Am I an abnormal mother?

[JMSA]

I am a single parent to 3; two are teens and one is a young adult. All 3 live at home.
Let me begin my saying that I love my 3 very, very much. They are first and centre of my world, and I'd do anything for them. I'd describe myself as a kind, calm mum who is always there for them, and I'm pretty sure they'd say the same too.
But here's the thing. They are on holiday with their father, exactly halfway through a 2 week break abroad. And I don't miss them at all. In fact, I dread them getting back.
I am absolutely loving being on my own at home. This feels like the life I was supposed to lead. I come home from work, and our home is still tidy and clean. I haven't had to do a washing for days, nor worry about dinner. The dishwasher is nowhere near full. There are no demands on me. And I absolutely love it.

I think it's normal and natural to enjoy the break. This doesn't happen every year, not for two weeks anyway! But it's the not missing them that concerns me and makes me feel bad.
I honestly can't wait for them to leave home, now that I've had a taster of what this feels like.
My young adult is great, but the teens are bloody hard work. And it mostly all falls down to me. This isn't solely a question of chores though. I simply love being at home on my own.
I strongly suspect I'm menopausal, which probably doesn't help.
AIBU? I'm really hopeful that someone out there can relate, and that I'm not a total freak.
Thanks.

I absolutely agree with you. In the very Tara occasion all mine are out of the house I absolutely revel in it. The teenage years have been very hard for me whist I loved the baby, toddler and young child stages. With teenagers I feel like I want to gauge my own eyes out with a teaspoon some days.

My youngest has a severe disability, has driven me to a breakdown, I still look forward to being around him when I haven't seen him for a while.

Anyway, I knew someone would jump on me for giving my opinion. I didn't insult anyone, everyone is different and that's OK, isn't it?

I always say to mine I can't miss you if you don't leave!

I love my 4 dearly but I really look forward to the times they're all out at the same time. Our eldest is off to uni and will be staying in uni accommodation. Yes I'll miss him. Yes I'll worry about him but I'll also enjoy the extra space and less washing! When they're staying with family I like not sitting/standing in wee when I go to the bathroom through the night.

Our youngest is 8m so it's very rare I've an empty house. He spent the day with my sil yesterday so I could have a rest as things have been crap lately and our 16yr old decided that was the day he wanted to lounge in the front room with me. I was irrationally annoyed by this 🫣

Don't have stats on what's normal and abnormal but I have always been glad to have breaks from my children. I am so looking forward to my youngest growing up and leaving, I am soooo tired of teenage drama.

My DH always takes our children away without me (for various reasons) and I love it! He takes them away about twice a year and this has been going on since our eldest was about 3 years old. We have two children aged 6 and 9.

I do miss them when they’re away……but oh god, the benefits certainly outweigh the negatives.

They’ve just been away for 3 weeks and I will admit that as the date of their return was nearing I was feeling a bit disappointed about the freedom and peace I would no longer have.

However,when they came back I was so, so happy to see them!

I think it’s completely normal to enjoy your own time and space and regards to how you feel about them coming back, the difference with me is that I’m not a single parent with teenagers so I can only imagine the challenges that would come with that, so I’m certainly not going to sit in judgement about the feelings you are having about their return.

You aren’t abnormal at all, you are just having a natural reaction to being faced with the return of a life that you may find challenging.

I dont see anyone Jumping on you at all.
I did say, that depends. Didnt i?
Whereas you are the one that said its not normal
It is.

Sounds like you are normal and need more time to yourself? Or your own hoildays?
Can dad not take them on more frequent basis.
I love holidays when your routine and responsibilities are only yourself, all Mums deserve that.

OK I'll rephrase it, "I knew someone would feel the need to respond to my comment" and "in my experience, it isn't normal." :)

That is because its a discussion forum.
Nothing more in it than that.

Good for you OP. Enjoy it

Not abnormal at all OP,enjoy your well deserved break!

We've gone from a household of 7(we have 5DC)to a household of 3,our 4 oldest all have they're own places now so there's only me,DH and DD15 and on bad days(when everyone was still at home)I couldn't wait for the house to be a bit quieter and calmer and I did enjoy it but now I get times where I'd give anything to go back to when they were all little, I'm pre menopausal and I swear it's got to be to do with that.

So enjoy your break whilst you can and then once they're back make a change get the teenagers to help out more and if you can think about booking yourself into a hotel now and again,it needn't be expensive or for along time but even a night in a premier Inn where you don't have to cook or clean can be a nice break from the usual.

Nope, not at all. I co parent my dc and when they are with their dad I thoroughly enjoy my alone time.
I know they're safe and happy there, usually get daily updates and am pleased to see them when they get back but no, enjoying the freedom, safe in the knowledge that they are happy elsewhere is completely normal I think.

Mine are all pre school aged so this is so far off for me. I had such an emotional reaction to your description of coming home to a clean house.

I lived alone for a year before I was married- my god did I love it. I loved having everything just so. Coming home to everything where I left it. Cleaning up after only myself. I did laundry once a fortnight. Would prepare meals and snacks for myself and they would still be there when I opened the fridge. No Lego or cheerios on the floor. No pairing a million socks.

It's really nice to read your post and realise that my life might give me all that again one day!

Not abnormal no. Teenagers are hard work with very little reward.
I've never had mine taken on holiday. I had 1 night off once but had to work and another 2 night break but that was not alone.
So very little 'me' time in the 18 years I've been a mum and I highly suspect I'd feel exactly like you

Not abnormal, a lovely relaxed mum!

I’ve just waved my older teens off for 5 days away with their Dad, and I’m chuffed. No one to worry about other than me, oh and the cat.

Now the cat is a different story, I love her too much and would pine if she went away for 5 days 😳😂