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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parking on neighbours' empty drive

135 replies

Vinntet · 19/08/2023 18:39

I hope not a TAAT, but DP's car is currently parked on our next door neighbours' driveway without their permission and I'm worried this might have us known as as being CFers!

We share almost an access drive which goes across the front of both our actual drives and we've had a skip delivered to ours this morning. I stupidly told them to put it on the side for easiest access to the backgarden, which is also where DP's electric car needs to be parked to be reach the charger which is on that side of the house!

It just won't reach from 'my' side of the drive, but will from the empty spot on NDN's drive, who we think have gone on holiday (not been around since Weds). We'd move onto the road when it's fully charged, or ask nicely if they come home, and DP sees no issue.

Is this fine or CF territory?

OP posts:
Hayliebells · 19/08/2023 20:02

Relationship, not religion!

PathOfLeastResitance · 19/08/2023 20:03

Cyclistmumgrandma · 19/08/2023 19:49

No, not to charge an electric car from a charge point!!!

Show quote history

Yes you can. I’ve googled it. Google = oracle.

Original poster
Vinntet · 19/08/2023 20:03

Have popped a note on and am basically watching out the window in case I see them pull up! Don't think it will take much longer and will move it before going to bed anyway.

Will definitely tell/thank/apologise to them when they're back and hope they don't mind too much.

Good thinking too to make sure they know they'd be welcome to do the same when we're away, and we won't be making a habit of doing so without asking in future!

OP posts:
londonrach · 19/08/2023 20:06

Cf and you could ruin your neighbour relationship...you no idea who looking after the house to report back to them. I'd move your car

Hayliebells · 19/08/2023 20:07

And you should get their contact details, so you can help each other out in the future should the need arise.

BrawnWild · 19/08/2023 20:11

Just be sensible, knock to check, pop a note through, make sure you do not do it when they return and offer a gesture of goodwill - ask them over for a coffee or something.

But absolutely do not do it when they are back, even if that means paying to get the skip moved or inconveniencing your husband.

Personally if I a yur neighbour I wouldnt mind as it makes the house look occupied.

Seaswimmingforthesoul · 19/08/2023 20:16

Vinntet · 19/08/2023 19:25

Actually, they wouldn't have to find anywhere to park if they arrived home, because the shared part of the drive is off the road. They'd just stop or pull up to the end. They have visitors park there all the time, even though it's for turning.

And everything's already been removed from the garden and the skip is full, so no, we're not being generally disruptive to the neighbours. It's been done while they have been away.

Why did you ask the question if you're just going to argue with every point?
Its very clear from the answers on this thread that you're being unreasonable and you shouldn't be doing what you're doing. Accept that and move on.
Seriously, you don't know these people. They could have had a family emergency, they could be at a funeral or be dealing with a bereavement for all you know. The last thing they need is to come home and have the worry and inconvenience of you parking on their drive so as to not cost your husbands work a few extra pence.

UsingChangeofName · 19/08/2023 20:16

Good grief. I can't believe how many are saying it is CF.
Do none of you have reasonable relationships with neighbours ?
The neighbours aren't there.
The OP is in, and ready to move it straight away if they return.
Why would this possibly be an issue for anyone ? Confused

Fingeronthebutton · 19/08/2023 20:17

Some people think they’re just so bloody entitled.

Insommmmnia · 19/08/2023 20:18

UsingChangeofName · 19/08/2023 20:16

Good grief. I can't believe how many are saying it is CF.
Do none of you have reasonable relationships with neighbours ?
The neighbours aren't there.
The OP is in, and ready to move it straight away if they return.
Why would this possibly be an issue for anyone ? Confused

Many of us do have reasonable relationships with our neighbours

The thing that's clear here though is that the OP doesnt really have any relationship with the neighbours. Which isn't a bad thing but it does up the cheekiness factor of using their property.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 19/08/2023 20:20

LooselyBasedOnAMadeUpStory · 19/08/2023 19:44

Would you use their garden if they weren't in? Sunbath on their loungers? Use their BBQ? Use their bath?

Don’t be ridiculous. Parking on their drive for a couple of hours hardly means OP is likely to start helping herself to everything they own. Op has already said they feel bad enough for parking there.

There are some very unneighbourly people on this thread.

How is using the drive way for a few hours different to using the garden or anything else the neighbours happen to own?.

happinessischocolate · 19/08/2023 20:22

UsingChangeofName · 19/08/2023 20:16

Good grief. I can't believe how many are saying it is CF.
Do none of you have reasonable relationships with neighbours ?
The neighbours aren't there.
The OP is in, and ready to move it straight away if they return.
Why would this possibly be an issue for anyone ? Confused

Same

I really wouldn't care, why are people so precious about a bloody driveway.

Clymene · 19/08/2023 20:23

I really wouldn't stress. If he moves it tomorrow as soon as it's charged, it hasn't inconvenienced them in any way.

