To think there’s no point being hungry if the weight isn’t coming off?

[Flaribeau]

The doctor has told me to lose weight because I’m at risk of diabetes. I’m absolutely starving but virtually no weight is coming off! I haven’t had a single biscuit or packet of crisps, no takeaways or alcohol at all, I’ve cut right down on carbs, I’ve started walking for an hour a day, and I’ve still only lost 2lb in an entire month.

AIBU to think being hungry is absolutely pointless if I’m not losing weight? Everyone says you lose loads in the first few weeks but I haven’t. I was expecting to have lost half a stone by now. I’m suffering for no reason because the weight isn’t coming off 😭

Ops had loads of great advice but also a lot of excuses so I don't think she's going to take any of this advice and use it. Just remain angry.

I would suggest starting resistance training alongside a calorie deficit of no more than 500 calories. Ensure you are eating 1g protein per pound of body weight (or your target bw if very overweight). One of the reasons we gain weight as we age is because we lose muscle mass from around 30y if we don’t make a concerted effort to maintain/build it.

I lost around 4.5 stone through a low calorie diet (1200 cal) and running 50+ miles per week. I only lost the last stone when I started lifting weights and now maintain my weight on over 2000 cal and, weight training and no running. Plus my body is a much nicer shape than it was.

I agree!

People have gone crazy using cauliflower for everything! Pizza base, steak etc. Just have less of what you want!

Also OP I found that I could have smaller meals of what I want easier than I thought. I wanted the flavour, not the quantity. So instead of a massive plate of curry and rice, I'd have it in a bowl, which was a smaller portion, but I didn't realise.

I also have wine, donuts, take aways etc, I just have less and fit it in my calories (I was surprised howany cals donuts have, they are a lot lower than I thought!) You may be able to find other breads that are lower, wraps, pitta, flat bread etc.

OP this is hard, but losing 2lb is great! Please, you're being incredibly hard on yourself. Maybe see your GP and ask if there is any support you can access. Others posters are right that there are competitive under-eaters on AIBU. Ask Mumsnet to maybe move this to weightloss, or post in there. It's a more supportive atmosphere there.

It’s too much bread.

Philadelphia is also very fattening and so is Greek yogurt.

why not make an omelette to start the day? Or scrambled eggs with salmon on the side?

Then have a snack of some nuts in the day (roasted without salt) and whole fruits (no smoothies).

Then a grilled meat salad filled with spinach, lots of veggies etc. Eat as many veggies as you can.

If you have to eat rice go for wholemeal, not white rice. Cut the bread completely - it’s sugars and preservatives. It will make you bloat and give you a tiny amount of energy.

Also try and find a body scanner that gives you an accurate estimate of how many calories you need to lose weight and track them.

I’m a size 12 and weigh 66kg. If I want to MAINTAIN my weight I need 1370 calories. I am for 1200 a day to lose weight. I was 55kg. My normal fluctuation has been 52-58kg and I’m currently 7m post partum.
Ignore the 2000 calorie nonsense - it’s a load of crap.

Also if you cut the bread, sugar, and fatty foods you can be very full (and you can make it last) - eating vegetables, lean meats without sauces, whole fruit and no juices/smoothies, milk, nuts, pulses etc.
Go back to basics - Only eat things you make, so if you want bread, make it. That way you’re cutting processed food out. Also you’re unlikely to want to make biscuits, bread etc from scratch so it’s a good deterrent.

If you are only 7lb over weight for your height @Flaribeau whay was it that made the Dr say you are at risk for diabetes? What was your hba1c?

This is important in working out what is going on and the beat way to lose weight or reduce your risk. There's things to do that reduce your risk which aren't just weight loss.

If you’re only 7lbs over a normal weight then just carry on what you’re doing.

You only need to do it for 3 months and then you’d be in the normal weight range.

If you went on a crash diet then you’d end up putting the weight back on. You are doing it sensibly and therefore will keep it off.

You are not at risk of diabetes by being over by just 7lbs.
Either you have a family history of it and may need to track your sugar and carbs (the Mediterranean diet is meant to be fantastic) or you doctor is a bit of a tit and just simply read off the BMI chart. My friend was also told she was overweight even though she’s a size 8, eats healthy and goes to the gym 5 days a week, simply because the doctor read it off the BMI chart.

Please take a look at Team RH on Facebook. They really know their stuff when it comes to weight loss. You will need to work out your maintainence calories then deduct from that. It is so important to count calories. Burning more calories than you put in is the ONLY way to lose weight. However you do need to make sure you are eating enough depending on your activity levels. High protein and high fibre foods will keep you fuller for longer, so look at protein/fibre content in your meals, and fill your plate up with veg/salad to bulk up your meals.

At only 7lbs overweight, that is not the issue. It's your way of eating that needs to change. To be pre-diabetic at that weight you've likely been eating really unhealthily. You need to focus on gaining healthy eating habits first before you start reducing calories. Work on adding high-fibre veg to your meals, lean protein, and healthy fats (olive oil, avocados, certain nuts). Measure and limit dairy and processed foods. You can still have your chocolate, wine and bread. You just need to have them occasionally rather than daily. Once you get metabolically healthy, then you can work on losing weight.

2lb is 2lb, that's nearly a kg. It takes ages to lose weight, it just does. Think of it also as not gaining weight. you said yourself, when you went back to your old pattern of eating, you piled on loads of weight. That's what will happen if you start eating lots again. Keeping steady, plateauing where you and sit there for a while, then have another go at losing a bit.

If you are in danger of diabetes, then even staying the weight you are is an achievement.

Personally, I'd eat more rice with that dinner. I'd also eat fruit/FAGE 0% yog and oatbran/seeds for breakfast, I like this anyway though. Boiled eggs or any eggs actually are fab.

