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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No acknowledgment

35 replies

Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 18:42

So myself and my partner have a baby.
my partner is VERY popular….think a famous artist’s musician…so we get stopped EVERYWHERE! (Exhausting) before baby I’d just walk off and leave him to catch me up. Obviously now if were out with the baby people will “ahhhh is this the baby” totally ignore me and dive into my pushchair! Im standing there like a muppet! Whilst he does the “proud dad” no introduction like oh this is my partner xyz.
Today took this biscuit we were out (won’t say where as then you’d know who im talking about 😂) a lady comes up, my partner has our baby in his arms and she’s streching out like she wants a hold of the baby. My face must of said it all, as partners sister stepped in and say “ohhh this is xyz, pqr’s partner”
what would you all do in my situation.
am i overreacting??

OP posts:
AndTheSurveySays · 19/08/2023 18:44

Are you asking if you over reacted by pulling a face?

panko · 19/08/2023 18:45

I would be saying EXCUSE ME! get off my baby

Original poster
Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 18:47

AndTheSurveySays · 19/08/2023 18:44

Are you asking if you over reacted by pulling a face?

Sorry i wasnt clear.
am I being unreasonable to think he ought to introduce me and that folk should acknowledge that im the babies mom?? Not one of the fans hanging round

OP posts:
tjugofem · 19/08/2023 18:51

I don't think you're overreacting. I think when it comes to famous people, even ones of minor fame, many people tend to see them as characters and not actual people. I do think the onus lies on your partner to introduce you and set up boundaries for how people act around your baby. Not saying that you shouldn't say anything — you can and you should if it gets to that stage — but his fans are, for the most part, his responsibility.

WhateverMate · 19/08/2023 18:53

Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 18:47

Sorry i wasnt clear.
am I being unreasonable to think he ought to introduce me and that folk should acknowledge that im the babies mom?? Not one of the fans hanging round

Show quote history

Is this a serious question?

Of course he should and his job btw has nothing to do with that.

It's just rude not to introduce your partner when someone strikes up a conversation in the street.

qabest · 19/08/2023 18:54

Weird

Original poster
Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 18:54

WhateverMate · 19/08/2023 18:53

Is this a serious question?

Of course he should and his job btw has nothing to do with that.

It's just rude not to introduce your partner when someone strikes up a conversation in the street.

Show quote history

Legit! This is a true story / real post.

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 19/08/2023 18:56

Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 18:54

Legit! This is a true story / real post.

Show quote history

So are you asking if it's rude not to introduce your partner when someone you've never met, strikes up a conversation with them?

If so, yes, obviously.

Have you spoken to him about it?

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/08/2023 19:02

OK so I think you are overreacting to some of it. I used to spend a lot of time with famous people. People were always coming over to ask for a photo or to say hi and 99 times out of 100 I wasn't introduced. Typically they want it over with as soon as possible and introducing someone else makes that more painful. Plus, they don't give a shit about who you are. So it's weird and awkward.

No one, not anyone, is getting their face near my child though. That bit is weird. Hard no, and he needs to enforce that as well.

GoodChat · 19/08/2023 19:04

Are these people approaching random strangers?

TheAOEAztec · 19/08/2023 19:16

It's not meeting mates. I would assume there are no introductions to randoms so they don't latch onto you

indyocean · 19/08/2023 19:28

So to clarify, the people who stop him are randoms/fans. He doesn't actually know them?

Just to be really blunt, you are not a person if interest

I think you need to accept that and live with it

Hillrunning · 19/08/2023 19:59

If just fans, then no he doesn't need to introduce you. They do t give a fuck about you, why would they need to be introduced?

If friends/colleagues then sure, he should introduce you.

