AIBU to end things before holiday?

[roughwavejule]

I’m no longer attracted to my BF (32M). He’s very unmotivated, immature, and untidy. Last weekend, we bought enough spirits to make two different cocktails but I felt tired and wiped out after a long work week that we only opened one set of spirit and had two drinks each. When I arrived out this weekend, 2/3 spirit bottles were empty and I asked did he drink them all by himself and he said he was having “little tipples” in the evening. He also regularly (daily) smokes weed.

The sex has always been disappointing but I felt I liked him enough to look past it, but I really can’t! He’s very unfit and stops a lot. He keeps call me baby and girlfriend every second sentence i.e. “hi girlfriend, my beautiful girlfriend” and I get the absolute heebie jeebies from it!

We’ve broken up and made up too many times for a short relationship (5 months) but I’m at my widths ends and can’t bare to even be around him anymore. He’s in bed right now while I’m in the sitting room. Here’s my issue we have a non-refundable 7 day holiday booked next weekend and I think we tried to stay together for the sake of that but it’s just not working at all. I know it’s all one sided because he thinks it’s all sunshine and rainbows!

Last night he suggested getting a chinese but I had already ate and told him to order himself one. We pulled up outside the chinese and he asks me to pay for it as a treat for him!!!

I’m thinking of sending him a message (I could never do it in person because of the type of person he is and I genuinely wouldn’t know how to comprehend his tears or his potentially erratic behaviour), returning his share of the hotel, and letting him know that I really can’t do this relationship anymore. This was my holiday to begin with and he decided to join, I’m not stopping him from going but I rather we didn’t go together.

If I can’t even enjoy a night with him here, how can I enjoy 7 abroad?

I, the fool, gave him the £10 for his chinese!

Yep dump and refund and go on holiday as planned.

you’re right there is a chance he will get on the return flight but it’s low and you can deal with it if it happens.

"Little tipples". Ick right there!

Dump and refund minus the £10!

Maybe he can get a credit from the airline to use on another flight?

If he smokes weed every day how would he cope without it for a week on holiday? Sounds unlikely he'll turn up on his own from what you've said.

I hope you can escape from his house soon, sounds awful!

Little tipples had me too 🤮

Dump him. He sounds awful and you’ll just hate the holiday otherwise. Give him the money for his side of the accommodation minus the money you spent on the drinks he drank some and his Chinese you paid for.

enjoy your holiday op! I love a trip alone - glass of wine, a good book, sunshine and peace and quiet.

Ick. Dump.

Hi All!
Just an update, I’m currently sat on the bus home. I met his dad on my way to the bus stop and we had a lovely conversation to the point where I was second guessing myself because his dad is so lovely. He asked about the holiday and I replied as if we were going to go on it though I know we’re not. I know myself I need to leave so I got on the bus and I’m sat here filled with a bit of guilt and regret. Someone slap me!

Send the message...now!

You're supposed to be in love and excited about being on holiday together and having a blast.

Not feeling guilty to stay with him.

My DS broke up with GF a few weeks before holiday. I had paid for the hotel, and they paid their own flights.

She still went!!! He saw her at the airport both ways, but she had obviously booked her own accommodation. DS took a mate instead.

You are doing the right thing. Just be calm but firm.

I had an ex whose mum was one of the nicest people I've ever met. Sweet, kind, thoughtful. I'd have loved her as a MIL. Unfortunately her son just wasn't the one for me and didn't have the same qualities I loved in his mum. He wasn't a bad man at all, we just were not the right match.
I'm very happily married (20 years) to DH who had the worst parents in the world unfortunately. Still wouldn't change DH for the world.
You don't fancy your partner. He's a knob who gives you the ick. The sex is crap. It's not going to get better. I'd get home and text immediately-rip the plaster off and get it over with. It will be a huge relief.

There’s smoke shops over there so he wouldn’t be long without. He said he’d prefer to take a harder substance than weed because he could “take or leave” the weed abroad and the harder substances are very easily found over there too.

If he asks you why, I hope you say " I just remembered that I don't like guys that smoke!"
Hope it all works out ok for you and for your holiday OP. Sounds like you are totally doing the right thing.

Hi All!

BF came on the holiday. We decided to see how the holiday would go together and if we could actually function as a couple together now his commitments are finished. Before anyone says it, yes, I am a fool!

He wasn’t happy with the accommodation I booked and thought it was small, and the pool was dissapointing (in fairness it was very modern and nice but the pool did have a section cornered off for some unknown reason).

Yesterday was his first night. We all went to dinner together and split the bill three ways. Rather dividing it equally between the 3 (we had about the same), BF decides to split it into 3 and even goes as far to half the jug of sangria we shared together.
Anyways, we (cousin & I) had to bring home to bed because he was so drunk and falling asleep in the bar.

In the midst, I seen 4 missed calls from a girl telling him to answer as she had important news to share. I asked why she was calling and he said he was unsure as she knew he was on holidays and would’ve been on the plane at that time. He & this girl have been friends for a couple of years and lived together during uni, she’s American and has since moved back to America but offered to fly my BF out and let him live with her (all paid). BF said it was innocent and they’re like siblings and there’s nothing more to it, BF was also the same person who when we first started dating said men & women can’t be friends as there’s always another motive.

We broke up. He insisted on keeping the apartment but is now debating flying home early. He is obviously mad and said the issue with this friend was already there and he shouldn’t of come on the holiday etc and is unable to enjoy it as he is alone, and wasted his savings and annual leave on it (he bought me out at a discount).

Now I’m sat by my cousins pool, semi teary eyed, semi debating going home to the rain! Naturally I feel upset and depressed.

It’s safe to say I’ll never forget this holiday

I'm sorry the holiday hasn't worked out. Stay without him and have a nice time with your cousin.

On the bright side, you know it's definitely over so can move on guilt free. Remember, you deserve better.