To think my high sex drive on holiday is telling me something?

[highsexdriveonhol]

NC for this post.

Back story...usually I normal life my sex drive is fairly low - I can take it or leave it once a week max whereas DH wants it 2-3 times a week.

I'm usually stressed and not overly happy in my daily life.

I've come away for a short break and have been so happy - no stress and feel on cloud nine all day and night. I've never felt this happy.

So much so we are having sex every day.

Is this normal - as in is it unrealistic to feel this much disparity in your happiness when on holiday?

I know it isn't normal to feel like you're on holiday all year round but this difference is staggering and it's making me think maybe I need to change something when I'm home - but I don't know what.

I have no kids, very stressful job but not one I can or want to walk away from. But being miserable is rubbish! Help?

I don't think "maybe" you need to change something when you're home, you definitely should!!

And working days off is just stupid.

Everyone I know who works like this has this belief they’re indispensable and vital to the business.

It’s actually a sign of poor delegation skills and poor time management.

Im not going to pretend I have a high powered job but I have responsibilities and people rely on me and I could take a week’s leave with pretty much zero notice because I’m organised and communicate with colleagues.

It genuinely sounds like you are in the wrong job but you just can't see it. Mine is stressful and busy but 75% of the time I'm buzzing from it. It gives me actual enjoyment to go to work.

Well you don’t want to leave your job so how do you think things should change ?

If I had no DC and a stressful job I would definitely resign and change my outgoings etc

Is it a public sector type job where there's no real alternative? Or are you in the private sector?

If you're in the private sector, I do think you should look around. It could be that the type of job itself is right for you, but the employer is all wrong.

I know what it's like to be miserable at work. Coping strategies (like attending therapy) only put off the inevitable.

I have a stressful job and on the advice of my sister in law joined our local gym for the classes pool and amazing hot tub. It has really helped to rebalance me. Are there perhaps elements of the holiday feel you can bring into your life like this. It can help with the daily grind.

Yes, you're not happy and relaxed IRL. Obvs nobody can be as chill as they are on holiday all the time but it does sound like you do have quite an issue

If you're so tired from work that you have to schedule sex but you have no desire to change jobs then maybe there's a medical issue?

Think it's very common to find sex more exciting on holidays: sunshine so your body feels good: some exercise so feel refrshed: new bed: no housework or messy room to act as a turn off: more time with dp so feel closer: wine!!
So all blame can't go on stressful work. A change of environment makes a huge difference. Even one night in a hotel was great l found.

Perhaps you need to work out whether its the stress or boredom that's causing you to be miserable. If its the job stress then could you look at exactly what it is. If its your managers putting too much pressure on you for example then could you work in the same job elsewhere. Or are you making yourself indispensable (no one is) by not delegating in your absence. If its boredom then maybe you need to make time to address that by taking up some new interests or looking at your relationship to spice it up/do more interests together? But then again, if you're stressed, maybe you're too tired to do that?
I'm making it sound simple and it never usually is but you need to have a serious think about your work life balance and ask yourself whats more important.

I hope that's helpful and not patronising. Sometimes it takes someone not in the situation to point out the obvious. Sometimes its only someone who has been in the same situation and turned it around to understand.

I agree it's totally common and normal to be more interested in sex on holiday. Part of it is the novelty of a new environment, etc etc. You might be in the wrong job, but I'd be very cautious if you think that switching jobs is suddenly going to mean you want much more frequent sex at home. It very likely won't.

Who does the general grind of domestic stuff - cleaning, laundry, maintenance, scheduling? How much of that could you outsource?

Is there a 'happy place' in your daily life - could be a spa, bar, garden, museum, whatever suits you? Or if you could create one, what would it be? Spend time doing 'happy things' in it with DH.

Do you spend enough time outdoors? This is often a big factor in holiday wellbeing.

Finally - and I'm reluctant to say it, but I used to have regular sunbeds because they make a staggering difference to the way I feel.

@GarlicGrace we actually do our own laundry and have a cleaner and then what's left DH is good at and probably does more than me so there isn't much in that way. We do a lot of cooking which takes up a lot of time after work but I can't exactly get a chef so it is what it is.