To think there’s no point being hungry if the weight isn’t coming off?

[Flaribeau]

The doctor has told me to lose weight because I’m at risk of diabetes. I’m absolutely starving but virtually no weight is coming off! I haven’t had a single biscuit or packet of crisps, no takeaways or alcohol at all, I’ve cut right down on carbs, I’ve started walking for an hour a day, and I’ve still only lost 2lb in an entire month.

AIBU to think being hungry is absolutely pointless if I’m not losing weight? Everyone says you lose loads in the first few weeks but I haven’t. I was expecting to have lost half a stone by now. I’m suffering for no reason because the weight isn’t coming off 😭

I am insulin resistant have PCOS and had gestational diabetes, 2-4 slices of bread a day is too many. You're eating the wrong things, up your protein intake and only eat small amounts of wholegrain carbs eg wholewheat pasta or brown rice. Potatoes and bread won't fill you up

A lunch or dinner I have that keeps me full (on keto) is a pork chop with a poached (or fried) egg and salad. I’m absolutely stuffed after that. If I do want some dessert after I’ll have a small portion of Greek yoghurt with some fresh berries.

My weight loss (cutting out carbs and sugar) is obviously working better than the OPs eating plan (three times better weight loss). I’m not deprived of food but that’s not to say there are tougher days (I can get sick of eggs and crave chocolate) but the evidence keeps me going.

I've lost 2 stone in 3 months by counting calories (I'm sticking to 1500 cals a day) and eating significantly more protein than you're having
I rarely eat bread as it doesn't fill me up
I'm also drinking at least 2 litres of water a day on top of any tea I have (I'm dairy intolerant so only have weak black or green tea, no milk

Have you worked out how many calories you're having a day?
Every day?

I know - but it’s so little! She’s obviously starving & no wonder!

Join Slimming world or Unislim.
Let them guide you what to do and get your peace back.

Try cutting right down on bread. One slice a day or no bread at all. You can eat a bit more rice and potatoes but certainly not large portions. Also try not eating anything after evening meal which shouldn't be too late.

I don't want to sound accusatory, but why don't you work, even part time?

You need other things to think about and occupy yourself with than food and you must be bored shitless, although you maybe don't realise it?

@Flaribeau I couldn’t shift more than 1lb that I regained and lost every month with just cutting food thanks to being peri then menopausal. I have finally started to see results by calorie counting and intermittent fasting.

I fast from 8pm to 12noon and genuinely feel better than I have in a long time.
Examples of my days (rough time scales):
1 black tea first thing with vitamins
2.5L water over day
2 coffees with semi oat milk (12noon/3pm)
12noon brunch
4.30pm snack
7pm dinner (400-600kcal)
7.45 if calories allow a square or four of dark chocolate or a few Jaffa cakes.

Brunch’s
Oat pancakes, yogurt, berries, honey.
Yogurt, granola, honey roast pineapple and mixed nuts.
Rainbow chicken and peanut salad.
Chicken Caesar salad.
Chicken and bacon club sandwich.
Scrambled egg, bacon medallions and 1 slice of seeded toast.
Lentil and veg soup.

Snacks
Apple with 15g peanut butter
Watermelon and 20g pecan nuts
Yogurt
Occasional packet of crisps

Dinners (120-160g of rice, potato, pasta etc)
Chicken curry and rice
Steak salad
Roast chicken, potatoes and veg
Chicken fajita salad
Chicken, ratatouille and baby potatoes
Chicken and rice soup
Cherry tomato and prawn linguine

OP the thing is even if you did start losing weight, this level of hunger isn't sustainable so the weight loss wouldn't be either.

I think you should calorie count to help you get a good sense of portions. Focus on volume meals - basically making portions bigger and more filling without loads of calories, so lots of veg. Also focus on protein, this is satiating and also uses the most calories to digest.

For example - salmon fillet, a little bit of boiled potatoes, but a mountain of broccoli (a whole head if you want) or green beans (a whole bag) or whatever veg you like (beware peas and sweetcorn, some root veg, as they can be more calorific). With salads, make them in a bowl as big your head. Seriously. But make the bulk leaves, peppers, mushrooms... Again whatever you like. Make sure you have a decent protein source with it. A decent amount of protein combined with a volume of fibre will help you feel less hungry. Rough protein aim is 1g per pound of your desired body weight. So if you want to be 140lbs, shoot for 140g protein. Leaner cuts of meat help with hitting that goal without too many calories. Fat free greek yoghurt whizzed up with a bunch of frozen berries is a high protein sweeter option that again will feel like a meaningful portion.

Drinks lots of water. Make sure you're getting plenty of sleep.

The dizziness may be the abrupt drop in carbs, it should even out with time.

I know I will be flamed for this, however, with this update, it is a case of OP getting a professional to help her with food and exercise to avoid diabetes VS full on diabetes.

Your family SHOULD be supporting you not sabotage you. You need to stop thinking food as the only thing you have in your life ( only a professional/ food therapy can sort this for you in time to avoid DBTs); they need to eat dessert when you are not around them, let them cook for themselves when you should no longer have a bigger meal etc etc etc. Good luck, you will need it.

Op you don't need just diet, you need therapy to deal with you being down and find coping mechanism whole implementing some diet

They’ve tested everything. No thyroid issues. I am 7lb over a normal weight for my height.

