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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH is cross because I swore in front of his mum

26 replies

AtticusMcPlatypus · 19/08/2023 16:43

Name changed for this.

We were at the ILs the other evening; me DH and adult DD. My DB called me while we were there and told me he'd forgotten our DM's birthday the next day.

According to DH, I called DB a 'fucking idiot' on the phone. DB has form for this and I often have to get flowers etc on his behalf as he lives 200 miles away. I do not recall saying this. I'm mindful not to swear in inappropriate settings but it may have slipped out. My ILs are very strait laced and bad language is a definite no. DH is now cross with me. MIL didn't say anything but according to DH, she is offended.

AIBU that DH is being cross for no reason? MIL didn't mention it. I don't recall saying it and anyway, DB is a fucking idiot for forgetting and leaving me to sort it out again!

OP posts:
SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 19/08/2023 16:45

Meh!

That's your only response.

Meh!

KarmaStar · 19/08/2023 16:45

I would ring and apologise.
You can't blame your dh,mil and th for everything!😃

Runnerinthenight · 19/08/2023 16:46

What age is she?!

Tell your DH to catch himself on. Let her be offended. People swear. She needs to get over herself. The only person's swearing she can control is her own.

Mummy08m · 19/08/2023 16:46

Wow your titled implied you swore at MIL...! Yanbu and your dh is treating you like a child

Dotcheck · 19/08/2023 16:47

You’re an adult, you’re allowed to swear.
Also, your mother in law has no right to be offended over language you used in a private conversation with your brother.

AngelAurora · 19/08/2023 16:47

Tell your husband to get a life ffs

HeadacheEarthquake · 19/08/2023 16:48

She needs to get a fucking grip!

Marwoodsbigbreak · 19/08/2023 16:48

Tell DH to fuck off

TomatoSandwiches · 19/08/2023 16:49

I wouldn't be apologising to a grown adult for swearing infront of them, not my problem really, that's what I'd tell my DH.

GabriellaMontez · 19/08/2023 16:51

All I can think, is I hope your MIL never needs to use public transport.

Meanwhile, she's welcome to remain offended for as long as she pleases.

Notamum12345577 · 19/08/2023 16:53

I would say to your MIL ‘I’m sorry if I swore when we were round the other day’, and then leave it at that. I’m only saying that because you were at her house, her house her rules 😁. But I wouldn’t do anything like keep on apologising etc

MrsSquirrel · 19/08/2023 16:53

YANBU your DH is making a mountain out of a molehill. You were speaking to your brother, nothing to do with DH or MIL.

Original poster
AtticusMcPlatypus · 19/08/2023 16:59

HeadacheEarthquake · 19/08/2023 16:48

She needs to get a fucking grip!

😂 so does DH I think!

OP posts:
Milkand2sugarsplease · 19/08/2023 16:59

DH needs to grow up.

Mil needs to accept that other people have different opinions and hers isn't the be all and end all.

pointythings · 19/08/2023 17:00

You're allowed to swear. Your MIL and DH need to let go of their pearls. I have no tolerance for prissy people who can't handle a bit of salty language.

GaspingGekko · 19/08/2023 17:01

YANBU if you'd said it at her she'd have a right to be offended, but she was listening to a private conversation.

And please don't sort your DB out with a birthday gift. I live '000s of kms from my DM but manage to send her flowers, or whatever, all by myself.

donkra · 19/08/2023 17:02

YABU for bailing out your brother. If anyone has to organise last minute flowers, it's him. Stop covering for him.

Ignore your MIL and DH. They'll get over it.

MisschiefMaker · 19/08/2023 17:04

Can he not find a next day florist? Or just have something delivered on Monday? Why is this on you?

Anyway YANBU, MIL isn't a child she should be able to handle a swear word.

NeedTheSeaside · 19/08/2023 17:05

Mummy08m · 19/08/2023 16:46

Wow your titled implied you swore at MIL...! Yanbu and your dh is treating you like a child

@Mummy08m no it doesn't, she said very clearly 'in front of' not 'at'

@AtticusMcPlatypus tell DH to sort himself out, that you're an adult & he is not in charge of you.

VeridicalVagabond · 19/08/2023 17:07

Tell both of them to stop listening in to your phone conversations then!

Pair of them need to get a fucking grip.

Elsiebear90 · 19/08/2023 17:08

My BIL can be like this, tells his gf off for saying “shit” in front of his mum like she’s a child “erm language please!”, thankfully my wife doesn’t dare do it to me because she knows I would rip her head off! It’s beyond patronising.

coconutpie · 19/08/2023 17:11
  1. You did not swear at MIL, you were swearing at your brother. You have nothing to apologise for.
  1. Stop bailing your brother out - he could live on the other side of the world and would still be able to organise flowers to be sent to his mother for her birthday either by phone or online. YABU for enabling his crap.
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 19/08/2023 17:14

Dotcheck · 19/08/2023 16:47

You’re an adult, you’re allowed to swear.
Also, your mother in law has no right to be offended over language you used in a private conversation with your brother.

This and why were they listening in?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 19/08/2023 17:16

Ps. Why are you doing wife work for your DB?
He has a phone an can set up an annual reminder.
The more you do this, the more he will expect you to do. (esp when your parents are older)
You've done him this favour for several years and now he has to grow up
Let him send it late and have to apologise to your DM.

TropicalTrama · 19/08/2023 17:24

MIL needs to stop earwigging on other people’s phone calls. I’d double down and say I’m offended at HER rudeness.

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