Aquaintance posts anon asking for help when maybe she could afford it herself

[LesserSpottedLoungeLizard]

So I helped once buying a food shop for her family. I'm not rich but I'm not on benefits, tbh I was in my agreed overdraft at the time but I couldn't live with the thought of hunger in the household.
Turned out she spends £30/wk on ciggs/vapes and electric on things like xbox, assume may have a paid subscription so technically can afford food, but I know ciggs are an addiction so I just helped that 1 time.
Since, acquaintance posted anon on another community fb group as her main kitchen appliance used to cook has broken... people have been very generous and offered her one for free or even £50 towards one...thing is if she cut out the ciggs she could save like everyone else for one, rather than getting freebies/handouts? Or am I bring harsh?

Tbf whilst I wouldn't be giving her money, people post on community groups all the time asking for free/recycled stuff.

It's not easy to just quit smoking however I have a really cheeky friend who does this she has taken money off me at the beginning of the holidays too and not bothered to pay me back her partner drinks like a fish and smokes weed so the kids go without

People ask for all sorts of community pages. Most are probably genuine and some will probably be looking for a free ride.

My local ones people pass on lots for free and it isn't just for people who are short of cash. Most don't allow sob story style posts though and only allow anonymous posts if approved by admin.

In your shoes I'd stop offering handouts though.

It's going to take a while to save up for an oven if you're expecting her to cut out £30 a week, to be fair.

There's no issue asking if someone's got one going cheap or free, but she's a CFer if she accepts the money from a stranger.

As you acknowledge, cigarettes are not exactly easy to give up and the habit presumably started when she could afford it. The same with the Xbox - I assume that was bought when they could afford it. It also seems odd to begrudge the cost of the 'electric' to run an Xbox. How do you even know how much it uses?!

So personally, I wouldn't think that those 2 things make her some kind of wasteful grifter who could easily afford food but would rather rip off the unsuspecting public.

You absolutely should not be getting yourself into debt helping her out though - that shows pretty crap financial management by you, ironically.

I think either help and don't judge or don't help and don't think about it. People do all sorts of things that don't make sense, but life is complicated and the chance of you getting her to stop smoking/ using X-box is nil. So I would focus on what the relationship with her gives you and don't involve yourself.

You, and others, have enabled her lifestyle due to bailing her out. If she didn’t have people enabling her, she would work out for herself that she would need to cut down on the smoking. People have to take responsibility for balancing their own finances, and not making it other peoples’ problem. People aren’t helping by giving her money for stuff.