BarbaraV · 19/08/2023 21:41

Nice

BarbaraV · 19/08/2023 21:42

Anyway. You've nc'd. Who is he? Grin

babbscrabbs · 19/08/2023 21:44

He's an artist's musician? Trying to work out which artists have musicians (or am I missing the point)

Original poster
Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 22:17

Yep….any show or tour tv appearances etc he’s his musician …..neither will i say the instrument 😂😂
They’ve just finished up something hence us being away and in public with the baby.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 22:18

Lol. How do you know about the name change??

OP posts:
Original poster
Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 22:22

Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 18:42

So myself and my partner have a baby.
my partner is VERY popular….think a famous artist’s musician…so we get stopped EVERYWHERE! (Exhausting) before baby I’d just walk off and leave him to catch me up. Obviously now if were out with the baby people will “ahhhh is this the baby” totally ignore me and dive into my pushchair! Im standing there like a muppet! Whilst he does the “proud dad” no introduction like oh this is my partner xyz.
Today took this biscuit we were out (won’t say where as then you’d know who im talking about 😂) a lady comes up, my partner has our baby in his arms and she’s streching out like she wants a hold of the baby. My face must of said it all, as partners sister stepped in and say “ohhh this is xyz, pqr’s partner”
what would you all do in my situation.
am i overreacting??

To clarify….its not fans or random strangers. (Well they are to me because I don’t work in the industry) but it’s like people he works with their spouses etc.
put it this way i was sent a lovely gift from another artist who he’s played for. Met said artist she cooo’d over the baby and didn’t acknowledge me. Upon leaving i said oh thanks for (name of gift) we really love it.she looked at me dumbfounded.

OP posts:
ChocolateCakeOverspill · 19/08/2023 22:23

babbscrabbs · 19/08/2023 21:44

He's an artist's musician? Trying to work out which artists have musicians (or am I missing the point)

I presume not artist as in a painter but artist as in a singer with a band who play with them?

Although I was thinking of Bob Ross, Tony Hart etc to start with.

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 19/08/2023 22:25

Fancyabikky · 19/08/2023 22:22

To clarify….its not fans or random strangers. (Well they are to me because I don’t work in the industry) but it’s like people he works with their spouses etc.
put it this way i was sent a lovely gift from another artist who he’s played for. Met said artist she cooo’d over the baby and didn’t acknowledge me. Upon leaving i said oh thanks for (name of gift) we really love it.she looked at me dumbfounded.

Show quote history

So essentially like bumping into work friends?

Cinnamope · 19/08/2023 22:28

On first reading I thought you meant random fans, in which case, YABU as why would you want them to know your name etc

However if it’s people he knows, essentially work mates, then YANBU as that’s just rude not to include you.

Sometimes famous people are quite selfish in general though, They spend so long wrapped up in their little bubble that they forget other people exist.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/08/2023 23:39

People he knows you aren't unreasonable to want to be introduced.

I will say having been married to a muso, some of them are basic narcissists and only care about their own industry and meeting the right people. I met a lot of coked up wankers. Looking over shoulders to see if someone more important was there.

There were some notable exceptions though. I made a couple of good famous friends. Few and far between and they aren't the schmoozers or liggers.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 20/08/2023 08:44

Cinnamope · 19/08/2023 22:28

On first reading I thought you meant random fans, in which case, YABU as why would you want them to know your name etc

However if it’s people he knows, essentially work mates, then YANBU as that’s just rude not to include you.

Sometimes famous people are quite selfish in general though, They spend so long wrapped up in their little bubble that they forget other people exist.

I think Ben random fans though he should say 'this is my gf/wife, Sarah' not ignore her prescience

Original poster
Fancyabikky · 20/08/2023 09:10

I have made a genuine friend via him i guess. But yes totally get what you mean with the looking over the shoulder to grasp the most influential person present. I don’t tend to go to shows etc, because of this & i feel like I don’t fit in as its really not my industry and i hear about the horrible stuff that goes on behind the scenes, but this show I actually really looked forward to. I like the artist he plays for and he’s lovely always warm towards me and the children.

OP posts: