Length of social events

jotunn · 18/08/2023 19:50

I'd knock 2 hours of each of your times! Coffee is an hour max. Lunch up to 2 unless it is something very special and planned. Dinner longer, but 3 hours is pretty good going - max 4 I think.

category12 · 18/08/2023 19:55

Couple of hours is more than enough for most visits.

If you drop by unannounced for coffee, an hour tops. Unplanned? Dropping by cos you're in the area? 😧 Make it short and sweet unless they seem really eager to keep you longer.

I suppose an evening meal might turn into a long night, but yeah, sounds like

Misty84 · 18/08/2023 19:57

All those times are too long! 3 hours for an unplanned coffee, yikes!

mast0650 · 18/08/2023 20:00

Hard to say in general. Don't you judge it by what everyone else is doing/saying? Whether the meal/drinks/chat are naturally coming an end or not?

But generally if we were inviting friends to lunch or vice versa then I would expect at least 3 (12-3 or 1-4) but could sometimes run much longer into the early eve. Dinner about 4 (not normally any longer than 5 unless an early start as don't really stay up later than 12.30 or 1am). Don't really do dropping round for coffee completely unplanned, but if we meet friends for last minute impromptu tea/coffee would normally be just 1-2 hours. But less if you get the impression the others have things to do!

FadeAwayAndRadiate · 18/08/2023 20:01

Cathyattie · 18/08/2023 19:46

DP and I disagree about reasonable length of time for social events, mainly groups sizes of 4 - me, DP, friend and their plus one. Typically averages as follows which I find too long and feel we sometimes overstay our welcome / hold our guests for too long.

dropping by for unplanned coffee when in area, 3 hours
lunch 4 hours
dinner 5 hours

AIBU? How long do you like such events to last ideally?

Those are all waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long. I would never invite you back again if you kept staying that long!

Unplanned coffee... 1 hour (And it's rude to drop in uninvited/unexpected!)

Lunch - 1.5 hours

Dinner - 2.5 to 3 hours.

Goatymum · 18/08/2023 20:08

Coffee unexpected - 1 hour
lunch - 2 hours
dinner - 3-4 depending on who it is and where.

AffIt · 18/08/2023 20:08

Coffee is an hour, an hour and a half at most.

Lunch 2-3 hours (but done by 4.30pm at the latest).

Dinner depends on how much you like the people you're dining with, but I'd say anything from four hours - whenever.

mast0650 · 18/08/2023 20:10

Also, there's lunch and there's lunch. Quick catch up with one friend midweek = 1/5 hours. Whole family or small group of friends round for Sunday lunch = 5 hours. But I'm very surprised by people who say dinner is 2.5 or 3 hours? Really? Everyone is always gone by 10.30 or 11 after you invite a group or friends round for dinner on on a Saturday night??

OrigamiOwls · 18/08/2023 20:14

3 hours on an unplanned visit?!

Original poster

Cathyattie · 18/08/2023 20:21

Thanks all. Very interesting responses. My biggest frustration is the unplanned coffees. It seems whenever we go anywhere, he suddenly realizes a friend lives on the route, so let's see if they're in for a coffee (and then really difficult to get him to leave). And that he always expects people to stop by when they are driving past his (our) house - and then keeps them for hours🙄

OP posts:

pictoosh · 18/08/2023 20:25

Unplanned coffee - one hour.
Lunch - two to two and a half hours.
Dinner - three hours.

Vault687 · 18/08/2023 20:27

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CurlewKate · 18/08/2023 20:29

My lunch parties often turn into supper parties.

Azaeleasinbloom · 18/08/2023 20:30

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Completely agree. Where does he get these ideas? Are his family like this ?

CurlewKate · 18/08/2023 20:31

And my dinner parties are not unknown to turn into breakfast parties.

But I am that rare Mumsnet breed-someone who likes her friends and loves entertaining.

AffIt · 18/08/2023 20:32

@CurlewKate you sound brilliant!

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 18/08/2023 20:33

If someone I knew, but not well enough not to already know they're in our county, dropped in - my heart would sink.

At someone's house on a precious weekend with no warning - an hour. Suggesting you meet somewhere for coffee - 90 mins.

Sugarfree23 · 18/08/2023 20:36

Unplanned coffee, an hour tops. I have a friend who used to come round for coffee - and wouldn't leave - we now meet out.

Lunch 2-3 hours.

Dinner could go on well into the evening

ShutTheDoorBabe · 18/08/2023 20:52

I can't imagine putting a time limit on the length of time a social call can take because it would feel like you either must make it that long, even if you want to leave after half an hour, or that you have to cut it short even if you're enjoying yourself. Surely it depends on the company, the time available and your mood on the day?

Sugarfree23 · 18/08/2023 21:30

ShutTheDoorBabe · 18/08/2023 20:52

I can't imagine putting a time limit on the length of time a social call can take because it would feel like you either must make it that long, even if you want to leave after half an hour, or that you have to cut it short even if you're enjoying yourself. Surely it depends on the company, the time available and your mood on the day?

The issue with that is other people might have things they need to be doing rather than entertaining visitors who have dropped in for coffee.

Its quite hard to say, I need to get on with the hoovering / cleaning the bathroom without sounding rude and disinterested.

Meeting for coffee means it keeps it relatively short and not let it take over my day.

ShutTheDoorBabe · 18/08/2023 21:36

Sugarfree23 · 18/08/2023 21:30

The issue with that is other people might have things they need to be doing rather than entertaining visitors who have dropped in for coffee.

Its quite hard to say, I need to get on with the hoovering / cleaning the bathroom without sounding rude and disinterested.

Meeting for coffee means it keeps it relatively short and not let it take over my day.

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I suppose that's where the confusion lies then because I would say that I was busy and needed to get on.

MidsummerMimi · 18/08/2023 21:51

The average children’s birthday party is actually the ideal social event, invite only, short with a set finishing time , gifts for the host, physical activities, cake and home.

Marwoodsbigbreak · 18/08/2023 21:55

Unplanned coffee popping in - NEVER

Lunch - two hours

Dinner - three hours

Always leave them wanting more…

Changingplace · 18/08/2023 22:00

Cathyattie · 18/08/2023 20:21

Thanks all. Very interesting responses. My biggest frustration is the unplanned coffees. It seems whenever we go anywhere, he suddenly realizes a friend lives on the route, so let's see if they're in for a coffee (and then really difficult to get him to leave). And that he always expects people to stop by when they are driving past his (our) house - and then keeps them for hours🙄

Oh my god just no, if someone turned up unannounced on it doorstep without even texting to see if I was free and stayed for more than an hour max I wouldn’t be happy.

You really need to stop him doing this or people won’t invite you another time!

ManchesterLu · 18/08/2023 22:10

jotunn · 18/08/2023 19:50

I'd knock 2 hours of each of your times! Coffee is an hour max. Lunch up to 2 unless it is something very special and planned. Dinner longer, but 3 hours is pretty good going - max 4 I think.

Absolutely this!