I'd take them a packet of biscuits and explain when they get back.

I wouldn't care if it didn't inconvenience me at all. I often tell my neighbours when I'm away so they can use my drive.

FunnysInLaJardin · 19/08/2023 20:24

what is it with people and their drives. Suspect it is due to the lack of space in modern developments tbh

We live out in the sticks and very happily for us our local farmer doesn't mind at all if we park for short periods in his yard.

@Vinntet if your neighbours are away then its fine IMO

Newnamecauseitstooclosetohomehaha · 19/08/2023 20:24

CF. At least your not using their electricity 🙄

Curseofthenation · 19/08/2023 20:25

I wouldn't care if I was the neighbour and away on holiday. I would knock on the door to double check that they are away though. It's only for a short while if it's just while the car is charging.

Original poster
Vinntet · 19/08/2023 20:27

Seaswimmingforthesoul · 19/08/2023 20:16

Why did you ask the question if you're just going to argue with every point?
Its very clear from the answers on this thread that you're being unreasonable and you shouldn't be doing what you're doing. Accept that and move on.
Seriously, you don't know these people. They could have had a family emergency, they could be at a funeral or be dealing with a bereavement for all you know. The last thing they need is to come home and have the worry and inconvenience of you parking on their drive so as to not cost your husbands work a few extra pence.

Show quote history

This isn't arguing with every point, just explaining that the set up isn't as others imagined. It's describing the scenario accurately (those asserting that it's wrong for assumed consequences are doing just that) which is that they would have somewhere to park, right outside both the our and their houses and it wouldn't be like they were stuck on the road miles from their front door because of us. It would be a lot like when I get home and have to wait for their supermarket delivery driver to budge up so that only their house is blocked and not mine.

I asked the question as I know people can see these things differently, and because I was already reluctant to do so without asking, but DP was adamant that I was overthinking it and they'd not care either way.

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 19/08/2023 20:29

I really wouldn’t care if anyone used our drive if we weren’t there because - we wouldn’t be there! Our neighbours sometimes ask us when we’re going away if it’s okay if x parks in our drive for a day as they have friends coming round for lunch - of course they can! No problem at all. if anything it’s better as it makes our house look less appealing to burglars (not that it’s something I ever worry about!).

agent765 · 19/08/2023 20:31

My friend's neighbour did this while the other side was away.

They'd posted a note through the letterbox saying they did it so it would look as if someone was at home making it more secure.

We had a storm a few days later and the neighbour with the empty driveway lost some branches from a large tree. One damaged the paintwork on the CF parked car so they claimed on the away neighbour's home insurance!

Had the CF not posted their note they'd have got away with it but it was deemed they'd parked at their own risk as it was without permission.

Karma, I'd say.

PuzzledObserver · 19/08/2023 20:33

I wouldn't want someone else's unsupervised electric car sitting on my property whilst charging ... too many fires.

How many fires, exactly?

I don’t know the answer myself, so I’m off to Google it. But I can already tell you that the number of EV’s which catch fire when charging is vanishingly small. I’ll also have to check how many BEV’s are on the road now, but pretty sure it’s over half a million - all charging regularly without bursting into flame.

RosesAndHellebores · 19/08/2023 20:34

It depends on your relationship with your neighbours. Ours is a tiny road and when either side are on holiday, we park a car on their drive, and vice versa. Don't you have your neighbours' mobile numbers? We would just give ours a ring and let them know/ask.

It's CFery but oth I think a note on the windscreen, nice card saying thank you and sorry explaining and a bottle of wine takes the county out of it.

Sparrowandball · 19/08/2023 20:37

I wouldn't mind personally if a neighbour parked on our drive for a bit whilst we were away, even if we came back and they were there I'd just ask them to move, no big deal. We'd say before we went though as we get on well with the neighbours that they're free to park on it even though they have their own drives. I don't know anyone in real life who would get worked up about this.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 19/08/2023 20:37

happinessischocolate · 19/08/2023 20:22

Same

I really wouldn't care, why are people so precious about a bloody driveway.

Show quote history

It's more the entitlement people can't stand

GameOverBoys · 19/08/2023 20:38

There is a world of difference between this a being a CF. If my neighbours left a note and moved it as soon as I asked do wouldn’t care at all.

MrsClatterbuck · 19/08/2023 20:38

Tbh op if I was your neighbour I truly wouldn't mind if we were away. It's obviously a one off and as long as you leave a note explaining. It's nothing like the cfs you see on here who park on their neighbours drive continually and think they are entitled to do so and give the owners grief for bringing it up. You certainly don't appear to be that type. Only thing which could backfire is if they arrive back in the early hours if they have been called away due to maybe a family emergency. I would put your number on the note and stress that they can call you anytime though I imagine the car will be charged before bedtime.
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