To not want my kids to be like me

[2007emokid]

I haven't don't badly.
Had my first DC young, but married well.
DH is amazing, the perfect husband. puts us first in every decision.
I've done alright, decent job but not where I could have been if I'd made better choices. We've bought a house which is more than my parents managed. He's done fab too, he's outdone anything his parents ever expected and more. We've supported each other to get where we are. I'm at uni, which wouldn't have happened without his support and encouragement. He's due for promotion again. I don't for one second regret anything, it all led to our wonderful life, which honestly, I wouldn't change, ever, but it was luck, not skill, that got me here, and I want more for my kids. I want them to experience college, uni, long before kids, if ever. I want them to choose the way life takes them, not have it thrust upon them. I don't know if I'm making any sense, I've had a few drinks and thinking deeply. Anyway. AIBU to want my kids to live, career, and generally be themselves, before they commit to a life of parenting? I've made it look easy, I admit, but I'm far from who I was and missed so many opportunities. I want them to have what I didn't 😭

I think it's natural for parents to want their kids to be at least one rung further up the ladder than they were in all aspects of life.

Sounds like your kids have a very good base line to work from.

You want them to delay parenting until they’ve been to uni, established careers and lived a little. That’s reasonable.

However, you also say that you want them to make their own choices, so you will have to accept that they may not choose what you want for them.

I think people do generally tend to have children later now, so I wouldn’t worry too much.

You have made a great start. You made your own luck. The Americans say, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' and you have totally done this by always looking to convert your circumstances into tangibles like a house and credits and certificates and degrees.
Your example, your tenacity and your knack for combining real life with qualifications is all they need.
My parents didn't actually finish university but I didn't realise this for years, only just twigging frankly .
They spent all their time telling me what it would be like when I was at university, building that expectation and that urge for me. They NEVER mentioned that neither of them finished an undergrad ... They just kept talking about how amazing university was. It was always, 'when you're at university'
And I went. I finished my degree course. I worked for a bit and did teacher training whilst teaching. Whilst I was still in school, my mother finished her undergrad and put herself through law school and I still didn't twig ...
So keep leading from the front!