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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to start potty training 2 weeks before holiday

32 replies

Taybz · 18/08/2023 21:55

Our toddler is almost 23 months and he has shown signs of being ready for potty training. He's previously told us when he's doing a poo usually before he does but always refused to sit on the potty. He puts his teddy on the potty instead. However, he has the speech to express himself and can clearly feel the sensation so we want to start potty training before he hits his 2nd birthday.

The problem is we're about to go on holiday in 2 weeks so just wondering if it's pointless to start now. He's our 1st and I'm currently 7 months pregnant with our 2nd. Are we just asking for trouble by starting now? How long did potty training take for you? Any tips and advice?

OP posts:
CarrotSoupwithCheese · 18/08/2023 21:56

YABU.

we did this and I really regretted it. It was so stressful on holiday, ended up resorting to nappies just for the holiday and then it took almost a year before he would try pants again.

MexicanDrinkingWorm · 18/08/2023 22:00

id wait until your back! And potentially after baby is here when everything’s settled a bit, potty training was way more of a slog than I thought.
our boy was quite young ( 2y3 months), he got the jist of parts of it after a couple of weeks but was still not completely confident and accident free out and about for probably a month, then we had poo refusal out of nowhere.
plus, being outside home threw him off more.

FloweryName · 18/08/2023 22:00

Considering you’re pregnant and it sounds like he’s ready, it’s worth trying now. It only took my dc a week of training to be reliable in the day at the same age. We didn’t use a potty though, just made the toilet a nice place to go and made a point of going to the toilet everywhere we went.

fartfacenotfatface · 18/08/2023 22:07

We did it (DS was 24.5 months and had been trained for 2 weeks) and it was fine. It depends on the type of holiday though. A long haul flight? Probably not a good idea. Ours was a 4 hour car journey (broken up with one stop for a wee), a hotel stay and then days out at the zoo etc.
We used pull ups OVER normal underwear (and called them travel pants not letting on that they were absorbent as we didn't want DS to just go in them rather than ask for the loo). There was only one accident when there was a big queue for the loos on a day out but no worse to sort than if we'd been changing nappies.
DS was obviously still in nappies for nights at this point.
We did similar with DD when we went on a cruise 3 weeks after she potty trained. Again, absolutely fine.

Iam4eels · 18/08/2023 22:10

You can always try it and then put him back on nappies if it doesn't work out. He will have some accidents at first but by the end of the first few days/first week he should be reliably getting almost every wee/poo in the potty/toilet. If he isn't then he's not quite ready and I'd put him back on nappies until after the baby arrives.

Potty training is one of those things where the sooner you start, the longer it takes.

Iam4eels · 18/08/2023 22:11

I mean sooner in terms of readiness rather than age. One of my DC was ready at 2, another wasn't ready until almost 4, the other two were ready at 3.

CastleCrasher · 18/08/2023 22:15

Unless your holiday is pretty local, I'd leave it until you come back. Why add the stress to your holiday, plus DC will be out of his routine, out of usual surroundings etc so you'd risk setting him back if he does pick it up well before holiday but stuggles while away.

MingDoo · 18/08/2023 22:18

Tried training our DS at 2.5 as he was showing signs that he was ready. He wasn't. We waited until he turned 3 and then tried again and he took tonight straight away. Moral of the story is, they'll make the transition when they're ready, not before. If you think he is, then give it a go, but don't don't try to force it if you find he isn't.

MingDoo · 18/08/2023 22:19

To it, not 'tonight'

Original poster
Taybz · 18/08/2023 22:20

I may be just being daft now but I thought we could start for the 2 weeks before the holiday and carry on with the nappies during the holidays. I'm guessing this is not how it works? 😅 I'm ftm so this is brand new territory! Our holiday destination is 4 hours away. If we do start, do we take a potty with us on our trip? In an ideal world, we'd like ds to be trained before the baby arrives which is is end of October.