There is so much bad advice on the thread.
calorie deficit is the only way to lose weight. Regardless of what you eat, I can eat 1500 calories of crisps and chocolate or 1500 calories of fruit and veg and lose weight either way.
Choosing the healthier options is better health wise but weight loss wise makes no difference.
I have lost 5 stone and kept it off for 16 years m, apart from pregnancies.
Lots more protein will help to keep you full. I do eat less carbs when I’m trying to lose a few lbs but only because I don’t I don’t need it if I eat enough protein.
Download an app and weigh EVERYTHING you eat. I eat loads and lose weight. Yesterday I fancied 2 buttery crumpets, I weighed them and enjoyed them within my allowance.
You don’t need to cut by 500 calories a day either, start by working out your BMR and cutting 200-250 then up it if you need to.
Finally people who tell you that you won’t lose weight if you don’t eat enough because your body will hold onto everything, are, to put it politely, talking crap.

Cream Cheese on toast is very calorific. Swap it for marmite or even peanut butter. Up your protein. Protein fills you up and increases your metabolism. Lean meats and veg for dinner. Similar for lunch. Fat free yoghurts are great for puddings.

Eat more protein, baked beans on your toast along with your eggs in the morning. Lean chicken as a snack, low fat yogurt, one which is high in protein.

It's not how much you're eating, it's what your eating not making you feel full.

Ok so this is a big problem and will continue to thwart you in your weight loss attempts.

You sound like you're generally really hard on yourself OP and you sound unhappy.

What do you like to do? What could you add to your life that's for you, that brings you joy and gives you something to focus on and do that isn't eating?

Do you like to swim, craft, take photos, write, learn new skills (loads of free courses online Coursera, cybrary, open university) or look up adult education courses in your area for languages, art, computing, upholstery, brick laying.....?

Have you spoken to a GP about your feelings? You are worthy of happiness, you don't deserve to feel unloved. You may need some help, anti-depressants or counselling.

Ok, well that sounds shit @Flaribeau.

I really love food, but it's not the only thing in my life.

It might be worth looking at some therapy.

Is your relationship good? It seems as though you're doing everything for you husband. What's he doing for you?

MFP is notorious for not being accurate. The only way to know how many calories a slice of toast and butter is, is to weigh it.

You are just 3.5kg overweight? So are you pre iabetic actually or did the doctor juat say that if you keep gaining you will be in risk?

Is that a typo?

Because if you're only 7lb overweight, then your weightloss will obviously be a lot slower than if you were 7 stone overweight...

I hope this isn't yet another goady thread designed to get a load of attention from people who end up wishing they hadn't bothered.

Bulk up on fruit , veg, and protein at every meal including pulses. Aim for 8-10 fruit and veg a day. No one eating 10 a day will be hungry.

Lay off the processed foods (white bread, shop soups, white rice). white toast in particular is awful for me. It is delicious, fills me up briefly and within 2 hours my blood sugar drops and I am shaking with hunger.

I lost over 15kg in a year eating like this and I now find my food tastes have changed completely.

"DH especially wants a large evening meal. [...] nobody except my kids has ever loved me."

Your DH doesn't love you? I think you need to make some big changes in your life, and diet may be part of that.

As everyone else has said, far more protein and far fewer carbs. Look at macro nutrients, not just calories. Feel full for longer. Eggs are good. Protein powder can be a big help.

It just sounds like you need more structure and guidance about what to eat, and when. Utilising high protein and low GI foods will keep you feeling fuller for longer and reduce carb/sugar crashes that will leave you inevitably feeling 'faint' or noticeable hungry not that long after consuming them. It isn't about "eating less" or "starving yourself" it's about switching to more helpful choices, understanding the calorie and nutrional benefits of what you're consuming and making an overall reduction in calories - that does not always mean tiny portions, it means tiny portions of things that have little to no benefit and a balanced diet elsewhere.

Exercise needs to be introduced if you meaningfully want to lose weight the best way is to burn calories through exercise (even walking) and reduce the calories across the day consistently.

Hang on, you say you're only 7lb over a normal weight for your height, so are you even overweight? The less weight you have to lose the slower it is to shift.

People losing 2+lbs a week are stones overweight.

So you need to control youre glucose levels rather than lose weight.

Controlling glucose is all about quality of what you eat and when. Go to diabetesuk.com and look at some of their daily food plans.

OP your update makes so much sense and explains your rather dramatic posts.

Will DH get on board with a change of diet if it benefits you all?

It sounds like because you are scared you are restricting somethings too much and others not enough. Being scared and stressed also won't do your metabolism any good. You need some real life support, preferably by someone who is experienced with adults with ASD. My mum is prediabetic and her GP put her on a programme, she's got some new fancy scales and a diabetic friendly cook book from the programme and the meals are great.

How does food normally feature in your day-to-day life?

Do you eat at the table or use tv/devices whilst eating? Being present and free from electronic devices means you notice what you are eating and are less likely to become hungry.

Can you find an activity to do as a family, martial arts or just take the children swimming in the evening to avoid being peckish but pack some healthy, high protein snack for afterwards.

Start to find join in other things. Do you have any outdoor space you can use to grow veggies for next year, the physical toil of working the earth and growing your own food will do your MH the world of good.

It sounds like you have massively low self esteem and it's likely that will need some work to change your mindset on food. You deserve to be healthy, you deserve to be fit and your children deserve a mum to be healthy and fit and in their lives a long time. Once you've kept up your new habits for a few months and your body adjusts you'll start to feel better.