Don't be afraid to eat normal food. you can't keep up starving for ever, you need to come up with a normal way of eating, regularly, that works in the long-term. I know in my case this means eating three meals a day and one snack, but they tend not to be super-high calories, I prefer the frequency and not being hungry on going to sleep, but it's not quick weight loss.

Good luck!

when you starve yourself/don't give your body enough calories, your body will start storing more fat because it thinks you are in danger of dying from hunger

Try slimming world, or follow their diet if not joining. No calorie counting and you won't be hungry as you can eat as much as you want pretty much from their list of foods/plan. Worked for me and a number of friends. You don't have to join, you can Google their plans. Maybe also try some run/walk intervals (NHS couch to 5k style, but don't need to do the whole thing) to get heart rate going as well.

Ditch some of the carbs.

Have 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast. If you need more food have some grilled tomatoes, mushrooms or very lean bacon.

Lunch - have homemade soup so you know what has gone into it - avoid potatoes inc sweet potatoes in the soup. Have beans and lentils to help fill you up.

For dinner have your protein with loads and loads of veg.

Drink plenty of water too.

I think you need to keep away from bread and pasta. I’d say basmati rice is ok in moderation. You should be able to lose weight eating like this.

It's not really a weight issue if you're only 7 pounds over.

It's more an overall health concern? I'd focus on eating healthy nutritious foods and staying active over weight loss.

Stop weighing yourself, it's making you feel bad. Focus on getting enough vegetables, exercise, sleep and recreation rather than dropping pounds.

I found cutting out white bread and sugar was on thing that worked for me. I'm careful how many carbs I eat a day and find having a protein rich breakfast (usually plain Greek yoghurt with a spoon of almond butter, sprinkling of berries and chia seeds) helps ward off hunger until lunch. I don't count calories I just eat to live, I've lost 8 stone over 18months. It was hard at first, but once I just got my head around being healthy over dieting it started to drop off. I have also got more active over my weight loss journey. When I've dieted in the past I tended to basically starve myself, lose weight and then gain twice as much.

I agree having read the updates.

Being autistic adds a whole other dimension too.

Well done for trying to sort it out. That’s such a big step. Most people just stick their head in the sand - me included with my smoking.

I would go back to your doctor and ask for their support. I don’t think your feeling hungry. I think you are having a blood sugar / insulin issue. Which is not surprising because that’s exactly what diabetes is.

Don’t give up sorting this. Go back. Book the appointment today and between now and when you get to the appointment make a food diary. Explain your symptoms.

Goodluck

I have PCOS and insulin resistance. I could never get on with smaller portions, once I start eating it's like the flood gates open and I'm wanting to eat anything and everything.

Fasting worked for me. I can happily go for 36 hours without eating and feel fine. I dropped 2 stone quite quickly and then fell pregnant after 8 years of trying.

Wow OP I think the diet has sent you insane. I'm sorry you're so miserable. It IS miserable. I really struggle to lose weight too. I feel you.
To me your diet sounds all wrong - a lot of very simple carbs which will just hurtle you further towards the diabetes you're terrified of. Skip breakfast (call it 16:8 if you must - fasting is brilliant for your blood sugar levels), no bread for lunch (especially if you're scared of diabetes), normal dinner. You shouldn't be starving if you swap your simple carbs for either more complex carbs or protein.
My mum has recently been diagnosed with diabetes and still eats bread, chocolate, sugary yoghurts etc. I despair. You have to help yourself! (Which I know you're trying to do OP).

"I do think about food too much. It’s literally the only pleasure in my life, and that’s been the case for many years. I wake up looking forward to breakfast, I look forward to everything I eat. Because I have nothing else. I’m trapped at home with kids, no friends or job because I’m autistic, and nobody except my kids has ever loved me. The only joy in my life for many years has been chocolate biscuits and wine and carbs."

That really touched my heart, it's so sad! Maybe this is key to getting where you need/want to be with your health: developing joys (or even small happinesses!) elsewhere in your life? It will mostly likely take some work to deleop those neural pathways, but you're already doing something hard (dieting and feeling hungry).

As an aside, I wonder if something like couch to 5k might suit you better than an hour of walking? Doing more intense exercise has the benefit of burning more calories, and I believe it can be a bit of an appetite supressant (I know that's counter intuitive!). I went from really hating exercise to being an avid runner over the last 10 years or so. It brings me immense joy (i never thought I would say that!).

Everyone saying 7lb over is not a problem - thin people still get diabetes you know!! It's not solely to do with weight. There are tons of thin people with T2D. OP's doc will obviously know more about her risk factors than a bunch of MNers.

Just to add, can you find little pleasures with any of your other senses (smell, touch, sound etc)? eg I love curling up with a squishy soft ball of yarn for some crocheting. I love techno. I love the smell of my essential oils in a diffuser. I love looking out of my window in the morning, etc.

Oh and one more thing, which might have already been mentioned, but how about intermittent fasting, like only eating between 12 and 8pm? That's meant to be really good for reducing diabetes risk!

there was a show that followed people round who claimed they couldn't lose weight and they didn't know why. the show revealed that they were eating a lot more than they realised. more than lunch and dinner, big portions, loads of visits to the fridge. Write down exactly what you eat

Alternative suggestion - eat normally and instead of walking daily start jogging/swimming/play a team sport. Something that gets your heart rate seriously up and keeps you moving for 45 mins+.

Can sympathize with the gluten-free misery - it is tough.

Also keto worked great for us once but not sure how suitable that is for you as a pre-diabetic.

Keep an eye on drinks too. I have a full coffee addiction, made with whole milk and 2 sugars. I was consuming close to half the days calories in drinks some days