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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pick a name that I know my child will have to spell out?

61 replies

LilyXy · 19/08/2023 22:09

My name is a name that gets various spellings and I'll often be asked to clarify which one it is and it's never bothered me really. Is it bad to purposely name our child with one of those names? I don't mean make up a spelling or go for a unique one to stand out, it's a perfectly logical spelling but as the name isn't very known either, would it be unreasonable?

OP posts:
Yoyoban · 20/08/2023 09:15

I have to spell my name - it's a common name (I can think of a list of very famous celebrities with my name) with only one real spelling I'm aware of. But that doesn't mean people know how to spell it... the variety of spellings I've seen is ridiculous - including one particularly crazy spelling when I'd actually spelled it out 🤔

My Mum has a common 3 letter name and people also regularly misspell that, think Sam - she gets Samm, Saam, Zam.

My point being, common or rare, simple or complex, if you want your name spelled correctly you have to spell it out anyway, so you may as well just use the name you like.

cheezncrackers · 20/08/2023 09:37

My Mum has a common 3 letter name and people also regularly misspell that, think Sam - she gets Samm, Saam, Zam.

Well that's the other issue - that a lot of people can't spell! I have a name with only one spelling too and the mangled attempts I've had over the years are actually quite funny.

KajsaKavat · 20/08/2023 09:40

If your child end of being extremely shy this will be horrible for her, just saying.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 20/08/2023 09:48

My name is very much of it's time and there were thousands of us with the same name. I still have get asked which spelling it is, although I've never met anyone with another spelling.

Just give them the name you love.

StoatofDisarray · 20/08/2023 10:22

Hadalifeonce · 19/08/2023 22:24

I used to have a very simple surname, which was not unusual, and still had to spell it out.

People always ask me to spell my very plain name, probably because there are so many "unique" spellings drifting around these days.

Hellocatshome · 20/08/2023 10:32

KajsaKavat · 20/08/2023 09:40

If your child end of being extremely shy this will be horrible for her, just saying.

If they end up that shy spelling their name is going to be the least of their problems.

Sosbanfachtheresatellyinmybath · 20/08/2023 10:52

My ds is Iolo. When he was born his English side of the family wrote cards congratulating us on the birth of baby Lola, Yolo, yoyo, rolo and my favourite Yoda! Never bothered me. Now Iolo Williams is on TV we never have any issues.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 20/08/2023 10:55

I have a common name which doesn’t usually have any variants in terms of spelling and still get asked to spell out my name relatively frequently. My surname is pretty common and spelt phonetically and get asked with that as well. I think it’s fairly standard to be asked to spell out your name if it’s more than one syllable even when it’s a common name with a common spelling so I don’t think it would be a consideration for me when choosing a name.

SarahAndQuack · 20/08/2023 11:18

Agree, it's a non-issue. DD has one of these names and is unfussed. It's the less common spelling in the UK but more common in much of Europe.

Duchessofspace · 20/08/2023 11:22

My daughter has been asked to spell Emma several times - does that help? Jesus literally wept.

Crunchymum · 20/08/2023 11:22

How unusual name are we talking?

Having to say "Sarah with a H" is quite different to having to repeat a name several times, spell it out in full etc.

CwmYoy · 20/08/2023 11:23

I've spent a lifetime spelling out my name. I hate it. Don't inflict it on your child.

daliesque · 20/08/2023 11:27

I have an Irish first name and an Italian surname. No one can either pronounce or spell either 🤣

Adelstrop · 20/08/2023 12:00

My name only has one spelling but no-one under 60 can actually spell it, and sometimes they can’t pronounce it. People even get it wrong when I spell it out. I’ve had some weird things pencilled on coffee cups over the years.

CaffiSaliMali · 20/08/2023 13:09

Sosbanfachtheresatellyinmybath · 20/08/2023 10:52

My ds is Iolo. When he was born his English side of the family wrote cards congratulating us on the birth of baby Lola, Yolo, yoyo, rolo and my favourite Yoda! Never bothered me. Now Iolo Williams is on TV we never have any issues.

Yoda? Blimey. How does anyone get Yoda from Iolo?

I also have a Welsh name I always have to spell out. It's not an issue, it's a short name with no Welsh specific letters like Ll or Ng.

People mispronouncing it is more annoying but I'm very used to that.

Want2beme · 20/08/2023 13:20

My first name has so many versions & drives me crackers. Also, my surname is unusual. This has resulted in me dreading saying my name in new company, etc.

Peony654 · 20/08/2023 13:22

an unusual name - fine. But not an unusual spelling of a common name, just to try and be different, so unfair. I have a common name spelt the common way, and am very grateful for that.

MumofSpud · 20/08/2023 13:24

I thought I had a simple to spell name but as the years go past (I am 51) my name had also become popular spelt x2 other different ways so sometimes it doesn't work out!

MumofSpud · 20/08/2023 13:25

cheezncrackers · 20/08/2023 08:59

Surely most people have to spell out their names?

Tom/Thom
Sarah/Sara
Jane/Jayne
Emily/Emilie
Robin/Robyn
Catherine/Katherine/Kathryn

Exactly and I will add:
Emily / Emilie and.... Emma- Leigh(!!)

Herecomesthemoon · 20/08/2023 13:27

My name is unusual and I always have to spell it. Lots of people cannot pronounce it either so I have a whole range of different names I have been called. The pronunciaton is more annoying than the spelling but always wish I had a simple name. My children have simple names for this reason.

EhrlicheFrau · 20/08/2023 13:32

My married name is a normal name which can be spelled more than one way, but ours is spelled the most common way so it's fine. My maiden name was a much less common name, spelled very similarly to another much more common name, and at least 75% of the time people spelled it the wrong way - that was quite annoying, and as it was a second name it's not like my parents chose to spell it that way. If you have your heart set on a name and you are not just altering the spelling to 'be different' then it's not an issue really though imho.

EhrlicheFrau · 20/08/2023 13:35

MumofSpud · 20/08/2023 13:25

Exactly and I will add:
Emily / Emilie and.... Emma- Leigh(!!)

Show quote history

I would pronounce those three differently, and see them as three different names:
Emilih - more emphasis on the Emi than the lih
Emilee - more emphasis on the lee than the Emi
Emma-Lee - equal emphasis on the Em and ma, short pause, equal emphasis on the lee
Maybe that's just me though.

Magneta · 20/08/2023 13:59

Half the time people want you to spell it anyway, just to make sure they have caught it right. There are few names that will never need clarification.

The number of girls with similar names like Lila, Lyra, Lily, Lilia, or Orla, Laura, Lola etc means unless it's very mainstream, and very easy to spell AND very different phonetically to all other names, it will need clarifying regularly. I wouldn't worry about it.

Magneta · 20/08/2023 14:14

Even if you pronounce those slightly differently personally, would you be confident enough of elucidating the spelling from the exact pronunciation of a stranger, without even checking with them?

What about in a crowded classroom, or over the phone? I wouldn't. I'd either assume Emily if no spelling were offered, or - preferably - ask them.

Magneta · 20/08/2023 14:14

sorry meant to quote you @EhrlicheFrau