OP posts:
Sugarfree23 · 18/08/2023 22:24

Op given you are 7mths pregnant, I'd go for it and see what happens.

Because really if you don't you could be 3-4 months before you are ready to try. Holiday, the baby and time to settle you feeling ready to try.

And by then you could have lost the momentum

MingDoo · 18/08/2023 22:25

No, you can't go back and forth between pants and nappies. Once you make the transition and they're taking to it, you have to commit and stick with it otherwise it's pointless. Maybe best to wait until after your holiday x

Sugarfree23 · 18/08/2023 22:27

Once you make the commitment to do it you can't go back to daytime nappies not even for the journey.

What I'd do is buy a pack of disposable change mats or puppy pads and line the car seat.
And take a travel potty.

Sometimeswinning · 18/08/2023 22:30

You can go back and forth. It's a far better approach which I took with my 3rd. It took 3 days. It was a case of a half hour at different points of the day whenever was convenient, always after a drink.

Also went straight out with my first at 21 months. it didn't work so we went back to nappies. Tried again at 2 years and it was the right time.

Peachespeachesohpeaches · 18/08/2023 22:38

I'd wait unless you fancy spending your entire holiday having to rush to toilets or, my personal favourite, whipping a potty out in the street so your DC can do a poo outside a pub down a grotty side street. 😷

fartfacenotfatface · 18/08/2023 22:43

Taybz · 18/08/2023 22:20

I may be just being daft now but I thought we could start for the 2 weeks before the holiday and carry on with the nappies during the holidays. I'm guessing this is not how it works? 😅 I'm ftm so this is brand new territory! Our holiday destination is 4 hours away. If we do start, do we take a potty with us on our trip? In an ideal world, we'd like ds to be trained before the baby arrives which is is end of October.

You can't go back to nappies for the holidays and then just pick it back up afterwards as that would confuse the hell out of him. In two weeks, he'll have got it if he's ready.
For the car journey, pre plan some stops for a wee (every 60-90 mins is likely) but keep a potty handy in case you have to do an emergency swerve into a lay-by or get stuck in traffic.

Curseofthenation · 18/08/2023 22:48

If you're doing a package deal/resort type holiday then I think it's doable and won't be too stressful. If you're travelling around a lot or sightseeing a lot then I would hold off.

We potty trained our DS at 22 months using the Oh Crap method, where your DC just goes bottomless to start and you hang about waiting for them to pee/poo. There was a very boring weekend of doing this intensely but after that he did improve quickly. We still had the odd accident but I didn't feel stressed about it after a week. Every toddler is different of course and that's why I would make the decision based on the type of holiday you have planned.

Sometimeswinning · 18/08/2023 22:55

fartfacenotfatface · 18/08/2023 22:43

You can't go back to nappies for the holidays and then just pick it back up afterwards as that would confuse the hell out of him. In two weeks, he'll have got it if he's ready.
For the car journey, pre plan some stops for a wee (every 60-90 mins is likely) but keep a potty handy in case you have to do an emergency swerve into a lay-by or get stuck in traffic.

Show quote history

It won't confuse him. The dramatics 🙄 He'll probably be done within 2 weeks anyways. But if he's not the op will know whether to just go with nappies for the holidays.

Original poster
Taybz · 18/08/2023 23:05

Is 2 weeks to potty train realistic then? Some mums have told me they've done it in days and others in almost a year! My ds is a quick learner but still stubborn about sitting on the potty. We're staying at a family friendly all inclusive resort so won't be leaving it as it has everything we need for us and our toddler. Would people find it odd if we whip out the portable potty at such resorts?

