It’s expected (by DH) that I will maintain a close relationship with DHs family because he is close to them and wants us all to be one big family (when we got married he said the whole, my family is now your family bit).
I use annual leave and go with him to visit them multiple times a year - they’re a 6-7 hour drive away from us. I regularly text and FaceTime with them and often know things he doesn’t because I speak to them more often. I help to come up with gift ideas and remind him of their birthdays, Mother’s Day etc.
I don’t mind, I love them and they treat me like a daughter. But I realised that it’s not reciprocated for my family and it’s starting to annoy me.
The last time he text any member of my family was last year to say thank you for his birthday gift. And the text before that - to say thank you for his birthday gift the year before. And when I’ve pointed out that he makes no effort with my family, he says that’s because men don’t communicate well and what would he talk to them about.
I would almost understand that, because men do tend to be bad at communicating but he manages to maintain a close relationship with his family no problem.
He loves how close I am with his family but I’ve put so much effort into creating that relationship with them and I guess I feel bitter that he hasn’t done the same.
So my AIBU is - am I right to be a bit annoyed at the double standard with regards to how close I am expected to be with DHs family vs him with mine? Or is that just how it is with men vs women and family.
just to add - no issues with falling out, anytime we do see my family he always says how much he enjoys their company.