I have one DD, she is 4 nearly 5, due to start school in a couple of weeks. For various reasons we have opted for an all girls prep, it is more expensive than the other preps in our area by a fair amount but has an outstanding reputation, everyone told me all the mums are really lovely, quality of education is fantastic etc. so I thought it would be worth it.
This is all new to me, I went to a village CofE school in the north, now I live in London and definitely married 'up'.
They had a summer fair at the start of July, incoming parents were invited along, their was a lady taking sign ups for the PTA. I thought I'd give it a go, my mum was always super involved in my schooling and I work part-time.
Well, for Kindergarten (reception basically) their are 4 mums currently, myself and 3 others, I'm early 40s, they are late 20s/early 30s and I feel like I have been transported back to high school.
We were asked to plan a get together for the new reception girls and parents for the week before school starts, let parents get to know each other and the girls too as the school doesn't have a nursery. Every idea I had was ignored, when they planned to meet for coffee, we picked a date, we were all free, then one wasn't so they changed the date to the day after I left for holidays, they knew I wouldn't be free. It felt like they just didn't want me there. I was on holiday for 10 days, got back and they have changed almost all the plans, sorted out the girls welcome gifts everything. Them picking a date they knew I wasn't free but moving it for someone else really made feel like they just don't value me at all. I messaged the mum who seemed the nicest separately, asked if we could meet up with our girls, she was lovely!! But I have learnt that her twins and the other 2 girls all went to nursery together, as did a few of the other girls in the class. It is a small school, capped at 18 kids per year, I'm terrified the kids will be as cliquey as the mums and my daughter will struggle to fit in.
Beyond this, they all are SAHM which is great and I have a lot of respect for that, but they have planned the picnic get to know you event for a Friday, so I imagine working parents won't be able to take their kids, luckily I don't work Friday but not everyone will be in that position. When I suggested Saturday instead they dismissed it entirely.
I don't know if me being 10/15 years older is influencing it but I feel like I'm from a different planet from these mums.
AIBU to be upset by their unfriendly attitudes? DH thinks I should back off from the class specific events as it is upsetting me and focus on the full school ones, should I do that or persevere?