17 yo dating 21 yo?

[Saolas]

Couple of things I wanted to ask about because maybe I'm bu.

DS is 17, will be 18 by the end of the month and has recently got into a relationship with a 21 yo who is at the uni he is going to. It's not local but she is from the same town as us and went to one of the other secondary schools so he has been spending a lot of time with her over the summer holidays (multiple times a week). I personally think the age gap is too much at their ages DH acting very unbothered by it but admits if it was our daughter he wouldn't be pleased which winds me up.

She's a bit ott I think, bought him shit loads and planned a lot for his birthday already.

AIBU to think this is inappropriate? I'm aware there's nothing I can do but I did hope it was going to be something very casual and never actually develop into something.

I don't see the problem he's a week off being a legal adult!

I would feel the same way

I don't see the huge deal tbh

I was 18 and my now husband 24 when we started going out. We've been married 17 years. Not entirely sure what your issue is and I mean that genuinely.

They're both over the age of consent, it's not a massive gap. If she's a student as well, there's not likely to be a power imbalance. I wouldn't worry about the age gap. So long as your ds is armed with knowledge of safe sex, healthy relationships and contraception, I think it's not going to be any of your business.

Fits the issue? 🤷🏻‍♀️

When I was 17 I was seeing someone who was 21. He treated me much nicer than boys around my age . We're still friends now 17 years later . They're over the age of consent and nearly 18 so I couldn't be too bothered by it .

I don't think it's inappropriate at all. I was 17 when I met my husband, who was 21, and had been in several relationships before then with men in their 20s. I was living with my husband soon after I turned 18, and we'd bought our first flat a couple of years later. It's not a big age gap.

No problem here at all. Sorry OP.

If she's still at uni, its not like she's got a wealth of life experience and therefore some kind of authority over him, which is the usual issue with age gap relationships (although a few years is nothing anyway)

its fine. I was 17 when I met DH who was 21. We have been together for 35 years

Yabu. I can’t see a problem here.

It's fine. Bit more unusual as she's older than him usually is the other way around but I can't see a problem with it. I was 16 when I met my first bf who was 20. We lasted 5 years and had fun. Very common for 14, 15, 16 year old to date 20+ yo's in my parents home country Italy, no one blinks an eye.

Age of consent is 14 in Italy, 13 if age difference is less than 3 years. I noticed quite a few young men on mopeds with teen girls when we vacationed there.

Sounds OK to me OP. I think you're just looking out for your son and it's normal to worry but I wouldn't lose sleep over this.

Same ages as me and my husband when we met. 22 years ago, still going strong. What’s the problem

No issue with the age gap at all, if being a bit OTT and perhaps what is sometimes called love bombing, that is a valid concern.

I met my husband when he was 17 and I was 21
Thought to myself if it lasts it lasts, what's the harm in giving it a go
The only person who had a problem with it was my mum,
But here we are 13 years later

What's the problem?

I was 17 when I met my 21 year old husband. Actually only 3.5 years difference between us.
Still together nearly 30 years later.

I was nearly 19 when I started dating my just 17 yr old DH. His DM was horrified but was kind enough not to show it when I was around (she told me many years later). When she realised we were together for the journey, she opened her heart completely to me and me to her.

My own DS, at 14 started dating a 17 yr old. My DH was not happy but I knew if we told him we were not happy, he'd dig in. I gave him lifts to wherever they met. It lasted 3/4 months.

So how old has he told her he is 😆

Considering he's 18 in a couple of weeks, I don't think there's anything wrong with it at all.