my Mum's car in the past and just call up my insurance, or she does hers, sometimes it costs a bit extra but not much.

I would always return it with at least as much fuel in as when I borrowed it, and is at least as clean and tidy, anyone other than my parents I would buy wine/flowers/chocolate as a thank you too.

Original poster

Bangbangchittychitty · 20/08/2023 11:17

Sgtmajormummy · 20/08/2023 11:06

But, how are you all lending your cars when most UK insurance is driver specific??

She insured the car for the time she used it, plenty of companies do it

OP posts:

DomPom47 · 20/08/2023 11:18

If money is very tight for her and she apologised and said tank was empty I would be fine with this as I am then not surprised when I turn the car on and see the fuel light on.
I would however expect the car to be clean inside at least.

CrystalCascade · 20/08/2023 11:25

YANBU. It should be returned in the condition you lent it, tank included! I'd let her off if she did thank you properly.

SpanielsMatter · 20/08/2023 11:25

I lent my car to a TA when hers was needing urgent repairs ( she also needed to collect son from uni and hiring a car would have been a bind) and I was on a longish school trip. She was 30 odd years older than me so insurance came down and covered the ‘admin’ ( made up charge for not much work) fee. It meant my car didn’t stay overnight in a school car park in the middle of a rough estate.

It was returned in a state I didn’t recognise ( NQT year didn’t lend much to car cleaning), it had been hand waxed polished and cleaned to within an inch of its life inside and I got a lovely bunch of flowers. I also knew she would look after it better than I did.

If your mate couldn’t afford flowers etc a washed car is a minimum, the replacing petrol just should have happened.

MargaretThursday · 20/08/2023 11:36

If I was borrowing a car, which is a huge favour from anyone, then I'd expect to return it at least with the same amount of fuel in, and if I could possibly afford it, then topped up to the top.
I'd also make sure I cleaned it inside and out-that doesn't cost anything if you do it yourself.

Gothambutnotahamster · 20/08/2023 12:13

brisedusoir · 20/08/2023 10:52

I'd have expected a pretty full car and a car wash for 3 weeks.

And im known as a push over

Absolutely this! Although if money is tight for her, then just as much fuel in it as it had when you lent it.

At least you know not to lend it again.

liveforsummer · 20/08/2023 12:16

Sgtmajormummy · 20/08/2023 11:06

But, how are you all lending your cars when most UK insurance is driver specific??

Fwiw last time I added a named driver my policy went down. There are plenty ways it's possible. You can insure any driver, a driver can have their own insurance that covers them in other cars, short term policy to name a few

Honeyroar · 20/08/2023 12:44

GoingGoingUp · 20/08/2023 11:09

Some insurance policies are driver rather than car specific. You can also buy short term policies. It really isn’t that scandalous…

Show quote history

Yes I’ve just borrowed someone’s car and their insurance actually went down when they put me on (surprised us both!).

I will be returning the car soon. It will be spotlessly clean, filled up and will be getting a free service from my mechanic husband. And they’ll also be getting a bottle of their favourite whiskey and some chocs, it’s the least I can do, they helped me so much at a difficult time.

UndercoverCop · 20/08/2023 12:49

If she already had her own car which was off the road/being repaired etc she will have had her own insurance. Mine allows me to drive any other vehicle in accordance with my licence with permission from the registered keeper. So if for example I borrow my dad's car (as I did recently when mine was in the garage for nearly a week), I don't need additional insurance.
She's a CF OP, she should've returned it with at least as much petrol in it as when you gave it to her, and in her shoes I would've made sure it was spotless and given flowers/wine/chocolates or something to say thank you. You've really helped her out!

OneTC · 20/08/2023 12:50

Yeah my sister added me to her insurance a few years ago and was advised it was better to put me on permanently rather than for a short period. It made her insurance go down considerably

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/08/2023 12:51

Def full tank

I did this when mr brother lent me his car last year after my went poof

Least I could do

He said thank you

maddening · 20/08/2023 12:52

Returned full tank and clean inside and out

bevelino · 20/08/2023 12:53

Well she won’t be borrowing your car again.

Womblegreen · 20/08/2023 12:53

You have done her a massive favour. As a minimum the tank should be full and the car spotlessly clean inside and out, preferably with a thank you gift as well.

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