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 18/08/2023 23:15

Ime lots of children show signs like that a few months before actually being ready and I think his reluctance to sit on the potty probably means he’s not ready. They have to be ready physically and psychologically. I’d leave it until he’s keener to try otherwise how are you going to manage to get him to use the potty? In answer to your question I tried with mine when they had signs but went back to nappies for a bit as they had some accidents. Waited a few months and they were literally dry during the day overnight. If he’s ready you won’t need a portable potty at the resort he’ll be fine getting to the loo or your room in time. The portable potty is useful
when you’re on days out and there’s no toilet for miles or you’re on a long journey

fartfacenotfatface · 18/08/2023 23:29

Taybz · 18/08/2023 23:05

Is 2 weeks to potty train realistic then? Some mums have told me they've done it in days and others in almost a year! My ds is a quick learner but still stubborn about sitting on the potty. We're staying at a family friendly all inclusive resort so won't be leaving it as it has everything we need for us and our toddler. Would people find it odd if we whip out the portable potty at such resorts?

2 weeks is possible if he's ready, yes. If he's truly ready, you won't need to 'whip out a potty' as he'll be able to hold it long enough to whisk him to the loo (which will be close by if you're staying at a resort).
I've never got the whole public potty thing (with the exception of the play park which has no loos). Either the child is ready to go without nappies and can hold a wee or they can't (in which case save the hassle and keep them in nappies until they're ready).

Iam4eels · 18/08/2023 23:52

Taybz · 18/08/2023 23:05

Is 2 weeks to potty train realistic then? Some mums have told me they've done it in days and others in almost a year! My ds is a quick learner but still stubborn about sitting on the potty. We're staying at a family friendly all inclusive resort so won't be leaving it as it has everything we need for us and our toddler. Would people find it odd if we whip out the portable potty at such resorts?

All of mine were reliably dry/clean during the day within a week of starting potty training. You'll know whether he's ready or not based on progression. Basically days 1-2 will see the majority of his toileting done on the floor or in his pants as he gets used to not wearing a nappy but from day 2 onwards you should see a day on day increase in how often he's successfully using the toilet/potty. He won't be perfect but the end of a week but there should definitely be some improvement and he should be reasonably reliable, by "reasonable" I mean successful trips should outnumber the accidents.

It doesn't confuse them to switch back and forth at all, that's a bit of a myth. A pull up for a long journey isn't going to undo his potty training, he will still be wearing a pull up or nappy for bed and it's no different, you can still take him to the toilet while he's wearing it but he's got it on as "insurance" in case he falls asleep or there isn't a toilet available.

If he's not improving by the end of the first week, it's not going to harm him to put him back in a nappy and try again in a few months time. There is no hard and fast deadline of when a child "must" be potty trained by and the vast majority of typically developing children will master it somewhere between the age of 2 and 4, IME most get it by the time they're 3 but you get the occasional outlier.

Sugarfree23 · 19/08/2023 00:09

I think 2 weeks is a fairly reasonable timescale. To get them dry during the day and telling you. Might be a while before they give you more than a few minutes notice though.
If you don't make progress in 3 days give up and wait a few months.

DS 1 was 2&4 mths when trained, DS e was 2 & 9 mths both were out of night nappies within 3 of potty training.

LittleBearPad · 19/08/2023 00:18

I think you’re making your life/holiday unnecessarily hard.

If he’s in a swimming pool he really should wear a swim nappy until he’s definitely not going to do a poo otherwise the pool will need to be closed and cleaned - I’d definitely avoid that stress.

I assume you’ll use nappies overnight but you won’t have easy access to a washing machine for daytime accidents so will need to take extra clothes to compensate.

Why make life harder for yourself - given you’re on holiday and most children aren’t potty trained before 2 either so I’m not sure what the rush is.

Toddler101 · 19/08/2023 00:28

Mine was dry in a few days but was absolutely ready to potty train.

I'd say there would be so many distractions on holiday it will be hard for toddler - learning that they need to stop what they're doing, hold it until they make it to the potty then the actual steps involved with using the potty - it's a lot to remember when there are so many exciting things going on that they'd rather be doing! I'd wait until after your holiday.

I trained my firstborn when I was 7m pregnant and it has been so great to only have one set of nappies to change. Although that said, they did regress when baby was 3m old so do prepare yourself for that!